I have no idea why people have so many issues with other people. I mean its sort of sad and ironic at the same time, to what great lengths they will go to make another persons life miserable. I dont think its the fact that they misunderstand the other person, I think its that they want to see the other person as something that the other person is not.
Is it worth trying to be civil to them? Should a person bother trying to make them see things as how they actually are? Or is it best at times to have that “go to hell” attitude?
I mean its amazing what some people will come up with. Yeah , its a whole lot easier thinking the other person is at fault, and we are all innocent little angels who would never think of doing anything stupid.
But when we see other people acting like complete morons should we try and make them open their eyes?
I always used to have this belief that you should do everything possible to make the other person see sense. That no matter how low a person stoops, Im better than them, Ive been taught better and I will not do the same in return. But there comes a point when you just get fed up, and think its really not worth caring about.
If someone thinks ill of me, I wouldn't really want them in my life. I can't go out of my way to 'prove' to someone I am not what they think I am. People are going to think what they want regardless of what you say or do.
You don't have to go out of your way to be rude. You can remain civil, but go your seperate ways.
I agree that there's only so much you can do. At one point you have to let go and accept that you can't change everyone. Each person is responsible for their own actions and the motives behind their actions may only be known to them and God. One example in my family is a couple of my Phupos have become very distant and bitter because of unhappy marriage and problems with their grown kids. Whenever we see them (big occasions, wedding, funeral) they always have some critical remark as their opening line. How about saying, "Hey, good to see you again, long time no see." But they find some little insignificant things to nitpick about and make some drama out of nothing.
Now it would be presumptuous of my mother to say that Phupo made a big fuss at my wedding because her own daughter has no marriage prospects. The motive is only known to her. But we just have to be patient, put up with any ill behaviour to keep the family peace. It's hard when you're put in the postion of having to plead and apologize to someone for something that shouldn't be an issue in the first place. But the whole time we just pray to Allah to give us strength to not stoop to that level. Keep us patient and strong. There is nothing big enough to cause arguments in a family. We just keep our heads and accept that we can't change the situation but we also won't let it change us.
I should add that it really all depends on who the other person is. If it was someone who was important to me, then I would make an effort to clarify the situation. It could all be due to a misunderstanding. If it was some random person though who I don't particularly care for, I wouldn't go out of my way to mend things. Saima is also right when she says that this all requires a lot of patience ....
Thats true. Its so much easier being nasty then it is being nice.
minah – lol. Yeah Im trying to see things in a sensible manner.
mehnaz-- I always try to do my part. Esp when it comes to those I love. I dont like being selfish, and I do not like hurting people.
its just so tough when the other party wont even try. I mean it just gets so annoying at times, and its very very hard to keep my temper ,to keep myself from saying or doing something stupid.
Ive learned a lot over the years, but if there is one thing I will lever learn, its how to put up with a nasty uncaring person.
why why why why why.
I need to get things in order in my head soon, else I have a feeling I’ll turn into on of those people. God forbid.
You have to address the issues keeping in mind the outcome you want to achieve. Sometimes one has to ignore people and sometimes you have to confront in order to make a point. I think you are one of those people who have a hard time living without being heard. You have to get your ideas out of your system or else you will die. :-D You think you are right like everyone else but sometimes it gets into a mudslinging contest. You have to know your audience, the significance of the issue and approach to get your point across. :-)
Fayz-- Interesting advice. I have a hard time living without being heard hmmmm, I definately have a hard time keeping my opinions to myself. Dont know if thats what you're saying - although Im aware of where you're getting at.
I do not think Im right all the time. But I do think I can be right at certain times.
You're accusing me of taking part in mud slinging ? ha! I have had an iron control on myelf around this place. Trust me the stuff Ive ignored and lived with is amazing. Seeing as how er tempermental I can be(at times) .
Im going to throw my shoe at you.:o
Plus this thread is not about gs. Its a general view of people in my life or rather world.
, i am quite popular for it