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*Originally posted by RKH: *
Guys, this topic will soon be split into two. One for the original post (suhaag raat) and the other for Extended Families.
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If every post has to end on "WOMEN RIGHTS" why dont Gupshup create a TOPIC "women right" to let all the complaining women post their LONG essays there so that we all can talk about the "real" topic.
It could be. I am still looking for more references.
I agree with the intelligent part ONLY 
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*Originally posted by RajputFury: *
Jeez Ana, don't bust an artery!
Hey it's not a biggie if you single me out. I stand by what I said. All I am going to say is that if I ever ever had a bitter attitude like yours, I would never expect a girl to marry me, so learn from a "baby" get a grip on your emotions and join the real world where we resolve our differences not make this into a sex war.
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WOW, Finally a man standing for "his" rights. I like that.... Good work Rajput
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*Originally posted by Asif M. Ali: *
WOW, Finally a man standing for "his" rights. I like that.... Good work Rajput
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asif-plz tell me, just what do u think are your "man's" rights?
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*Originally posted by 714: *
asif-plz tell me, just what do u think are your "man's" rights?
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My first Right is to remain silent. :)
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*Originally posted by Sheraz CT: *
raajput yaar I feel really strong about this...i also know all parents dont treat/love their children the same...but thank God my parents are great and no matter how much i takecare of them it will never be enough...there is a hadith by Prophet that your heaven lies beneath the feet of your mother.....how can i leave my mother :)
i work in hartford but live in middletown...you are near newyork so its cool..u can go thre anytime u like
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yara your 100% on target. I think of all of my Islamic obligations as a son, our cultural importance of having strong families and how can one just abondon that? I have lived with my parents and lived away from them when I was in college, I know how much they are an important part of my life. I am sure your situation is similar. I mean our parents aren't going to be here forever, so it is important that we take care of them as well aws we can. Without my mother's duas and my fathers encouragement, my accomplishments are nothing! You have a good head on your shoulders and don't let anyone ever change that.
Middletowns a nice place. I actually work in New York city, so I am there everyday. I am living with my parents right now, but trying to find a house in the same town..the prices would kill my wallet. CT is a wonderful state, I just wish that it wasn't so rich and high class.
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*Originally posted by Ana: *
Please get a clue on why your message- a feminist one- was rejected by the majority of women
RF - WHICH women rejected my message? Pls. point out to me all the names of the women who answered this thread, and which ones rejected it in particular. Then get a clue.
Bitterness? I just stated facts as I saw them, and u think I'm spewing venom here? As for losing respect for me, like I said, I'm not here to gain anything or lose anything, just kill time by answering meaningless General Cafe posts, and swat flies by answering things that matter to me.
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Ana, a world exists beyond Gupshup and I was referring to that reality Look around you, your community you city, your country..Feminism is as much of a fringe movement as the "wife beaters" club (if one exists). Even G.Steinam married. But hey, I believe in living and letting others live so if you feminists hate men and don't ever want to marry then that fine with me. I don't mind hearing the rantings and ravings, because the people have already rejected the rhetoric of extremism.
You are bitter and I feel sorry for you. I don't know about your particular life experiences and I think that has biased your judgement heavily. I take issue when you attempt to poison the institution of marriage and portray all men as evil. True, there are evil men but as you have made pretty clear there are evil women as well..In my mind, I don't see the difference between the 2. The vast majority of men and women marry, have problems along the road, attempt to solve them and move on. Yes the divorce rate is high in this country but so is the remarriage rate. You have major emotional/psychological issues and it would best if you deal with them before ppreaching to us.
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*Originally posted by CurruptAngel: *
You know what the best way your wife can get along with your parents is if you guys move out but keep in touch with your parents and help them whenever they need. It really becomes a "battle" for a woman (and as well as for her husband) in trying to get along with her in-laws, it's obvious that both parties try to control each other, it leaves hard feelings about each other. I think most women now-a-days expect their husbands to move out after marriage because they want to make their life less complicated than it is. The whole idea of a joint family system is like impossible to imagine, people want more privacy than they ever wanted before. There are so many things to worry about than worrying about how to make your wife to obey your parents(now-a-days people don't even get along with their own parents how do you expect them to get along with yours?) live with them and listen to whatever they say, that's just too much to ask you know. People want "easy" life. However, if you do think she should live with your parents all her life and never be rude to them then I think you should explain this to her "before" marriage not on the wedding day, for God's sake.:D The wedding night is a beginning of new life for both o' you so it should be nice. It should be only about you two! :)
ps.
btw nice to see so many people love and respect their parents!
