I didnt put this in religion section for a reason, but if mods feel it belongs there instead of here, I leave it to the mods to decide. smile
I’ve browsed these forums many a time and have spoken to many people, and sometimes I come across sentiments of people hating this life and/or everything in it (I may have done this myself earlier, so I am not saying I am immune from this). Including hating things in this world. Almost as if its a crutch to be put on this earth. I am not talking about people who are suicidal, but rather the ones who when you ask them how their day was they say things like, “life sux”. I just wonder sometimes that if people replaced a persons name in place of “world” or “life”, the person they are speaking ill of would not be pleased to hear that. So why do they say it about this life or things that occur in it? Therefore, I wonder if its an injustice of some sort to speak so ill of the world, and of life that has been granted to us. For example, I’ve noticed people speak ill of weather patterns like rain or sunshine. What is the need to do this? It’s almost as if people need to find things to speak ill of them. It’s one thing to be sad about the fact that people died due to a storm, or that people live in abject poverty and so they are not too thrilled about their condition, but there are always people that perservere in the worst conditions, and manage to think good of life, regardless of that. Even the Prophet(SAW) had to deal with horrendous conditions that none of us really face, yet he was happy about the life he was granted and didnt speak ill of people and things. And he(SAW) thanked Allah everyday for the life he was given.
Considering that rain and sunshine, and life, is a creation of Allah, isnt it incumbent upon us to make the most of it and not think so badly of our condition? I’ve noticed we complain over the simplest things (and I am terribly guilty of this myself). It’s one thing to complain in order to receive a remedy, but its another to just complain for the sake of complaining, and not seeing the blessings in life. Anyway, perhaps I am just rambling on and dont make much sense. I would just like others and especially myself, to stop complaining so much about life and how terrible it is or can be, and instead start appreciating things and situations for what they are. And if things are so terrible, then pray and ask for guidance or relief from your condition, rather than ramble on and do nothing about it. It’s terribly negative to do that, and not to mention it can be a sign of slight depression.
I just posted this because its what I am feeling right now. Tomorrow I might even forget what I wrote and start complaining, but if anyone hears me complain, I’d like them to remind me to look at all the good, and stop blaming nature or other things out of my control for my fortune/fate. I didnt mean to offend anyone with this post, so please do not take it as such. Thanks.
i guess i understand where ur coming from, but for me personally i sometimes feel the need to complain about certain issues jus to let off steam, its not really humanly possible for me to think and feel positive all of the time. however i do thank Allah for every single problem or difficulty i ever come across..i guess i see this life/world i am living in as a test, the only person who can know whether or not i pass or fail is myself so the only person i need to prove anything to is also myself
im kinda getting off the mark a little bit.....
i think ur right abt the complaining abt simple things though...it does seem difficult..but once u switch on the news...u kinda forget all the minor problems you have in life
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*Originally posted by Miss_Mohabbat: *
wow...uv thought abt this a lot!!!
iits not really humanly possible for me to think and feel positive all of the time.
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I've thought about this a lot just recently. Before I used to do a lot of the complaining. hehe. guilty
I dont think it is possible to feel positive 100% of the time. Afterall, the Prophet(SAW) was quite sad when his wife(RA) passed away. However, I feel people should be more constructive when they dont feel positive about things, and turn to the One who can change their condition. Not gossip to people about it and do nothing. It's one thing to share that you feel sad, but its another to wallow in the pity. And we shouldnt complain about such trivial things, and blame things and speak ill of weather patterns, etc. Like for example I know a lot of people who complain when it rains. That is infact a very selfish act if you think about it. The plants and the trees and the birds and animals are probably thanking Allah for the rains, and the humans are complaining because they cant play tennis that day. I think we need to change our perspectives about certain things and not make it about "me me me" all the time.
sometimes its easier to complain abt the little and simple things like the weather, however when people are complaining abt teh rain i somehow doubt they are going to think abt the trees and flowers..i get what ur saying..but not everyone can think the same:)
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*Originally posted by Miss_Mohabbat: *
sometimes its easier to complain abt the little and simple things like the weather, however when people are complaining abt teh rain i somehow doubt they are going to think abt the trees and flowers..i get what ur saying..but not everyone can think the same:)
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True, and I was one of those people complaining about not being able to go out due to the rain. So I can understand the sentiment. I just would love it if people pointed it out to me that I need to take a look at myself and my thinking, when I start thinking like that. Some venting is okay, but it should be coupled with thankfulness and constructive action. I started thinking about this due to someone else pointing it out to me. It's just something I want to remind myself of when I am in such a mood. Insha'Allah. Thanks for your contribution. smile
munni u r talking abt an ideal personality u know.......insaan kee fitrat hay k woh juld baaz hay aur yehi jald bazee ussay khud ko perishan rakhtee hay jiss kee waja say woh complains kerta hay ....aur yeh woh apni ghalatyon ko justify kernay k liye kerta hay....jitnee batain tum nay likhee woh aik pERFECT personality main ho saktee hain and as u mentioned nabee-e-mukarram(SAW), .......jis standard of patience kee tum baat ker rahee ho uss tak janay k liye uss k liye bahut soch darkaar hay aur u know hum main say aksar k pass time nahee coz v r bizzi in complaing !
Karakush, I didnt have a certain group of ppl in mind. It was really a huge reminder to myself, and I felt maybe some others would understand what I am saying.
show_sha, I agree that we cannot be exactly like the Prophet(SAW), not even close, but my point wasnt that we shouldnt complain about things that happen to us, my point is that we should turn to the One who can remedy the problem. Rather than talk in excess that results in nothing. And the point was also to stop thinking about ourselves so much when things happen around us, and consider what benefit it may have to others. Like the rains for example.
I admit that sometimes we need to complain, its the excess and the constant complaining that I fear can affect us and others around us in a negative way.
Also, it can become a very serious issue especially with the gossip that often results when we complain as much as we do. And some people take it to a very unhealthy length where they end up suffering from depression because they dont see much good in their lives. People around you can be affected by your moods, and thats something some people dont consider. They think the negativity they are expressing only affects themselves, and it doesnt. And as a person listening to such complaining, I feel others shouldnt just join in it all the time, but should rather offer some constructive advice. Otherwise it just makes the other person continue to feel bad about that part of their life. Stop adding to the depression and do something constructive. (I realize this isnt easy to do, but we can try.)
Anyway, thats going deep into the topic. hehe. I just posted this cause I was doing some self-assessment, and thought others can relate. smile
I wanted to put an example of what I was talking about. I have done this myself, so I am just as guilty.
A friend of yours starts talking to you about their aunt who said something at a dinner party your parents recently threw. The friend tells you all the details, and you agree with the version of the story you heard, and insist along with your friend that the aunt is horrible. Then you add onto the situation by mentioning your aunt and how she did such and such a long time ago to your family. And this continues. Now do you honestly think that you did the right thing there? Is that the way we should handle such a situation? Soooo many of us do this, all the time (including myself, which I am starting to realize and trying to change). What you have now done is given a person a reason not to like your aunt, when your aunt had nothing to do with the situation in the first place.
What do you think is the right way to handle this? If you were advising yourself, how would you tell yourself this situation could have been handled better?