The reason I say it might tear the family apart is because as I said, living together was a huge factor for my mother in law when she chose me. She was estatic that she had found a girl that was not only willing but insisting on living together. My husband is so close to his family I dont want them to think because hes married ive taken him away from them.
I tried explaining to him that with everything thats happened, i couldnt handle another big change, he just simply said i’d have to deal with it. I feel as if somethings happened but hes not telling me about it, I dont know how to get him to share his feelings. He says he wants to start looking for houses now and I think he means move in before his sisters wedding. She has been like a big sister to me and I know this is gonna effect our realtionship. My mother in law is gonna feel like shes lost 3 kids in the space of a few months.
I dont think I’m ready to move out and be independent, my husband baing a doctor is out of the house a lot too, night shifts, travelling for conventions, lectures etc so to him it wont be any different but I will be home alone when he is not here. I’m working part time with my father in law until I continue my studies next year and it is so much easier to deal with the business living under the same roof. I feel moving out might affect mine and dads relationship too. I do spent a lot of time with my inlaws, but I always give my husband time. Infact my inlaws sometimes have to encourage me to spend more time with him. Mashallah we are a very big family, 4 of the kids are away at boarding school during term time, so its not like I’m always busy with them or ignore my husband in anway. Well he’s never complained about me spending time with them so i wouldnt think that is the reason. We have family time and then we have alone time. i dont think its jealousy or I hope it isnt.
As far as starting a family goes, he’s made it clear he doenst want children for another 3-4 years. Until hes established work wise and can cut down on working hours etc. Financially allhamdulilah he is not under any strain, my inlaws have made it clear they dont need him to support them. The family business covers all household costs so what my husband makes literally goes straight into his pocket. He uses his money wisely and invests it in different ares so moving out would probably be more of a strain than living with them.
I feel they might not believe my husband when he says its his idea, you know when they say a wife is like an underdog? she’ll get the husband to do what she wants without being the bad guy?
u know what, try approaching him when he is calm and in a better mood. Then try and discuss your feelings and tell him how you feel, exactly what you are mentioning here on this forum. Try to prevent arguments. Get him to listen to your side of the story, and then have him tell you his side of the story. I am sure the two of you can reach some sort of compromise.