See this is the thing that I always think about.
Call it being an ABCD but I have never agreed with that idea that a newlywed marriage should have kids right away to "solidify" the relationship. While I understand that reason (that in normal circumstances, a man who loves hiw wife will love her more after she has a child), getting pregnant so soon without even knowing if your relationship is a "normaL" one or not....it seems like such a gigantic risk.
Yup
Re: Is this common with pakistani women?
I think when a couple decides to have a baby it opens a new chapter in their life, and things do change (like financial responsibilites etc)...but respect shouldn't be one of them...he should respect you to began with! And personally speaking..I wouldn't want a baby right away...I'd rather spend some time to get to know the person I married one on one.
Re: Is this common with pakistani women?
I think that after the wife is preggers...the love, respect and chemistry...no doubt gets deeper because the guy knows that she is bearing all this due to "their" child...obviouslyy kids make the relationship strong...but this doesnot apply that without them...theres no respect or love...its just that the bond b/w husband n wife gets stronger with children... in most of the cases :)
Re: Is this common with pakistani women?
what BS. Then again the girl did get married at 18 and this is Michigan......
Re: Is this common with pakistani women?
I think part of the reason people are pressured to have children right away is also somewhat to 'prove' their fertility
Re: Is this common with pakistani women?
disagree
:k: Exactly. What about the woman herself?? She is a wife first & a mother later.
:k:
Re: Is this common with pakistani women?
When a women gets pregnant, you care more, you become more serious, more concerned, careful.
I think respect in this case is being mistaken for the word "care".
Or I guess....when she gives birth, you hold her in greater esteem for giving birth to your child and hence your respect for her increases. Therefore, you respect her more.
So.... forget about what I said initially.
Re: Is this common with pakistani women?
i've heard this too, but it all depends on the family.
my sister got married and is finally pregnant after 2.5 years of her marriage. she did not even try for a baby before because she wanted to enjoy the independent part of her life.
i think its very important that couples enjoy their lives in start without the parenthood which is without a doubt a tough thing.
my cousin got married in dec and is trying for a baby so that her husband would be in her trap.
i dont think respect and love should work this way.
See this is the thing that I always think about.
Call it being an ABCD but I have never agreed with that idea that a newlywed marriage should have kids right away to "solidify" the relationship. While I understand that reason (that in normal circumstances, a man who loves hiw wife will love her more after she has a child), getting pregnant so soon without even knowing if your relationship is a "normaL" one or not....it seems like such a gigantic risk.
agree. everyone forgets how hormonal women can get during pregnancy. i know of someone whose husband insisted that they get pregnant right away, and she did, not that she had much choice in the matter, and this was against her mother's wishes as well. anyways, fast forward a few months later, and the husband is complaining to his saas that please talk to your daughter, she gets very chirchari and doesn't listen to me etc etc. and all the saas said was i told you so to let some time pass before you decide to get pregnant. the first impressions are everything. now for the rest of his life the husband's going to think his wife's an irritable person when the reality is it's just the hormones talking. if some time had passed, when the new couple had gotten the chance to figure out each other's personalities, even if the wife turned out to be a major b!tch, he would atleast not complain and think this is what his new wife is like ultimately.
Khumar-- you are absolutely hands on right.. i got pregnant a week after our wedding and one thing that I think me and hubby both understand is that we did not get enough time for ourselves to get to know each other at a deeper level. I was always sick with morning sickness the first couple of weeks and towards the end of my pregnancy I was always tired so my poor hubby was always stuck at home with me.. On a advantage level we have Masallah a beautiful daughter that makes our day brighter everyday. She is the love of our life.
Re: Is this common with pakistani women?
atleast she could put her mind to ease now that she knows he ain’t shooting blanks. 
Re: Is this common with pakistani women?
^ u new or a returning member?
Re: Is this common with pakistani women?
"I was always tired so my poor hubby was always stuck at home with me.."
koi **EHSAAN **nahi ker raha tha wo tum per