Issue of Money !!

If the girl have to live mith MIL and FIL (Just bcoz the hubby is out of country for job) then is it fine to ask money from ur MIL and FIL or your hubby should have to give you money for the expenses??
If the hubby says that i will give all the monthly money to my parents and they will provide you whatever you want ,then is it okhay or is it wrong??
How will u feel if u have to ask money for the clothes and other stuff from ur MIL ?? Does you feel like that you are a beggar who have to ask money from others?

  Is job is the solution for this??

Re: Issue of Money !!

He should give a bit to you and a bit to your parents.

I am really confused on how people get married but don't understand the basics about how to treat a wife.

Re: Issue of Money !!

1) Talk to your fiance about this issue. Ask him what you should do if you need or want something. Ask him if you should ask money from your MIL............or does he plan to send an particular amount of money specifically for you? Listen to his response.

2) Ask him how he feels about the idea of you getting a job.

3) If your husband and in-laws are reasonable and flexible with giving money to you for your needs...........then you won't feel like a beggar. If your husband and in-laws make you feel bad and treat you rudely every time you ask for money................then you WILL feel like a beggar. Also, keep in mind that YOUR demands for money need to be reasonable and not extravagant.

4) Please find the answers to these questions BEFORE marrying this guy. If you get the feeling that him and his mom will treat you badly over money in the future....then consider the option of not marrying him. You have already had many issues with this guy. So, think carefully about your future before making any final decisions.

Re: Issue of Money !!

DA ..it really depend that what kind of inlaws u have...

i know one girl..and she had a really hard time with her inlaws with same situation..

1 ) He is saying that he will give me 5000 Rs. monthly for cell phone credits and other girlie stuff and for the rest of the things i should have to ask from the MIL.

2 ) He has no problem with my job.But then after job he wants that i should save my money also for the rainy days.

So he is fine with you having a job. And he says he'll send you 5000 rupees monthly. To phir masla kya hai?

Re: Issue of Money !!

Whether you have good in-laws or Bad, This is totally wrong that you have to ask them for money. I mean its not only that you would need money for shopping alone.There can be 100 more needs. and for each need you would be required to give reason too while receiving money from parents. that need may be or may not be very happily accepted by them. Which will bring in the arguments and hence spoil the whole relation.

If you talk to your hubby and he doesnt get ur point, then best thing what I would do in such situation would be to find a job for myself. That 5000 which he is willingly ready to give you, he can save that for the rainydays.

It depends on what kind of relationship you have with your MIL/ FIL and how comfortable you feel with them. E.g. Your MIL could be your real Khala and you might feel that you could easily ask for money from her.

However, if you would feel really awkward asking your in-laws, then explain this to your Husband serenely. Maybe your Husband wants to show his Mother some kind of respect as he feels his mother did raise and support him. Except, he needs to cut the cord and realise that this issue is just between Husband and Wife, and that there is no need for his wife to have to ask anyone for money except him. He shouldn't put you in such an awkward position either.

Re: Issue of Money !!

Why are u marrying him again?

tell him, he can give his parents as much as he wants but he should give you your own share. there's no need for you to be asking his parents for money for shopping, etc...

Re: Issue of Money !!

Your husband should give you your share of keep separately. You shouldn't have to ask his parents for money even if he is the one giving it to them in the first place.

Set the ground rules NOW and save yourself a lot of hassle in the long run. Money always causes heartache and if you are having to ask his parents for money I can foresee big issues arising in the future.

Re: Issue of Money !!

If he is saying...I will give you 5000rps for the month and this should cover your costs and if you need anymore for whatever reason than ask my mother then i think this is ok.

If he is saying im giving you 5000rps and he knows it doesnt cover your monthly costs and you have to ask mother for extra because i cant trust you with money and im treating you like a child then this is wrong.

Re: Issue of Money !!

guys like that should not be able to get married. 'ill give all the money to my mom, u can ask her for it whenever u want' bs!

tell him ur opening ur own credit card, u will spend ur own money and when the bill comes, he can tell ur MIL/FIL to open it and pay it.

Love this answer! Definitely the best way to address the issue. His parents get his salary and you get to spend as you wish. Make sure the credit card has a cash advance option.

Sumorani u gave me such a great and mature answer :) I will do this inshaAllah