The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the
Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony,
two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into
the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they
were both eaten by a shark.
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen,
shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from
his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away
from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of
wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. A shame as he
had merely been listening to his walkman.
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the
cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the
pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and
stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
And the last & best…
Iraqi terrorist, Naseer Abu Karama, didn’t pay enough
postage on aletter bomb. It came back with “return to sender”
stamped on it. You guessed it, he opened it and said a fond farewell to
his face.