Re: is this a problem...
Its a problem if you want to make it and its not if you don't want to make it.
Re: is this a problem...
hmmmmm, well i dnt know really.
its the way they are, they dnt communicate like that, also they may be thinking my parents havent ask many questions either about the wedding either, di dnt know. its nothing to do with my husband and me. its the parents. but i have a habit that if his parents pxxx me off, i want to take it out on him. but who knows, i may also get peed off if they werent expecting or didnt want my parents there.....
haaaaaa
Re: is this a problem...
wow your fil and your mom are siblings right? I think they should have their own terms and relationship intact moreso because they are siblings first and you got married in their family afterwards. Misunderstandings grow due to communication gap. And since its their daughter getting married, and you aint in the house anymore, your Mamu and Mumani (this is what they are, right?) should make a call to your parents and invite them properly. Its only courtesy.
Re: is this a problem...
my husband keeps telling me thats its the same thing, me telling them dates or them telling them. i dont think so. husbands also annoying me by not thinking its an issue.
Re: is this a problem...
its a life partner's job to tell the other one whats appropriate. Anyway, when we love someone we just do what they want, regardless of whether they are wrong or right. Its called compromise and most of the marriages work depending on how much you are willing to put in effort and compromise.
Re: is this a problem...
its a life partner's job to tell the other one whats appropriate. Anyway, when we love someone we just do what they want, regardless of whether they are wrong or right. Its called compromise and most of the marriages work depending on how much you are willing to put in effort and compromise.
what do you mean....so hes telling me whats appropriate? or i tell him that what his parents doing by not telling dates clearly is appropriate.
Re: is this a problem...
u can just ask your parents if they are planning to go or not and if they plan to go tell ur MIL to let them know ur parents the dates and they will plan and get the tickets accordingly
and if ur parents dont plan to go (even tho i believe they shud go) tell ur hubby or mil they havent yet planned to come
Re: is this a problem...
I don't believe that they "should" go but i do believe that she "should" tell them the dates and move on.
Re: is this a problem...
what do you mean....so hes telling me whats appropriate? or i tell him that what his parents doing by not telling dates clearly is appropriate.
actually you are on the right this time, IMO. But seeing it all coming from your husband, I think you would be more interested in NOT ruining your relationship with your husband on family issues like these. You are on the right in the ideal situation, where people bother courtesy to their relatives, like if your daughter or son is getting married, obviously you would personally invite atleast your immediate relatives, the siblings. So in the ideal situation, your FIL and MIL should have recognized it as a family courtesy to invite their sister/SIL them selves. Such moves beget love. But we definitely do not know the nature of relationship between your Mamu Mumani and your Mom and Dad. So, the point is, now that you are married in their family, they somehow (you may not acknowledge, not like to admit) happen to be your family now. So if your husband thinks its appropriate, (maybe he thinks that now you being his wife and the bahu of their family is a representative of them in person, and that its not that nice to by pass you and approach them (your parents) on their own). Well whatever in his hearts of hearts be, it doesnt matter much if you simply convey the wedding dates to your parents and if they can manage, tell your husband. If not, obviously everyone has their own life.
Re: is this a problem...
hmmmmm, well i dnt know really.
its the way they are, they dnt communicate like that, also they may be thinking my parents havent ask many questions either about the wedding either, di dnt know. its nothing to do with my husband and me. its the parents. but i have a habit that if his parents pxxx me off, i want to take it out on him. but who knows, i may also get peed off if they werent expecting or didnt want my parents there.....
haaaaaa
Why aren't your parents, mum especially (who I believe is a real Phupo of your SIL) calling them up and inquiring about that wedding? She should naturally be interested in the wedding of her niece rather than just looking to call up her daughter's inlaws as a some sort of cold, formal duty.
Re: is this a problem...
nadz stop beinf a fob gal
Re: is this a problem...
hmmmm, i dnt know the issue, they are not cold clever type of people, not that i think so since ive been with them, but they are not as comunicative, but they just have annoying selfish habits, which they themselves wont think so.
thing is my other cousins, 2 of them , recently got married in the last month, so maybe they were preoccupied with that, cos they are their cosuisns too....same family.
most of all is my husband frustrating me, who thinks its no big deal.
Re: is this a problem...
nadz stop beinf a fob gal
wats that,
Re: is this a problem...
I find it intetesting that u just talked about how you like to take inlaws.frustration out on husband and how u feel irritated with them if the invitation is not a sincete one...but youve said nothing about what ull do to resolve matters.....whereas a mature woman/wife/mother would have done so. I think im now finally feeling so annoyed and disgusted with.the consistent and persistent lack of maturity.....that im taking a break from your threads. If there has been any personal growth...its hard to feel that from the threads. After a while they induce a sort of mental nausea...for which I am at fault since I chose to read them.
Re: is this a problem...
I find it intetesting that u just talked about how you like to take inlaws.frustration out on husband and how u feel irritated with them if the invitation is not a sincete one...but youve said nothing about what ull do to resolve matters.....whereas a mature woman/wife/mother would have done so. I think im now finally feeling so annoyed and disgusted with.the consistent and persistent lack of maturity.....that im taking a break from your threads. If there has been any personal growth...its hard to feel that from the threads. After a while they induce a sort of mental nausea...for which I am at fault since I chose to read them.
right, so resolve..how.
i said i feel like taking it out on him, becasue he never seems to understand, thinks its no issue, while i do.
Re: is this a problem...
^^ Honestly there is no issue. How to resolve this "no issue" is by telling your parents the freaking dates for the marriage.
Re: is this a problem...
give him 'space' for God's sake
right, so resolve..how.
i said i feel like taking it out on him, becasue he never seems to understand, thinks its no issue, while i do.
Re: is this a problem...
nadz123: any update?