as you know, I am currently talking to cousin as friends and we are getting along fine and just talking generally about anything and everything. So far its been rosy. For me however, I was finding it hard to develop an understanding with him because I felt like I didn’t know him and was just texting a stranger over the net.
I asked my other really close to cousin whether I should ring and just speak to him for a few seconds to gage him, work out his tone, style of speaking etc etc. She said that she didn’t feel it was right but if i wanted to then it was up to me.
I planned not to but then I had some free time and so did he and I asked him whether I could ring him. He said ok..sure not a problem. We spoke for like 1 minute and 30 seconds. Basically …how am I /him..how family is and what we were doing. General chit chat. I also asked him why i should belive that he won’t go telling the family that we talk. He said i won’t …after all i did promise to you. So it went well.
Today we were just talking about how my other cousin is and through conversation i said yea…she though it wasn’t right in her opinion. and he said teak hy. So I said meaning what she said was right? and he said ha teak bola. so I asked…so I shouldn’t have phoned then? and he said itni se to teak hai, bus jo howi wo teak hai. and then he had to go.
I don’t know what to make of it! Does this mean, he thinks badly of me? Why is it not considered right over there? Is this a red flag. What should I make of it?
Re: Is it wrong to talk on the phone - is it seen as bad?
I think its because over there its not so normal or if it does happen there its because the girls are kinda meased up. Also I guess he doesnt feel all that comfortable with it since the two of you arnt official or anything??
Personally I don't see the problem if he doesn't mind chit chatting online then whats the diff in calling. But maybe its also because hes a little conservative or shy perhaps??
Re: Is it wrong to talk on the phone - is it seen as bad?
For reals? Why sexualize everything. You were trying to have a general discussion, it wasn't going to near phone sex land. Too much hype about gender differences/restrictions.
Re: Is it wrong to talk on the phone - is it seen as bad?
When u guys get a little more closer he'll be all up for long phone chats. He's just trying to say the right stuff now. Maybe his family is conservative, or the way u were making it sound like a big deal or difficult decision he was going along with it. So either way I don't think he can see it as bad since u did make it clear that u were really thinking about whether u should or not. When u get to know him better through text and chat he'll be the one suggesting phone chats asking u if he can call u and all that. If he doesn't then I would think he's not too interested.
Re: Is it wrong to talk on the phone - is it seen as bad?
I think that from now onwards you should wait for him to call you- don't be the one to initiate it. If he wants to have a phone conversation with you, let him ring you or suggest it.
As for phone etiquette, to me it doesn't seem to be a big deal that you suggested it but I am not sure how it is viewed over there. I don't know what your circumstances are but if it is a possible arranged marriage situation then you should not have initiated it even if he is your cousin. Just look at it this way- if he is interested he will pursue you himself through whatever communication channel suits him and it could be that he may just not be a phone person (some guys aren't).
Re: Is it wrong to talk on the phone - is it seen as bad?
personally i don't view talking to someone over the phone any different than talking over the net, chats,emails or texts other than the fact that some people are more spontaneous and alive on a phone call.
i also don't get it that if your cousin is okay communicating to you over the net then why would he see talking over the phone as bad?
may be he is more comfortable using the net as a medium of communication that he told you that a short call is ok but not too long.
Re: Is it wrong to talk on the phone - is it seen as bad?
I think its because over there its not so normal or if it does happen there its because the girls are kinda meased up. Also I guess he doesnt feel all that comfortable with it since the two of you arnt official or anything??
Personally I don't see the problem if he doesn't mind chit chatting online then whats the diff in calling. But maybe its also because hes a little conservative or shy perhaps??
Do people really think that only messed up girls talk to guys on the phone like that?
