I’m thinking about doing the mehndi function in a hall, the nikaah at the mosque, and then a big reception in a hall either that night or the next night. So the reception would serve as my ruksati as well as the walima. Has anyone been to a Pakistani wedding like this? I have been to weddings where they do the nikaah and walima all in one night with different outfits, but I wouldn’t be changing my clothes.
I’m in Canada and we would end up saving a few thousand but do you think I would regret not having the shaadi function? Did you and your guests enjoy yours? I usually find the mehndi or walima to be more fun…Please advise!
Interesting that you mention this, as I was talking about this to fam over the weekend. I have been to one wedding where they did that, but yes they changed clothes half-way. I have heard that some people do, do baraat and walima together, so they have all the baraat bit & rasms when the grooms side come, and have a ruksati bit at the end, but as the costs are split between both sides, the dinner bit serves both purposes? Personally, as much as I love the 2 separate days thing, atm I am quite liking the small nikkah at home/masjid and then just a walima, although I am sure it will change when the time comes.
Yes, the only issue you want to think about is that you don't regret it after!
Actually, I am getting married in March in Canada, and doing it this way. We are having our nikkah in the masjid on Friday, then we are having a mehndi on Saturday, and a joint reception on Sunday. So the reception will be both the barat and valima.
oh yah, Im not changing clothes at the reception. I have an outfit (gharara) for my nikkah, which is semi-formal, then my mehndi suit, and I have a lengha, which is formal for my reception.
Actually, I am getting married in March in Canada, and doing it this way. We are having our nikkah in the masjid on Friday, then we are having a mehndi on Saturday, and a joint reception on Sunday. So the reception will be both the barat and valima.
Saimab will you do a lunch/dinner after the nikaah as well?
I mentioned this idea to my mom, but we haven't decided yet. I went to a wedding a few weeks ago in Toronto, where the the family had spent alot of money on the baraat but most of the guests had left after dinner and didn't stay for most of the event
So this way I'm hoping the night will have more of a party atmosphere so everyone enjoys it. I'm just a little worried that other people will think we're being cheap...but people will always find some reason to complain. And I know what you mean about regrets. My mom keeps asking me if I'm sure I want to do it this way...but it seems like such a waste to have a seperate function.
Yes, i will be having a dinner after the nikkah, however it wont be a formal event. Its just our family and close friends (from both sides). Sometimes I think that I may regret it, but then I realize that Im still having the wedding I want, and my reception is going to be very big, and we are still doing all the rasms, and having a party, it will just be condensed into one day. And this way, I can spend more money on the details as well, where as if I was having mehndi/bharat separate from my fiance, I wouldnt be able to spend as much money on all the little details. So it evens out in the end. Just think about what you want for your day, and dont worry about what other people are going to think...cause even if you had a bharat, and you did it in a big castle with the best food and best service, people would still think of things to complain about...thats just the nature of our people! You have to feel comfortable with what you are doing...your heart has to be into it. This is what I wanted, and this is what my fiance wanted as well, and my parents backed me up, because my brother got married this way as well, but there were some issues from my in-laws side, but as soon as they saw how much money they were going to save (thousands of dollars), they agreed to it.
Saimab will you do a lunch/dinner after the nikaah as well?
I mentioned this idea to my mom, but we haven't decided yet. I went to a wedding a few weeks ago in Toronto, where the the family had spent alot of money on the baraat but most of the guests had left after dinner and didn't stay for most of the event
So this way I'm hoping the night will have more of a party atmosphere so everyone enjoys it. I'm just a little worried that other people will think we're being cheap...but people will always find some reason to complain. And I know what you mean about regrets. My mom keeps asking me if I'm sure I want to do it this way...but it seems like such a waste to have a seperate function.
I think its a great idea both for guests and the families involved..
very true
i am wondering will it work for me ?
i stay in uae but going pakistan for my wedding .. have u guys ever been to this kind of a wedd in pak ?? suggest something ?? i know the ppl of pakistan they always say bad things …
i wanna sav some money of my fiance bz he is arranging EVERYTHING (gold,hall,clothes etc etc) for our wedding i wanna release some of his burden
I think this trend is fine for Canada/ USa but if you will do somethin like this in Pakistan, Uff you have no idea how much ppl will brag and for the rest of ur life your parents wod have to hear stuff. So its better if you follow the regular trend of Barat and Valima in Pakistan.
how come ur fiance is arranging everything?? I mean what abt the baraat venue? I think this is from girls side baki toh sub is from de guys side and it is hard on them, no doubt.
most of the weddings over here (Ireland) there is usually a mehndi, a wedding day and then walima.
the nikkah and rukhsati usually happen on the "wedding day" which is usually a girls side event. ive never been to a seperate nikkah ceremony so far. i like to stick to 3 main events, its a cost saver and thats how ive seen it happen mostly :D
i think u can do things differently in pakistan becos of the disposable RS. (to some extent) so a few other functions here and there dont matter. but wen ur abroad and spending thousands of €,£ ans $ u need to cut a few corners :D
It's definitely possible. I think it is important to have people witness your nikkah, so as long as that is an option at the mosque, it sounds like a good idea.
its a great idea.... a great one that I wanted but just knew it would not happen do to distance logistics. Maybe if my family and his family lived closer together or even from the same community...it would have been easier to convince everyone that this was a great idea.
In the end picking location is what killed it. Both sides were concerned that important people would not be able to make it if it was one place or the other.
Another issue we had is that my family is on the conservative side and my in laws are not..... having one reception ..both sides would be compromising alot and in the end no one truly happy. But having two separate events, each family gets to have/organize the event the way THEY want to and not feel like they are stepping on any toes.
But my personal opinion: if I could have had had it this way........i would have definitely not regretted it.
ya u r right hunnie it cant be possible in pakistan..
barat function is from dulhan side offcourse i was talking about valima bari and all.Anyway thank u so much u r helpin me alot
hi sugar
finally someone talking about saving money on weddings at this platform
this idea is very good and parallel to islamic wedding .i attended 2 weddings with biggggggggggggg gap
1..my friend's wedding in 2004 sat night was combined mehndi and sunday morning nikah+RUKHSATI with few people and evening was grand walima
2.last month with mayon and mehndi combined,next day Saturday... Nikah in mosque+RUKHSATI
nd sunday walima.
I'm thinking about doing the mehndi function in a hall, the nikaah at the mosque, and then a big reception in a hall either that night or the next night. So the reception would serve as my ruksati as well as the walima. Has anyone been to a Pakistani wedding like this? I have been to weddings where they do the nikaah and walima all in one night with different outfits, but I wouldn't be changing my clothes.
I'm in Canada and we would end up saving a few thousand but do you think I would regret not having the shaadi function? Did you and your guests enjoy yours? I usually find the mehndi or walima to be more fun...Please advise!
