Would you compromise on the time spent with parents/ spouse/ children for achieving a milestone in your career/ aim in life ?
Example. Going to a foreign country for few years where you might not be able to keep your family with you due to some reasons ?
Re: Is it worth it ?
I think it's fine, , with the exception of leaving your wife far away from you.
Once me and my brother grew up, my parents left us and moved halfway around the world to achieve my father's career goals, though they knew that meant leaving us and seeing us for just a couple of days a year for the rest of his working life.
Re: Is it worth it ?
It is worth it? Hmmm
No, this is because when they die you think about spending more time with them. Saying things that were inside you, just being there when they need you. Education and career take most of our lives and we fail to understand and value what is a family. We take family for granted.
It is not distance as much as lack of involvement in family. One can be miles away but still stay in touch, some stay together forever but do not know their loved ones.
I hate the fact that it is a choice and even more that whatever a sincere person does, in the end comes out feeling guilty.
know what 'm saying?
Re: Is it worth it ?
I have left my elderly parents behind and I ask this same question to myself every minute of every day. I have achieved my goals and reached my dreams and my parents are very happy but has it all been worth it?
Re: Is it worth it ?
i dont know.. :no:
Re: Is it worth it ?
What about the situation when parents and spouse are fully convinced more than you and themselves want you to prefer career because they think it would help the whole family in the long run.
When I used to work on field in Pak (2003), I once asked our new project director the reason behind leaving a very highly paid job in USA for a very ordinary job in Pak.
He replied, " One of my colleagues was earning alot of money in USA. He loved his parents so much that his motivation of working day and night was to one day build a big house in Pak and live there along with his parents whom he wanted to make proud.
His parents suddenly started to call alot and insist him to return to Pakistan as they wanted to see him once, But he convinced them that only one year is left after which he would live happily forever with his parents when he returns to Pak, as he would bring along with him alot of money.
Unfortunately both his mother and father died in an accident.
The sight of his crying, and the way he was crying, was enough for me to immediately leave my job and everything to return to PAk and serve my parents with ordinary income"
Re: Is it worth it ?
There is nothing that will ever replace witnessing your child's first steps, first words, first day of school. Nothing to ever replace the memories that you can make with your family. Money is replaceable, its earn-able no matter your age. Life is finite, everyone has a start date and an end date. Jobs do not and money does not. My boyz, ask them do they want to buy the 400 dollar ride-on tractor or race car OR rather go camping for 4 days with mom and dad...hands down they want the trip. And the time with mom and dad. I lost my own dad in January and although I had him for many years, I still need him, I still wish he was here and I'd give ANY amount of money to have him back. NOTHING can replace quality time with loved ones.
Re: Is it worth it ?
Very well said Mama :)
Re: Is it worth it ?
But if your parents don't want you to be with them for few years because their dream is to see you excel in life and get the best out of the opportunity (a high scholarship...etc) which you might not get again in life.
Even if you insist for coming back they say,
" If you want to see us happy and not hurt us than please don't come back till you have not achieved this milestone, because it would help your whole family for a long time. Though we are tempted to tell you to come back and spend time with us, but we don't want to be so selfish, we wish the best for you and your children. We don't know when would we leave this world, but we don't want to become a hindrence is something which would be helpful for our coming generation"
But you think life has no surity and who knows how many times nature would give you opportunities of serving parents. How many times would you get chances of warming your heart with your parent's smile, how many times you would spend nights with tears and wishing to talk to them. How can you say that life without them is like a person on a dark cold island from whom all the warmth has been taken awayy....
Re: Is it worth it ?
^ in that case, I would agree with Maddy in post 2. That is with the exception of leaving your wife. If possible, try to take her with you. And if that cannot be done at the moment, then call her to ur place asap.
Allah knows best!
Re: Is it worth it ?
^ Insha'Allah that is what I am going to do. And insha'Allah my parents would have to come with her, which is part of the plan " I and my wife" have in mind. We also planned and tried for umrah in between but that can be only possible when the orders are given from above.
p.s. Need prayers, JAzakAllah khair for the kind advices :)
Re: Is it worth it ?
Yea InshaAllah. I would prefer to do an umrah/Hajj asap because you never know what might happen tomorrow and plus once you are married, the situation becomes a little different and time-consuming. I did umrah about 2 years ago and Hajj is next on my list InshaAllah so am gonna try to do it asap.