One simple question. God forbid , you get physically handicapped, you still love him , but you do not make him happy anymore, so he wants to get out of the relationship when you need him more now because of your handicap. Would you happily let him get out of this relationship ?it was never about me giving the permission. Its when my partner feels they are no longer happy with me. And in such a case, we want each other to know the decisions are not to bring on guilt or shame. I know your answer will be yes I would , but it is easier said then done. Relationships are much more than keeping each other happy all the time, most of the time. Relationships are more complex than that. Relationships are very simple things. We insist on complicating our lives. What about when you both are so old when the priority changes from keeping each other happy to giving each other companyWe grow together. By your questions, I feel you think none of us want to work on our relationship and the minute we get unhappy, we walk out...! ? What are your plans for that period of life. I am trying to understand another perspective on relationships .I've explained below I am not trying to put you on the spot. Your viewpoint has intrigued me that is why I am trying to understand . If you get offended in any manner my apologies in advance.I do appreciate that. God bless.
First, I am not offended at all but thank you for considering that.
When I say 'keep happy' I don't mean every single second of every single day. We're humans, we have bad days, bad weeks, sometimes we don't snap out of it for quite sometime. That in no way implies that since we are having a bad week and if we both are slightly unhappy, that we move on and find other partners. My point was about a situation when one or both partners feel, over a period of time, that no matter how hard they try, they cannot make this relationship work. If they are than unhappy -- we move on.
If one is handicapped, there is no guarantee the other will automatically become unhappy?? Our simple concept does not force the literal concept of 'happiness'. Its simply the fact that we both will always try to make things work. Like i mentioned, "we want to share this for as long as we live". So we don't take this concept as an easy, non guilty way out by any means. Its simply a comfort that we have not for our own sake but for the sake of the other person -- you can't make your partner happy if you're not happy with him/her.
Easier said than done? We've been together for 6 years, we've had our fair share of problems and 'unhappy moments' that we have very well overcome. We both have excellent communication and the kind of relationship most people find enviously amusing.
We do everything to be together because more than love, we share 'like'. Sometimes we have a bad day and don't exactly 'love' the other person. On those days we think of how much we 'like' them. Thats when their character, their values, how much you respect them kicks in. Our relationship is bigger and better than love. It's not as weak as love alone. And because of that, we have always made our relationship work through the toughest of times. We're fighters for our own cause but only as long as we know there is one.
I hope that answers your questions.