Re: is this all?
That too
Re: is this all?
there's a reason people hesitate to talk about their real life issue here, it gets thrown back in their faces because some really sick trolls on this forum use these real problems to embarrass and demean them in future threads. such a shame and they call themselves 'educated'! i call them parhay likhay jahil, shame on them, they know who they are.
Re: is this all?
good observations everyone, I can relate to much that has been said i.e. personal info thrown into one's face. The most interesting PM I received on this site was from someone who said that he hoped my children who passed away were in hell, pretty classy I must say.
anyways, I would just encourage people to post other things, maybe if they are not sure about posting their own stuff, about other observations or things, we can be a resource for each other if we try.
its not just a question of age, but someone who was a member here, a good yet estranged friend was among those selfless type of people who gave up a lot for the sake of family, yet was being forced to marry against his will, and the question was at what point do the sacrifices end, do people even recognize the sacrifice or they just get used to the individual always putting others wishes and whims first. I know he never asked it here, sometimes i wish I had asked it on his behalf so he could read and get feedback of what ppl were thinking, luckily for once in his life he decided to do what felt right for him, even if it meant some family tensions due to saying no to a cousin etc.
Re: is this all?
^ thats such a good point about ur friend X2.
I've been wondering the same thing... not in regards to being forced into marriage with someone u dont like... but more about when someone selflessly does more than they are required to do most, if not all the time,... do people just end up taking them for granted? if the person stops to take a break from things.... are people quick to judge and call them lazy or uncaring? i dunno
i find, some people dont do much at all.. so if they do something little, its praised... and if they dont do anything, its just them being them.
Someone else, who goes out of their most times, if they stop for a break, its considered being lazy... but their day to day efforts mean jack all
Re: is this all?
And that is the predicament of the desi "self-righteous" and "chasskaa" culture.
Everybody needs everybody to understand things and that is the case across the board, not just in this forum.
The fact of the matter is if people were to keep their crap to themselves, like I do most of the time, this place would be as boring as oprah.
I mean who wouldn't want to read threads on masturbation, wedding nights, flirting, virginity losing contests, fiancé doing the deed and calling off the wedding and increasing boob size? Often times, such threads are made up... more so when they are tit-for-tat threads.
Put a moratorium on those threads and this place will be a ghost town!
Re: is this all?
You assume that people take GS seriously. I have yet to see any evidence of that.
there's a reason people hesitate to talk about their real life issue here, it gets thrown back in their faces because some really sick trolls on this forum use these real problems to embarrass and demean them in future threads. such a shame and they call themselves 'educated'! i call them parhay likhay jahil, shame on them, they know who they are.
oh boy, and when they do it in public that's worse. no class. no shame and karma is an itch!
You assume that people take GS seriously. I have yet to see any evidence of that.
this too.. but a handful do come here to find solutions to their problems because they have nowhere else to turn to.
Re: is this all?
[QUOTE]
The most interesting PM I received on this site was from someone who said that he hoped my children who passed away were in hell,
[/QUOTE]
Needless to say, there is no limit to sickness.
I read the threads and posts with interest and cant help but wonder if people worry about maintaining relationships with parents or siblings who may be miles away, raising good kids, how to help aging parents, or how to make a married life be great.
is our life and relationships really just about flirting, concerns about virginity, falling out of love, fiancee asking to do hanky panky.
Now I am not saying that these are not real concerns for many people, but am more than a little amused at the onslaught of these topics.
Is it about demographics of the forum, or about growing concerns, or something else?
is there more to life and relationships? of people, and of the forum?
just an open question to all participants. No judgements.
Paa Jee
Let the people have some fun. Life1 is not supposed to be like an office of marital counselor or jirga.
Re: is this all?
To be honest I think a lot of the silly posts on this forum are made by trolls. It is quite difficult to take some things seriously on here.
Then there are those who make a big issue out of small things - they can't see that there is a big world out there around them and there are people who have genuinely serious problems. They behave quite selfishly in my opinion. Maybe we should all try to thank Allah more for what we have rather than cry over silly little things.
And then as other posters have said, it is quite hard to speak about 'real' family problems because you have a persona on here and even though it is anonymous you don't really want to give too much away on a forum where you intend to keep on posting for the near future.
Re: is this all?
A couple of years ago if one was to opne such threads, one would have got much more sincere advice. Due to the sheer trolling which goes on here, it is hard to determine which are genuine problems/concerns and those which are opened for the sheer thrill factor.
