Re: Is it worth it?
I agree that there's only so much you can do. At one point you have to let go and accept that you can't change everyone. Each person is responsible for their own actions and the motives behind their actions may only be known to them and God. One example in my family is a couple of my Phupos have become very distant and bitter because of unhappy marriage and problems with their grown kids. Whenever we see them (big occasions, wedding, funeral) they always have some critical remark as their opening line. How about saying, "Hey, good to see you again, long time no see." But they find some little insignificant things to nitpick about and make some drama out of nothing.
Now it would be presumptuous of my mother to say that Phupo made a big fuss at my wedding because her own daughter has no marriage prospects. The motive is only known to her. But we just have to be patient, put up with any ill behaviour to keep the family peace. It's hard when you're put in the postion of having to plead and apologize to someone for something that shouldn't be an issue in the first place. But the whole time we just pray to Allah to give us strength to not stoop to that level. Keep us patient and strong. There is nothing big enough to cause arguments in a family. We just keep our heads and accept that we can't change the situation but we also won't let it change us.