I truly believe every relationship is different. My husband has changed for better. He was always a sweet person. Even when we first started talking, in the process of getting to know each other. We've been married for a yr now MA, he has changed himself so much for me, its amazing. I do think our priorities change somewhat after we get married and have kids. We have more responsibilites but despite my husband's super busy schedule, he always always have time for me. Every little thing from requesting a day off from work to talking to his siblings, he tells me all. If he has lets say 1000 dollars to spend, he would spend it all on me. Before he was always .. oh i don't believe in spending too much. Now he gets me the most faltu stuff ever. I really don't know why some men are different. Mine was an arranged marriage where I met him only once before getting married.
Here is the thing about my relationship. I had nikah in pakistan and we were apart for 2 and half years since he was in pakistan and me at U.S. We had wonderful phone talks, and chit chats online. He use to get whatever I wanted and every wish was granted basically. And Now he is always busy with work and hardly has time for anything romantic like candle light dinner, or even a rose here and there..It's been only a year and half since our shaadi! did anyone go through some changes in their hubbies as well!!
Ok so I have almost the same situation as yours. Nikkah in Pakistan, 1 and half year ago. Talks on phone, skype, webcams.... We mashallah came so close during this time and we always know what the other person is upto. Sleeping, eating, studying, busy or whatever. Our immigration got so late for some family reasons. I still havent had rukhsati yet. Now he is busy with work, kind of some times frustrated with it and all tht. And when I get worried about all tht he actually takes time to explain me things and make an effort to come closer.
Im inshallah going to pakistan soon to get married. Our wedding was planned here in USA. But looking at some circumstances I finally decided I want to be with him more than anything. And guess what I was all upset that I m going out of my way, convinced everyone for rukhsati in pakistan (me and hubs have been planning tht).
But now he gets too frustrated about work or sometimes I think when he is not frustrated he is just not that romantic anymore. So I had this good talk with him and he explained how worried he is about his work. He is satisfied for having a wife, mom and family. And mashallah he feels blessed. But only work sometimes get him.
So I guess that happens to everyone. In our (you and me) case when we are back to US after the Nikkah, we miss each other since its a such a strong but a new relationship. And the feeling that you are apart from each other. But things gets to normal when you are together. You have a confirmation tht he/she is not going anywhere and will stay with me forever (inshallah). So that feeling I guess slows down the things a bit but that doesnt mean that he loves you lesser than before. You know life gets too practical for men especially and they set some goals after they get married.
So no need to worry about it. I think its the same for everyone. No big deal. Just always show him your support and all my good luck to you :)
cherrybell I feel for you since I know that is just such a hard time to go through. I am glad you made the decesion to have your ruksati and be with your husband as it's not easy being so far away. Our nikah was really prolonged and my husband was very unhappy with the situation since he wanted to have the ruksati very early however it worked out this way so atleast in the end we are with each other MA. I guess when I see my parents they are both so comfortable being apart from each other, some days they don't talk much with each other yet they have great relationship and I think it's because over the years they have known each other well enough to not have to verbally communicate with each other to understand each other feelings and thoughts.. Me and my husband had a dramatic change when my daughter was born as he works and is finishing up his masters in computer sciences so he is always busy elsewhere.. He aknowledges the fact that he is busy and unable to give me time but part of me just feels that it'll stay this way as I am busy with daughter and I work and he is busy with his stuff.. I think it's time for me to start and hope that he follows with me :)