It is a shame really. Like you say, there are a variety of members who have amazing advice to give and who could potentially use this to help. Personally, I find if I need advice or guidance I can blog and there are numerous people who I have added who will help me to the best of their ability.
Another thing. Like someone said above and something which you noted upon X2. Family is a very senstive topic. We are very protective of them and some people on GS do remember things which you may have wrote and use them later on to throw it back in your face.
It is unfortunate but I don't think this can be rectified.
Paa Jee
Let the people have some fun. Life1 is not supposed to be like an office of marital counselor or jirga.
To be honest I think a lot of the silly posts on this forum are made by trolls. It is quite difficult to take some things seriously on here. .
fun is great until it comes in the way of meaningful discussion. both can coexist.
Your limiting of an example of life1 not being a marital counselor indicates the very challenge I was referring to. is married life the only relationship that we have or only relationship we are striving for?
there can be fun posts on other relationships as well and I did not see those much. people can choose to do what they want as long as it is within guidelines. I am not stopping anyone, just was wondering out loud whether these are real issues or such a major part or because other issues are not being discussed for various reasons.
Now surely if people started horsing around in politics or religion the team there would not like it as it takes something away. I am inquiring directly from members do they see this recent trend as a real trend or just ppl horsing around and getting their jollies off.
direct feedback :)
Re: is this all?
X2, I think that the population here is younger, for the most part seeking rishtas, just married and/or just starting a family. So there is little of the more serious issues of elder-care and problem teens etc.
Also, its a big thing to post about personal issues. I have. And I've paid for this. Mostly because there are a very few "troll" types who ruin things for the rest. Mostly, I personally feel that te benefits and potential benefits of posting certain difficult situations far outweigh the negativity that the trolls cause. My husband gets concerned at times and really I cant blame him. But if I speak plainly and frankly and help even one person then its still worth the troll-troubles.
Trolls will pay their price one day for sure, esp those who have said those things to you. Surely, what goes around comes around.
And I thought you were the one person who were not effected by GS, and was able to keep her sanity.
Re: is this all?
Sorry to disappoint JK...but I take GS seriously, I give and take advice here seriously and take my friendships here seriously. So when there are those who wish death to children or death to anyone, or when someone wishes bad things for another then I wish for them the same thing 100-fold in return. Not funny at all some of the things that these trolls have said.
Re: is this all?
What's wrong with taking GS seriously?
Some time profiling is good, mama.
Some time generalizations is tool which comes handy.
What I am saying is some ppl are and will learn from doing actual life, They may not be very perceptive to advice we want to give them.
As good ppl, we can wait, facilitate their growth. Or some time, all we can do is provide cushion when we know they are heading into brick wall.
But that's all we can do.
So profiling and generalization is your friend.
But again those things can only used when someone is willing to be more vigilant/observant toward group they are dealing with.
You don't want to be lable some one and forget about them for the rest of your life. U lable them because they are case underprogress which need little less attention.
You pay attention to ppl who are preceptive, get done and check back on ppl with lables on :) to see if they are were you want them to be.
fun is great until it comes in the way of meaningful discussion. both can coexist.
Your limiting of an example of life1 not being a marital counselor indicates the very challenge I was referring to. is married life the only relationship that we have or only relationship we are striving for?
there can be fun posts on other relationships as well and I did not see those much. people can choose to do what they want as long as it is within guidelines. I am not stopping anyone, just was wondering out loud whether these are real issues or such a major part or because other issues are not being discussed for various reasons.
Now surely if people started horsing around in politics or religion the team there would not like it as it takes something away. I am inquiring directly from members do they see this recent trend as a real trend or just ppl horsing around and getting their jollies off.
direct feedback :)
Paa Jee
Forum participants make what a forum is. Even if there arefew people who would want to have a meaningful discussion but does walk that line, meaningful discussion will not take place.
I mean, tis one forum i really enjoy and have fun in, but a few times that i have tried to give honest opinion, lot of crap was thrown at me, like i am cheating on wife and blah blah
Paa Jee
Forum participants make what a forum is. Even if there arefew people who would want to have a meaningful discussion but does walk that line, meaningful discussion will not take place.
I mean, tis one forum i really enjoy and have fun in, but a few times that i have tried to give honest opinion, lot of crap was thrown at me,** like i am cheating on wife and blah blah**
And you were not?
ohhhhh ummmmm