It hurtz.............

Society Business and Career
1

…when someone criticizes your degree/job regardless of you striving to study/work for what you’ve had a passion for ever since you could remember.

Especially if you’re a girl.

Guys, why are so many ppl so insensitive?
Sooo many ppl, (especially outdated Pakistani girls & Aunties..or heck, even outdated Pakistani boys & fathers) actually say it to my face that they think it’s “Pagal-pun” to study those really hardcore fields of Medicine or Engineering…
& what do ya know…i just happen to be studying electrical engineering.

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How retarded is it of someone to slap you in the face by saying to you – as a girl – that studying engineering is pagal pun? Or, guys making fun of a girl climbing those really tall electric towers fixing a fuse if you are one (hah! can’t beleive someone actually said that to me since they knew that engineering is more like…desigining…testing…not fixing or being a technician..like dhuhhh). Um, with comments like those, do we not realize that certain individuals have always longed to practice being a doctor, engineer, teacher, whatever?

Frankly, i can’t resist to smile at the funny thought when ppl say that to me only cuz i realize that they’re really really thickhead enough by not seeing how many Pakistani girls have been successful in receiving such particular degrees.

& I know a few of you girls/ladiez here are Engineers (yay) & some of you are in the midst of your Medicine study. So i think you kinda know what i’m talking about here.

Nonetheless, it still hurts that ppl put you down for what you have a passion for…
Yet…you still keep your head up high regardless.

Guys, why are some of us Pakistanis so backwarded…
Like honestly, times have changed. Anyone has the potential to be anything.

[This message has been edited by kohal (edited October 07, 2000).]

2

Kohal sweetie,

I guess the most important thing is to not let it get to you, I mean most of the people who say things like that are ignorant to start with…yikes maybe ignorant is too strong a word..but then it does ring true most of the time. People try to discourage you..in the name of culture, and in the name of religion. Even though it is perfectly A-Ok..and thats not right..so i guess where the ignorance comes in…some people are just really restricted in their outlook i guess.

Kohal, its your dream..your star, so keep following it, sometimes clouds will get in the way, sometimes someone will flash a bright light in your eyes so u can’t see, but if you really want it, then stick with it…

Why people are like that?..I don’t know, i mean who can explain backwardness, and ignorance…other than by saying that it stems from a refusal to accept change, a refusal to change and the learning that comes with.

If the blind lead the blind both shall fall into the ditch.Ahem! I’m not saying anything hereinnocent smile

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But no matter what, even though we know the criticisms are baseless and just plain ignorant…they still manage to influence us, and throw shadows of doubt, right girls? They do get to us…despite everything it still hurts. But remember to keep your head high, your back straight, one foot in front of the other regardless…lol..wry smile I feel like i should say something like ‘foward march!’

GfQ gives Kohal a big hug

Remember SMILE and remember its your dream afterall

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3

hey kohal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u are an engineering student aswel
im doing chemical engineering
hey i just ignore those type of people
u know what i think to my self when they say that kohal

i say to my self ,, when u see me in a couple of years time in my nice car, nice home , with plenty of ££ inshallah then u will find out if it is useless or not...
so dont be disheartened
just laugh at them
i mean people dont knoiw
what engineering is
when i say im doing chemical engineering they think im going to go round fixing these pipes and distillation columns with a spaner in my hand .. what they dont realise is im designing the equipment not fixing it with spanners
so next time solme one says that just laugh at them

the dictionary is the only place where success comes before work

4

Pagal pun? Pagal pun?!?

Kohal, it sounds as if they might be jealous! Unless these people are really close relations then that might be a good reason. Because I can't imagine close and caring relatives being jealous of a person...

Anyway, its nice to see that when people say things like that to your face, then you quietly try to see the funny side of it. You probably already know that it is useless to lash out at these people in return. Because thats what they really want to see from you. They want to see anything that sets you off...

I mean what kind of person tries to change your mind about your degree by insulting you first by calling you "pagal pun"?! Either they are terribly proud, arrogant, conceited and/or they are terribly jealous as they see you as some sort of threat. Especially that you are a girl - then those sick feelings are multiplied by a rather large number...

Anyway, kohal, just say phooey about them and carry on with your degree with all the passion and energy that it rightly deserves. Don't waste your energy on them. Because thats exactly what those people want you to do.

But then, I really didn't need to say any of this... because any person can see that you already knew this from your post...

Like everybody here, we say good luck with your subjects...

They shoot partypoopers, don't they?

