yesterday i went to my mom’s friends place.her married daughter was there
she is married for 3 years.
i wa s talking to her and she told me that when ever her husband fights,argue,not listen to her,does mistake ,coment on her on some of her weekkness,his parnets caring ,home chores,food taste vice versa always she try to do" sabar" (kisi ik ko jhukna parta hai .ager biwi bhi zaban chalaygi tu rishta hi kharaab hota hai…larai jhagra hoga)
she try not give him reply about it.otherwise bitterness will increase in couple if both argue on something..between couple one has to b quite or down in relation to make it good.
if u both try to give remarks or anything …your relation will b turning bad etc
"my simpel point is why always wife does sabar why not hubby "
varies from person to person but generally we always see 'bari boorhi' advising girls that 'aurat ko sabr karna parta hai' .. maybe most of the girls grow up listening to this 'solution' all their life and practice it too when needed..
Alfa omega in a relationship is communication. U need to tell ur partner what u feel, be it husband or wife. Marriage life is about giving and taking. In the long term the woman will be burned out and depressed if she supress her wishes just to please her husband, or avoid a fight.
Yeh bat alag hai how u tell your view. Larai jagra kerne ke bagae insan vohi bat pyar se bhi keh sakta hai.
yesterday i went to my mom's friends place.her married daughter was there
she is married for 3 years.
i wa s talking to her and she told me that when ever her husband fights,argue,not listen to her,does mistake ,coment on her on some of her weekkness,his parnets caring ,home chores,food taste vice versa always she try to do" sabar" (kisi ik ko jhukna parta hai .ager biwi bhi zaban chalaygi tu rishta hi kharaab hota hai...larai jhagra hoga)
she try not give him reply about it.otherwise bitterness will increase in couple if both argue on something..between couple one has to b quite or down in relation to make it good.
if u both try to give remarks or anything ...your relation will b turning bad etc
"my simpel point is why always wife does sabar why not hubby "
well as others also said the right point that it varies from person to person. every man is not the same one and not every man is cruel like that. yes in most of the places we see women in such a horrible situation of brutality but all women and all men are not the same one.
nor all people are bad ones.
moreover, in many cases women themselves do brutality on their same gender by inflaming hubbiz against wife and hubbiz are also ignorant enough to accept every false statement of his mother and sisters.
so, thats why this happens.
but in most cases women are largely involved in inflaming situation against their own gender.
yesterday i went to my mom's friends place.her married daughter was there
she is married for 3 years.
i wa s talking to her and she told me that when ever her husband fights,argue,not listen to her,does mistake ,coment on her on some of her weekkness,his parnets caring ,home chores,food taste vice versa always she try to do" sabar" (kisi ik ko jhukna parta hai .ager biwi bhi zaban chalaygi tu rishta hi kharaab hota hai...larai jhagra hoga)
she try not give him reply about it.otherwise bitterness will increase in couple if both argue on something..between couple one has to b quite or down in relation to make it good.
if u both try to give remarks or anything ...your relation will b turning bad etc
"my simpel point is why always wife does sabar why not hubby "
She is married to a whiner. we need more information to provide some plan of action for her to follow otherwise we can just Pray that Allah bring her husband to right path and turn him into a nice , caring and sensitive guy.
Dear All I would agree with Suhaina it is always the larki who has to consume all and remain firm in her lehja with in laws and husband but if husband and wife are not communicating with one another then here in lies the problem- someone very dear gave me advice that one always reflects on- ghar minutes me toot jaa tha hai magar ghar banaane me puri zindagi lag ja thi hai....quite provoking eh??? I wish all women who are married great luck in their marriages masghallah it is such a beautiful thing but if you are with one who does not reciprocate and respect u then its a very sad thing- make dua to Allah swt for love , respect and happiness and also for those people still single out there!!!
From the beginning the husband and wife should foster a mutual understanding and develop a relationship where they should both listen to eachother. If girls grow up with people whispering in their ear that girls should keep quiet and have sabr, then those girls will not dream of expressing their views to their husband and instead will grow more and more frustrated and unhappy.
this is just one side of the story... it could be that the hubby is doing much more sabar... with his wife telling her household 'dukhray' to everyone :D
yeh not all men are the same but often either u or ur husband will get very angry and will start yelling. at that point one person should not yell otherwise the problems will just escalate. sometimes it will be him yelling, sometimes it will be u. after the person cools down u should have a mature conversation. the wife doesnt always have to do the sabr. i always yell at my husband about him leaving his clothes lying around the house. he shuts up and doesnt say anything until i cool down. so there has to be a balance.
we can't judge anybody's marriage based on what we see from outside, there is way more than 'eye' can see or 'ear' can hear, seriously some ppl who I thought had the best of everything had issues just like everyother marriage. lakin I guess when 'bari boorhi' say larki/aurat ko sabar karna parta hai tu that is actually saying that women are genealy more flexible than men.
Well just like all of us no marriage is created/is equal. It is about balance, but we do have to agree that some ppl, depending on their nature, are harder to live with.
Have I confused you guys :( I hope not.
i think the issue is not that why husband is not being patient or something.if all the whining was done by the wife,people would say that why is not the husband answering back and why is he sabir.its a good strategy to be quiet when other person is yelling bcuz nothing can sorted out by yelling matches.but in this case wife should tell him afterwards to be kind and nice to her.over a period of time,i hope that change will come.