Peace Miss_Noland
I hope you do not think that I have given an interpretation. I am simply providing a way you can reconcile and come to terms with your own interpretation or the ones you have heard. I am merely showing you that even with the understanding that you have gauged it is not as black and white as you are putting it.
The correct interpretation is the one that will point you to Allah (SWT), but you still may not be guided by it until you allow yourself to be guided by it and Allah (SWT) Wills it for you. To arrive at the place where Muslims are in this regard at least those who have become Muslim by choice, which does not include myself, is to acquire the answers from those people who know more than us and they will also provide you with satisfactory answers with why they should be consulted.
The Word is from God, but that does not make it necessary that all will be guided by that Word. The Qur’an itself says that some will be misguided by it. Surely it would be proof against the Qur’an if it claimed that it will guide everybody and yet we still see people being misguided, rather it states that some will be guided and others not, and this is exactly what is happening.
Okay for your last contention … The very beginning of the Qur’an states that it is a Guidance for those who fear God. i.e. the condition to fear God comes before trying to receive guidance from the Book. Know that those who read the Qur’an and do not get guided by it, are also not those who fear God. Believe in God first, understand Him well, then consult the Qur’an for guidance, or rather just read the Qur’an with an open mind and in time hopefully you will find what you are looking for.
It is true that you will find things that you disagree with, because they may seem to be unfamiliar to your likes, preferences and experiences, but if you ask yourself what “other” meaning can be taken from this and if you find that there are “other” possibilities than the negative one then read on … because until you find a conclusive impossibility in the Qur’an it is hence not falsifyable.
There is no reason why you must focus on the negative interpretation, when really you should be looking at the whole Qur’an and argue you case by looking at all of it.
Some people say the Qur’an was written by the devil, this cannot be true because the Qur’an curses the devil. There are many things like this that directly address your concerns. In many places it talks about justice and equity and the rank of women then why is it you take a single verse here and there and automatically assume it to be the negative meaning that does not fit with the rest of the Qur’an?
You are looking for fairness but I don’t think you are being fair in your assessment of the Qur’anic ayaat.