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Curruptangel, maybe you should drop the currupt part of your name :)
I agree with what you said, very balanced and realistic. I'm glad to have read yor opinions. yes ofcourse it shouldn't be a battle for the women, I mean if your marrying a girl then she must have a lot more control in the family. If the guy only listens to his parents then he might as well not marry. I personally don't believe that the wife should "obey" parents orders but rather respect them, by that I mean, it is ok to make your own choices but the parents opinions should be respected. I think that applies for the guy as well. It is good to discuss matters with your and her elders before making a decision..but the decision should be yours.
It is also important and nice to have your wife to be on good terms with your parents, resentments and misgivings over small things cause a lot of problems.
Don’t smile and pat your back just yet. Those are the things that the men in your life may have been afriad to say just like many men on gupshup would be afriad. Thats the truth. Don’t you think I see a common pattern? I’m so glad that you perceptive enough to see it as well 
Lets just say that “she” was laughing her head off when I send her this link, because unlike your wildly inaccurate asumptions and generally negative attitude, she understands my positions from day one. I found a diamond in the wasteland and discussions like these make me realize how much more special she is!
I still dont think I've acheived the purpose for which I started this thread. Can someone please mention somehting relative to topic. i will appreciate married ppl giving suggestions and a simple " steps to follow " guide. Thanks in advance.
RF so u will be actually moving out of ur parents house and find a house close by so basically ur wife shouldnt have any kinda problem..as for me..i dont even want to do that..well we just bought a house here..and i just got my basement finished and i like it..i am not getting married anytime anyway :)
well fairfield county must be expensive..i heard greenwich is the most expensive place in the world along with beverly hills ..is that true ?
and u know i never liked middletown but our house is right next to cromwell and i really like this neighbrhood..and we are right off exit 18 on 91..kabhi chakker lagana :)
RF so u will be actually moving out of ur parents house and find a house close by so basically ur wife shouldnt have any kinda problem..as for me..i dont even want to do that..well we just bought a house here..and i just got my basement finished and i like it..i am not getting married anytime anyway
Sheraz, I’m married yet either The house…its a long story but lets just say that I like to bring my work (Business) home. I look at it as a great investment, plus I’m looking for a Mother/Daughter deals where my folks can move in with me once I am married. My parents brought their house back in the 1960s and the price they paid laughable considering the towns prices these days, and since it’s a one family, I think the best deal for all of us would be if my folks cash in by selling and I could buy a bigger house for all of us. Sorry for getting wayy off topic but thats my motivation. My fiancee absolutely adores my parents and shes stayed over with us so it looks good right now. Congratulations on the house!! It’s great that you have the basement all set, I always wanted what they call a “party basement” or I guess the bachelor pad for you
**well fairfield county must be expensive..i heard greenwich is the most expensive place in the world along with beverly hills ..is that true ? **
Yara, It’s location, location, location!! for Fairfield cty, it’s almost like everyone works/goes to NYC regularly. My parents house is in Greenwich, and yeah it’s up there, I think it’s second or third (Maybe Aspen or Colorado Springs beats it). But truth be told, it wasn’t always like this, it’s saare businesspeople/elites moved here during the 90s. It’s still a really great town, enough to make me commute BACK home for the weekends when I was studying at Columbia. I can’t afford $700,000 (minimum) for a house though, so I’m looking at Old Greenwich and Cos Cob as they are a tad bit more reasonable (yeh reasonable mean half a million), but can’t find a place big enough.
**and u know i never liked middletown but our house is right next to cromwell and i really like this neighbrhood..and we are right off exit 18 on 91..kabhi chakker lagana **
It’s been ages since I’ve been up your neck of woods, but I know 91. Middletown was whayt I like to call a “classic CT town” it has everything that one could want. Thanks for the offer, definately kabhi milna parega..and same goes for you, Exits 3-1 on 95 are all Greenwich, drop by next time your going to NYC, or better yet wait for my housewarming
PS: Sorry everyone for being off topic, but when I meet decent desis in CT, it would be rude not to have a word or two about our gloroius state 
Ana,
I would agree with some of the things you said, however I'd probably elaborate a bit more, and possibly provide references for some of the things.