is this normal?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: is this normal?

So you havn't even met this guy ?

22

Re: is this normal?

to the OP

You deserve better...........let him go....no need to compromise if he is boring..

23

It’s not just you hun. :hehe:

24

Re: is this normal?

Not sure what that mean “I have to meet him first”, if you already know few personal things about him. Internet? Chat? Phone/text conv? Common Friend? :konfused:

25

Re: is this normal?

I'm gonna say no...

Thats not normal, hes a controlling guy. It hasn't seeped into your life yet - hes what you define as "homely to the extreme" and if it doesn't fit in with your agenda I would run for the hills, failing you have no hills, I would just look for the nearest exit sign.

26

Re: is this normal?

Are you reading my mind right now?

No?

I'm saying 'Bollocks you can tell that from anything in this thread!'

27

Re: is this normal?

He maybe a fine guy or may not be. Not possible to make any judgment yet.

So wait till you have more info about him before ‘dmp’ the guy. But again how can you dump the guy you never met or is your SO yet.

Great words of wisdom. :smack:

28

Re: is this normal?

she deserves better....not that looooooser..

29

Re: is this normal?

TBH I wouldn't need to meet a guy like that, I go to restaurents and I have non-muslim friends, this does not mean they will lead me to haraam things as this is my choice. When I go out to restaurents I eat veggie options if it is not halal. I think if you live your life in a similiar way and do not agree with this guys sentiments one day it will lead to clashes and then because you will be involved and have feelings he will try to manipulate you into this way of thinking and try to control your behaviour to what he feels is right, this will have a negative effect on your life and you will not be able move on as he will have you down as a doormat, once he has won you over.

Seriously run, fast.

30

Re: is this normal?

^^ Too much generalizations here.Follow everyone’s advice,leave that looser and continue waiting for your prince charming.:cool:

31

Re: is this normal?

all these are red flags! run awayyyyyy. : D

32

Re: is this normal?

a spouse should be a partner in life. just because someone is a nice guy doesn't mean you'll make each other happy.

33

Re: is this normal?

^ exactly. I see alot of you jokingly suggest seh leave him, well she's ot even "with" him....she's not engaged or married, so she has no obligation to "like" him.

If OP were married, and these issues came up, i would definitely tell her to work it out

34

Re: is this normal?

I told him that i wont be in touch anymore, coz we are probably too different also he's been keeping me waiting for alsmost 3 months and still has not asked me out coz he 'is not used to it'....

35

Re: is this normal?

ha'i zalim ka bachcha kaheen kaa, itna zulm .. tsk tsk

36

Re: is this normal?

hehe i know ur joking... but seriously it was getting a lil weird... he was only texting me and tried to call me once and cudnt reach me and never tried agn...
i guess i found him a bit insecure.. :s
i dont dislike him now, but were probably nto suitable for eachother.

37

Re: is this normal?

Maybe try explaining to him that this life is supposed to be a test and part of the test is whether or not we make the right right decisions when we are surrounded by wrong influences....such as being strong enough not to avoid the alcohol when you can easily access it. If every ghalat influence/temptation is removed from your path....then it's not much of a test. That's one way to look at it. People who veer off to extremes make religion difficult to follow (and that's mentioned in hadith) not only for themselves but others as well....and I've found that those who go to extremes tend to make contradictions often. Talk to him about your concerns, but if you're feeling overwhelmed.....then let him go and move on. It's not impossible to find someone more compatible with your personality.

38

Re: is this normal?

He is a keeper. Such a pious guy , Mashallah. Once married he will keep his gaze lower , you will not have to open threads on him ogling at other girls while walking with you outside.
He will always be home and will not go to clubs in the evenings with his buddies and leave you home to watch Star Plus or whatever desi channels you like.
If he is not into outdoor activities he would like to help you with indoor activities like cooking , cleaning , dusting , moping , scrubbing floor , changing baby diapers etc.
If he is nice and gentle , he will always open doors for you which so many women complain about that their husbands do not.
If if is not into Alcohol , he will not come home drunk and beat you every evening,
If you do not want to spend rest of your life with such a nice guy then it is your God given choice , look somewhere else please.

39

Re: is this normal?

It's easy for him to "respect" your opinion now since you two aren't married. With this particular guy, I see 2 things having the potential to become a huge issue in the future..

1) The "anti-Indian" thing.....since you yourself do not discriminate against a certain race (in this case Indians).....what about your kids? Would you be ok with your having a father who's racist towards Indians? What will you do when he makes anti-Indian comments in front of your kids?

2) The restaurant thing becomes a major issue after marriage b/c you two wil get invited as a couple out to places...by family, friends, co-workers. So with a guy like this, UNLESS he changes (and there is no guarantee he will).....you'll either have to go alone or not go at all. What about kids? Would this guy be ok with you taking kids to restaurants that he wouldn't go to?

When choosing a life partner, IMO not only do you have to consider how "issues" will effect you in the future.....when there are things you and the guy disagree on...you must also consider how those differences will effect the kids.

40

Re: is this normal?

ok this is something which doesn't seem too normal ..he truly has issues !