5

Kohal,

When I was considering my MSc in IT my father was not very supportive. He`d say stufff like “you wont be able to do that”, do something a bit easier!!! basically he didnt think I had the brains to do it. But I was adamant, and I went through with it, cuz I wanted to prove to him that I could do it, and it wasnt just a male field. His unfavourable attitude soon changed when I passed ny first semester with good grades. He hasnt mentioned it since

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/hehe.gif

Anyways the moral of the story is: the more people put you down the more determined you should be in proving yourself, samjhe

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GFQ,

You are spot on, I totally agree with you

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[This message has been edited by Mariah (edited October 09, 2000).]

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Don't listen to them! There are a number of thickheads out there, who always say "as a girl you can't do this, you can't do that ". It does hurt but one cannot make everyone happy at all the times.

I think its awesome that you are in this field and keep it up.

Think!

7

Oye Kohal
Feel proud of yourself when chaning fuses

I got this sust and kahil person at home who claims to be a mechanical engineer (as if

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) and cant even do some handy work around the house

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Jokes aside
My father practically laughed when i told him i dont want to do medicine and wanna study computers
Kher he forced me into med school and i suffered for two years disecting cockroaches ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Kher i put my foot down and got out of there did my IT thingie and now he brags to his friends about how his daughter can fix computers and blah blah blah

Now i told him i wanna do accounting and he was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
you have to be good in maths and there is too much calculation involved and you would get it all wrong …
Lets see in a years time he will be found among his friends bragging bout how his daughter is taking care of all his financial stuff

[This message has been edited by Anchal (edited October 09, 2000).]

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what about reverse of that?

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I decided to change majors from computer engineering to business, and some uncle/aunty types were like..why are you dong that ..and people who cant get into engineering go into commerce, why are you throwing away an engineering future.

It took years for some to believe that its good for someone to be in a fiels which they actually enjoy and dont just do it because thats the thing to do etc etc.

as far as your trials with your education, dont let people drag you down or make you feel bad. People will not agree with many choices that you will make, education, career, city you want to live in, spouse, children’s names..theie education choices etc etc

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ahahah see it continues..

9

Oh lordy,
i’m short on time at the moment but i so want to reply to some of the things i read of what you guys wrote. I swear, as soon as i get the chance, i will so reply! Later for now.!

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If you don't have experience, how do you expect to get a job?
How do you expect to get experience when you don't have a job?

Employers can never answer these questions!!!

*V~V~V*He came, He saw, He conquered*V~V~V*

11

[quote]
Originally posted by The Watcher:
**If you don't have experience, how do you expect to get a job?
How do you expect to get experience when you don't have a job?

Employers can never answer these questions!!!

**
[/quote]

Yep they can

"internships during education"

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Yeah, I was gonna write that, but hey we want money, no internships.

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But, not every company offers internships. Right?

V~V~VHe came, He saw, He conqueredV~V~V**

13

Yaar, if you want to work with Unilever after graduation and they dont have an internship program you can always get experience with other companies.

It does not have to be experience with that particular company, even though they really give an advantage to the applicant.

Not all internships are paid, but the benefits of internships for future career are much more important than the money that interns get.

14

Kohal, I know you asked me for my input on the subject. First of all, one can ONLY study what interests one. Picking a career is a major and intricate decision only for the reason that you will be stuck with it for most of your life. Therefore, pick something which interests you, and won’t bore you after a couple of months. Aside from trying to meet expectations of friends, family, loved ones, there is also something such as “achieving personal goals.” Things one wants to do for themselves.

Always remember, which ever path you decide to take in life, there will always be two kinds of people along the line. Ones who will encourage you to go after your dreams no matter what. And then the second group which will try its best to discourage you. The later can only get to you if YOU let them.

As long as your goals and personal achievements are not clashing with Shariah and limitations, there is nothing wrong with setting out to gain them. Also keep in mind, getting a degree does not necessarily assure success in life. It’s just a guarantee that you have passed one phase of knowledge and are ready to progress to the next level. Always keep your mind and heart open for the possibilites of growth. Regardless of which direction it’s coming from.

As far as changing bulbs is concerned, there is nothing wrong with being dexterous. In fact as I see it, one should excel in every department of life. You are better off without folks who only bring out the negative in a person.

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ppl my mom is a principal and father a businessman, my sis is doing her masters in econ (and shes younger than me). im doing my 2nd bach -- in hospitality mangement. why in the hell am telling u this. well because my family is openminded (im not saying everyne elses r not). most of my friends fathers say my son or daughter is going to be a business man/woman or join the family business. it'll take time for the previous generation(particularly males) to accept our (daughters or sons) independence. id say try to develop an understanding with parents. not easy! -- true! weve got to try, since we're the younger ones, blah,blah...be proud dear of wht ur doing. show ur parents and every else uve accomplished something in life.

