Re: Is this understandable??
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The girls choose to marry the men they loved knowing full-well that the parents would not approve. They made this decision as an adult. Obviously to them the marriage/husbands were worth “upsetting” the parents. Yes, I’m sure that they were very hurt. However, since this was expected…I honestly don’t think they have any right to complain. The girls choose to go ahead with the marriage and the parents choose to show their agitation by not throwing a lavish wedding.
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As for the brother…no, I don’t think he did anything wrong. Why should the brother (and his future wife) sacrifice their “dream” wedding? Just b/c the parents and the sisters have issues? How is that fair to the brother’s wife? Although I’m curious…did the parents pay for the brother’s shaadi(and not the brother’s wife’s parents)? Or by “lavish wedding”, are you refeerring to the walima?
I think this whole things with desis expecting “sacrifices” from everyone is what leads to so much drama. We want to do what makes us happy…but then we expect others to agree with us. As the saying goes…you can’t have your cake and eat it too. In situations where someone knows that the family isn’t happy with a decision…but they choose to go ahead with it anyway…part of that also involves letting go of the expectation that the family will “sacrifice” and pretend to be happy (when they’re really not).