i just can’t take it … my husband has been extremely rude and carless towards me. i am multitasking , back in school, a mom, wife and take care of everything that needs to be done for the household. i am just tried of alway being the one to compromise and do thing for others happiness.
i have been sick lately from depression and physically not feeling well either. but he just doesn’t seem to care, all he care for is all his work is done. i am ashamed to say anything about my depression to him because he makes me feel that i am a drama queen and alway pretend to be sick around him to get his attention. it just makes me extremely sad that y don’t man ever be supportive. when my husband is sick i am care for him 24/7 and now that i am not feeling well i can just deal with it. it makes me think y did i ever got marriage to be miserable, and unhappy in life , to not ever have anyone to listen to me… when ever i try to talk to him he say" i am busy, and have other important things to do, tumha kia problem ho skati ha… you r one of the lucky ladies that get to stay home"
i am sry is i am all over the place but just extreme frustrated on how i am never heard in my relationship?
Have you been to see a doctor yet for your depression? Do you have a diagnosis? Before you can strengthen your marriage you need to work on yourself first. Please go see your doctor and get in touch with a qualified/well referred counselor. It will be much easier for you to communicate and break through to husband if you are emotionally stable yourself.
I am sorry to hear that. This problem is more common than you think. You have talked to him but his response was not what you wished for. I suggest talking again using "we" rather than "I" and saying that we as a couple need to work on our relationship. Besides that, try to find more things for yourself to do such as reading books, watching Tv etc in your spare time. Try to dress up and look good ( for yourself). And don't act clingy. This new found confidence should give your husband something to wonder about. If not, it will surely help you in the long run. Prayers and hugs for you!
yes, your marriage is going to survive this....if you want it to.
it will be hard work and in the beginning it will feel like you are doing all of it.
it sounds like you are upset because you are not getting the level of compassion and understanding that you expected from your husband.
do you have another support system that you can rely on? is your family nearby? can you ask them for some help with your chores so that you can have some time for yourself?
are you religious (meaning do you practice namaz with regularity)?
if yes then there are a number of duas that you can add to your ritual that may bring peace. try to use your namaz as an opportunity to share with Allah all your grievances. hand your troubles over to Him and ask Him to help you find your way.
if no, then consider giving it a try and call it meditation.
Khatti and Muzna have said what I was going to say...I think you have some work cut out for you and if you want your marriage to survive...itni jaldi haar mat mano.
These things can happen in any marriage, and yes, your marriage can survive if you show patience and empathy. Have you tried finding out whether something is bothering your husband? There have been instances in my marriage, when my hubby would come tired and stressed out from work and took it out on me. Obviously, I don't take it well when I make every effort to do my part and yet I get to hear: "Oh, you didn't iron this particular shirt!!!! You spent today cleaning, doing laundry and cooking? How long does that take?"
Address the problem. Ask him if it's something about you that is bothering him and what you can do to change it.
Let him know that you are not in a good state of mind because of his rude manner, it is not healthy for both of you and your relationship so he should help you in creating a positive environment for your home, yourselves and the kids.
If that does not help, try involving an elder. Someone reasonable and someone he would listen to.