[This message has been edited by usmansalim (edited October 12, 2000).]

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Before I begin my message, I want to say that some of you will disagree. If you do please please post it here so I can read and understand what you have to say. I always like to see some one commenting me.

Ok so here I am, I am also doing Electrical Engineering. I am going to be Senior in a term. My advice to Kohal is that don't worry what people say and be firm on your plans. Let me tell you, as any other field, EE is very demanding field. I have spend nights in labs.

After first two years of school you will have an idea what you wana do. (I hope I am not discouraging you)

You really need to work hard .... not only geeting good grades are necessary but also you should think how and when you will apply those "equations"

I would encourage you to get internship cause they really help you in gaining real world experience.

I have two yrs of experience (internships and work). Currently I am working as QA Engineer (part time) and it really pays well.

My last comment is that I will not go for Masters in EE instead I will go for software engineering or computer engineering cause there are more exciting jobs out there in the field.

===========================================
I am off topic but it is ok.

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Let’s be realistic here. With a name like Kohal, you stand no chance in engineering or medicine. Kohal is a name more appropriately suited for disciplines like Anthropology, Religion. Any Social Science, Humanities, Liberal Arts, or Languages.

Now let me assure you that social sciences or liberal arts are alot more demanding and complex than any physical science or engineering. Anyone with an average brain can become a physical or natural scientist, it takes intelligence to be a social one.

Good luck Kohal.

When I opted for economics, like Fraudzie, I had to fight major family battles. I threatened my relatives with suicide were I forced to study engineering (they wanted even more for me to study engineering after that threat).

Now looking at my engineer and doctor cousins, I really want to kill myself.

18

GQ – as much of a poet you are, your way of expressing in “one being their own star, bearing the clouds in the sky, & being blinded by the bright flash” metaphor is another one of your clear ways-of-putting life strategies yet.

Riz – see? Some ppl dont’ even have a clue as to what even chemical engineers do…with them thinking that they fix pipes & stuff – not that there’s anything wrong with that or anything. Just, it’s silly, how some ppl misconceive certain things..

Mr. Partypooper – it’s crappy if someone you don’t know so well puts you down on something (even though you try to hopefully brush it away). On the other hand, it would totally SUX if someone close to you, or closely related to you puts you down. Grrr..that’s like a total stab in the heart.

Mariah – looks like you had to go through with your dad with respect to what i was saying to Mr. PartyPooper. & i’m sure your dad is so proud of his daughter.. I’m glad you got what you aimed for. Awesome.

Roshnie – thank you. :slight_smile:

Anchal – ewwwwwww @ the roachesss. Especially since, uff, you get those big ones which FLY

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in PK!!!

Fraudia – that’s quite a different way to look at it…wrt taking the criticism of changing your field study compared studying anything at all. & yeah, basically anywhere you turn your face to, you’ll hear/see criticism. As if ppl have nothing better to do but comment on others & not at themselves!

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Rare – i so agree with you. Getting the degree ..is just one phase of life you’ve been successful in getting through with. Though, true, there’s more to life than that where we’ve gotta work hard at. The way i see it, when you study, study hard. When you party, party hard. & when you love, love hard. I mean wrt caring & stuff. :slight_smile: Giving 100% in everythign you do…

Usman – you’re talking about the same sister who’s in that picture with you right? Well, newayz, tell me about that development of understanding between the parents & kids (especially the youngest one!) – at times, it is way tough to figure it out or even handle it at times. But nonetheless, you pull through & hopefully they’re all content with your own decisions…

NYAhmadi –

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Sometimes i just dunno what to think, or even how to reply to your posts. & i think i just demonstrated that. :slight_smile:

K,
thanks to everyone who replied to this thread. I’m really glad 'bout some of the uplifting things ya’ll have said.

I guess, if we’re put down…it hurts…but if it hurts…then it means that there’s more to the 1-dimensional reason as to why we didnt’ like the criticism – possibly cuz wat we choose & want is truly a complex passion & there’s the strive present to get it more than ever thought before. Basically saying: the negative criticism one gets is a total motivation to get what one yearns to get.
I hope that makes sense with what i just said.

[This message has been edited by kohal (edited October 21, 2000).]

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Poet?rueful smile
Kohal

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/kiss.gif

It makes perfect sense

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Life isn’t all joy and happiness, there’s lots of other stuff too, and we gotta acknowledge it…wry smile..and kohal u really said it all, i mean if we really believe in something, if we really want something, we’ll stick with it..and in the end the outcome will only be sweeter for it all..

Guyz remember…What you see in yourself is what you see in the world.

kay i’m out

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