Is this acceptable in a relationship?

Re: Is this acceptable in a relationship?

Thanks guys for the advice.

His visa status as far as I'm aware is ILR due to his long period of being a student in the UK previously. I maybe imagining it but that's what was mentioned previously. I have no real knowledge of the visa system, but I know my friend now feels she is being 'used' for the fact she is able to work due to education etc.

Nadz, I know what you mean about the bullying. At first I thought he must be under a lot of pressure due to his family. I did approach my friend with the fact maybe he was being 'forced' into the additional support. Unfortunately I was barking up the wrong tree. He sends the extra money to keep his sisters in the lifestyle of the rich and famous and blames it on his brother-in-laws and their lack of education (they cannot work in a high paid job so cannot afford it). And as for their education, they apparently need a good quality education as their 'mamu' has a good standard and it's essential for ristaas in the future.

When the ristaa happend I must admit I thought something wasn't right. The guy had plenty of cousins within the UK, however he said they wanted to marry him but he didn't want to marry them as they were not marriage material. Funny comment but hey, it was her kismet.

Decent, when my friend loses her job she ain't going to have the money to look after her home. She explained to him 4 months back that her wages were just about stretching to cover the bills and he offered her £75.00 (!!!!) towards the bills for the month. Eekkk.

Re: Is this acceptable in a relationship?

It's definitely NOT acceptable.

It's probably not the guys fault but the guys' families fault. They make too many demands of him and obviously they're pressuring him

Re: Is this acceptable in a relationship?

i guess the guy is jst generous / overly sweeet to his siblings , jst making his level best to help / support his family thts all

Re: Is this acceptable in a relationship?

The wife doesn't need to talk to her parents - she should sort out her Husband herself and stand up for her feelings! He does appear to be really generous but his family doesn't seem poor! If he has so much extra money I wish he would give it to charity or save it up towards the future for his kids or pay off the mortgage etc.

Everyone is selfish for themselves and those they love - which is what the Husband is clearly doing. At the end of the day, it is up to him though what he chooses to do with his money but he still needs to provide for his wife and pay the bills including the mortgage.

Is your friend giving her Husband all the extra money which he sends abroad? Because she doesn't need to give him any of her earnings.

Re: Is this acceptable in a relationship?

Seems like yet another overly exaggerated heap of mierda that married women discuss with their friends all the time. He must be supporting his family back in Pakistan - because he is a man and men are responsible for taking care of their family including their parents and siblings, and that must be making the woman feel less important, jealous and insecure. So she is multiplying her 'misery' and seeking attention and unnecessary emotional support from her friends. Personal business between a couple should be kept personal, and women don't seem to realize that. If her man is having financial difficulties, she should be sharing the load and helping him out instead of being an attention seeking drama queen. Jeez.

Re: Is this acceptable in a relationship?

He should Reduce the Amount of Money that is he used to Send...

This is a misery ...

Its very sad - how people can just start over spending when there is only one source of Income..

It Might be Hard - but ur friend need to talk it through