well, we know many of us come here n discuss our problems/ depression/ n whatever makes us sad waghera …
why we feel better if we see someone else going through the same …
why we say 'i feel better now as i’m not alone '…
isn’t it wrong / selfish / mean attitude …
comments/…???
no u r not selfish, wid the kind of problems being discussed these days, not even embarassingly so 
well i think part of the reason some of us may feel upset is that we feel we're alone...that something's wrong with us, we're the only one going through this and no one can understand it.. thats why when we find out someone going thru something, we realize that hey we're not freaks, we're not weird, we're normal.....
Re: isn’t it selfish/ unhealthy attitude…???
I’m sorry but this makes no sense to me at all. How can people sharing their thoughts/issues/feelings, etc. and taking comfort from others peoples’ posts be construed as having a mean attitude? 
The only way it can be seen as selfish is if a person makes every thread about themselves and ignores everybody elses posts. I don’t see that happening here though.
As for it being “wrong”, it all depends on the individual. Some people think it’s wrong to discuss certain topics for whatever reason … others may have no problem with it.
^
sorry for making no sense ....but i meant it like.....hmmmm......like i was upset about my daughter's illness .....i came here ....opened a thread ....when khawateen told me about her mother ...n hayaa told me about herself ....i was kinda relieved (mean isn't it)...not much but i felt better .....n today when i was wandering in past few weeks i felt so ashamed of myself .....sooo guilty ....
I don't think there's anything mean about that. You took comfort in knowing that other people had similar problems and that they were doing well .... that's nothing to be ashamed of.
Afia baji this is human nature..
it is always comforting to see you're not alone..
like if i tell someone that yaar guess what i have missed the deadline for the project, and my friend tells me irem oh i missed it too...i think its inevitable that it'll make me feel like oh atleast there's someone else with me and im not facing this situation alone...
i think what would be mean is to pray or try that the other person not overcome their problems just so you have company in your misery...the right thing would be to pray that Allah swt solve their problems and your problems too...
i mean u should always be a well wisher for the other person... :-)
hope i am making sense :D
Re: isn't it selfish/ unhealthy attitude....???
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Afia: *
well, we know many of us come here n discuss our problems/ depression/ n whatever makes us sad waghera .......
why we feel better if we see someone else going through the same .....
why we say 'i feel better now as i'm not alone '.....
isn't it wrong / selfish / mean attitude ......
comments/....???
[/QUOTE]
Not at all........Atleast the 2 going through the same experience can help each other some how....
Some days ago I was feeling really down about a situation I found myself in. For such a long time, I felt like I’m the only one out there like this and no one can really understand what it is like to be in this situation. But then I met some folks online who were in the same situation, and were worse off than me. So yea, I felt relieved that I was not the only one out there. Then I gave thanks to Allah that I was much better off. Then I stopped complaining and finally I tried to do what I could to help the other people.
It’s not that you are mean or selfish to find that someone else is going through a hard time too, it’s just that finding out about it puts things into perspective and helps us cope with our own problems.
From what I have observed happening here, people are not just offering sympathy, but very often proactive advice resulting from their own experiences :k: