is this an overreaction ?

[nadz123]

nadz...chill babe, its not a big deal, but I can totally understand how these kind of thing can put one in a bad mood esp during pregnancy. You are not over-reacting, your are just being too moody...but as a MIL I think it would have been nice(since she know you are pregnant) and got 2-3 lawn suits anyways..but hey life is much easier without expectations, esp from INLAWS...may be she is thunking you are pregnant and thats why she is not getting you any clothes 'ke kiya faida', take a deep breath and calm down..

well, last i heard they had got me 2, obv i didnt ask for 2, but hey am i meant to be jumping up and down because i should be happy its not just 1.

[MIAinVA]

Re: is this an overreaction ?

Oho, becharay lain tau museebat na lein tau museebat..... hormones acting up :) Chill nadz, don't read too much into little things..... they know their son's taste, they know what to get for him..... they don't know what you like and dislike..... what if you don't like what they send. Think about it putting yourself in their shoes.

If you need clothes, ask your mum and next time when your MIL or SIL ask if you want something, say jo aap ki marzi ho bhijwa dein, mujhe achaa laggay ga agar aap mujhay pyar sai kuch bhijwa dein..... apnaiyat dikhaao, tau wapis apnaaiyat milay gi.

[nadz123]

Re: is this an overreaction ?

nah, its not that i want clothes seriously, i swear. my husband can get them for me, lol from here. or i can get them myself. it was the fact that the SIL asked me i directky kay tumhe to kuch nahi chaiye, yeh ok we have a good relationship, but not that close, at the end of the day shes still my inlaws.

[MIAinVA]

Re: is this an overreaction ?

you have to develop that relationship slowly.... it took me 3 years :)

[Gemini_the_Great]

at the end of the day shes still my inlaws.

with a mentality like this, you will never have a good relationship with your in laws!

[redvelvet]

@nadz123

my annoyance is at

a- why my SIL had to say tumhein to kuch nahi chaiye na....expecting a no, is how it looks to me, and they didnt ask my husband thye were automatically sending him trousers and shirts.

Give the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes we so quickly say things without thinking...doesn't necessarily mean that the intention behind them is wrong. If she really hated you...she wouldn't even bother asking...she wouldn't take the chance that you might make a request. And she wouldn't have bought two lawn suits for you...if she really disliked you. They're more comfortable with your husband....after all that's his mom and sister. With your immediate family....you know them so well...that you often times don't have to bother with formalities of asking "So, do you want something?". When I'm out shopping, I may get something for my mom or sister (without asking them).....because I already have an idea of what they'd want or need.

b- if they can tailor make his suit, why cant they give my kapre to tailor..after all whose gna sow it here, i need to wear it now as i need it now.

Maybe when your SIL asked you if you want the clothes sewn or in the form of open cloth..........SHE was thinking about how she may not get your size right due to the pregnancy. You're gonna have the baby...your weight will fluctuate...so perhaps she was just being practical about the matter. And don't put all the blame upon her.....when YOU YOURSELF....told her that you want "open cloth" after she had given you the option of either having it sewn or not sewn. If she had absolutely no desire to give your clothes to the tailor.......she wouldn't give you the option of getting them stitched.

i dnt care if they hadnt asked for their son, but the fact that theyr ang twice for him, and only asked me once, probly just cos they had to....and then not to even bother sowing it....when they CAN...to me it seems they dnt care much.

YOU YOURSELF are not close to your in-laws...and you've mentioned that in your previous threads. In that case...it shouldn't matter to you if they only rang once for you n twice for the hubby....considering your none too keen on having a conversation with them in the first place. Why get so "picky" about the number of phone calls only when it deals with what materialistic thing you can get out of it. Again, you said you wanted the clothes unstitched...the SIL had given you the option of getting them sewn. **And if you KNEW that nobody would sew them for you in England....then why bother telling them** to get you open cloth. You can't give your own responses...and then penalize people for acting on them. *It's like a lose-lose situation....damned if they do...damned if they don't. * its not about the clothessss, its about the wya it seems as if they aint bothered about me. just their son.

*What if they got your clothes stitched by the tailors...........and the style is not to your liking........or the measurements are way off.......(considering your pregnant)......and then you get upset that you can't even wear them and have to undo the stitching and alter everything. At least with an open cloth...you can get the clothes sewn according to your measurements AFTER having the baby...so that they are of more use. * i could be overreacting, because i tend to take even lil things personally.

*Pick and choose your battles...it's not healthy to be so stressed when you're preggers...it's not good for your marriage. You could have also requested stitched clothes after having the baby...and losing the weight. That could have been convenient as well. Sometimes you rush to get worked up...and realize that waiting for something would have more advantages in the long run. * GLUM GLUM OH GLUM..

oh and then hubby spoke later, and he then said to me he asked them where they were at the time and they were in a clothes shop and they mustve told him about my suit i asekd for, and he saidohuu tumne bi lawn kay suits mangwai,,he was joking, but it made me think they had told him that she asked for these suits`....maybe not in a nice way then?

You don't know for sure that they mentioned you in a "not nice way." Maybe they were in a rush and couldn't talk...so they told your husband that they're busy getting your clothes stitched. All assumptions.

I DUNO i think too much as well.

.

[AmorAmor]

Re: is this an overreaction ?

I think you mean sew, not sow.

Anyway, you are definitely over thinking this. I don't mean to be rude but a lot of your posts are based around mundane things that you think too much about.

Imagine if I'm talking to you in English and I said 'you don't need anything do you?'
It can't really be taken to be in a nasty way, so why would you think it's meant maliciously if it's spoken in Urdu? And in any case the clothes are being sent over for you, you explained that you are pregnant so don't want them sewn - they've respected your wishes. Something tells me that if they had insisted on having the clothes sewn for you even though you had explained that you are pregnant etc you would have still complained.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: is this an overreaction ?

1. Your hormones are jumping.

2. You did marry a pakistani boy who is a typical chamcaa by the sounds of it, so don't be surprised if his mom and sisters act the way they do.

3. We all need to quit telling each other to be Allah mian ki gayin and actually shock EXPECT our in-laws to treat us nicely. She didn't have to tell nadz "You don't really need any clothes, do you?"...she could have said it in a dozen nicer ways. Or better yet, don't ask, you stupid *****, just send her some kapra and tell her "I know you said you didn't want anything, but I saw this lovely print and thought of you and I just had to get it for you. I hope you like it, and I think you'll look pretty in it".

How hard is it for desi girls to be civil????

[Sara516]

Re: is this an overreaction ?

Becharay hormones

[nadz123]

1. Your hormones are jumping.

2. You did marry a pakistani boy who is a typical chamcaa by the sounds of it, so don't be surprised if his mom and sisters act the way they do.

3. We all need to quit telling each other to be Allah mian ki gayin and actually shock EXPECT our in-laws to treat us nicely. She didn't have to tell nadz "You don't really need any clothes, do you?"...she could have said it in a dozen nicer ways. Or better yet, don't ask, you stupid *****, just send her some kapra and tell her "I know you said you didn't want anything, but I saw this lovely print and thought of you and I just had to get it for you. I hope you like it, and I think you'll look pretty in it".

How hard is it for desi girls to be civil????

I agree with point 3. however it wasnt the MIL who said tumhe to kuch nahi chaiye na,,,she already asked if i wanted something, thing is, i now dont know of they wouldve sent something anyway or not since ive already asked. in a way i shouldnt have asked, just to see if they sent something. they usually do,even when i was not married, i think she used to sent ek suit whoever came for me and mum and sometimes sisters. obv now they may have also sent it anyway. it was the SIL who said tumhe to kcuh nahi chaiye, maybe to reconform as RV said what i said to her mum. dunno if they wouldve sent something anyway now. too late.