Re: Is it too forward...
i did.. with my husband and he was totally ok with that. he had sexual partners before so he totally understood my concerns. i think in todays time and age its normal and expected. And we shouldnt be hestitant about asking such questions!
yeah i think ppl are just lookin for things to reject ppl ... there are a billion other ways to chek for a person's character more discreetly than this
This is about health. Its not about character...good people get infected too...my concern is that it should not be transmitted to someone else. Ithink both partners should get tested...better safe than sorry
Re: Is it too forward...
Honestly, while on a rishtaa hunt, the few guys I did talk to - I asked them point blank if they had been sexually active, if they had ever been tested for STD's in the past, if they had any history of STD's with active disease, and if they would be willing to sit for another test prior to marriage. Everyone was understanding and open to it. It's when a guy starts getting evasive, and dodgy that you need to start wondering what exactly he is hiding.
Otherwise, you can go to a community health center and elect to have results shared openly between both of you with a doctor explaining the results to you both.
Re: Is it too forward...
Discriminating against noncommunicable diseases that will not be passed down to kids, is a bit jerkish, honestly.
Like say you find out your partner has hypothyroidism which is being controlled by a drug. Or say they, like so many others, have high blood pressure. Also being controlled by a drug. Would you reject someone for such reasons? They're not going to give you these illnesses, and genetics plays a marginal role in many such diseases.
And even "genetic" diseases...look unless you got someone with a family history of Huntington's or some other lethal autosomal dominant disorder, I wouldn't be too worried. Unless you have the same problem in your family (ex. two families with Tay Sachs running in their blood), you shouldn't be worried. Recessive genes will usually dilute out once you marry out of the subculture anyway.
Re: Is it too forward...
Honestly if someone asked anyone in my family to have a blood test done they would be totally shocked and confused (this may be because they are oblivious to the fact that nowadays so many people are sexually active before marriage) ......but as people have said times are changing and its better to be safe than sorry....though I really can't see this happening in the family...
However requiring blood tests for noncommunicable diseases is not OK in my book, STD's and stuff I understand........
...to ask a potential partner to take a physical exam/blood test before marriage?
what if he demands a virginity test in return?
This is a delicate matter and a little caution is required to ask for such stuff. I understand that if a person is playboy/party animal or is known to have many affairs in the past, its a good thing to ask for it (but then why a girl should marry such guy to begin with?) ..
if he belongs to a normal religious/semi religious family .. asking him to give his blood report is definitely going to rub him the wrong way.
Re: Is it too forward...
i asked my fiance if perhaps we should get a test done (not for STD checks, but for genetic stuff) ... he wasnt too happy or excited.
he said are you worried we'll be having wonky kids? and if our reports say we'll be having wonky kids, will you not marry me because of that?
i had no answer ...
i feel it's peeking too much into a future that you should rather put into God's hands.
we're growing paranoid for perfection. why?
but if the test is for an STD check ... that i think is totally understandable. of course all circumstances must be taken into account.
Re: Is it too forward...
nothing is considered too forward these days...everything goes unfortunately.
Re: Is it too forward...
In New York state and asfar as I know, many other states in USA, it is required to get a blood test prior to receiving a marriage lisence. Its a good idea.
This test will NOT uncover genetic mishap possibilities but is meant to uncover STDs and HIV/AIDS.
As far as genetic compatability, sure you should at least look into the issue. There is always the possibililty of those nasty recessive genes where if you and your partner both have them then it may come back to haunt you. Thalessemia is a big issue for Pakistani folk. So a visit to a genetic counsellor wouldnt hurt and could possibly prevent much heartache. Think "cord blood banking" people!
what if he demands a virginity test in return?
This is a delicate matter and a little caution is required to ask for such stuff. I understand that if a person is playboy/party animal or is known to have many affairs in the past, its a good thing to ask for it (but then why a girl should marry such guy to begin with?) ..
if he belongs to a normal religious/semi religious family .. asking him to give his blood report is definitely going to rub him the wrong way.
Yes!
Re: Is it too forward...
Virginity test is not the same as an STD. That is a retarded notion. Seriously are you comparing a woman's virginity with Herpes or HIV/AIDS?
You can die from getting the disease. Your kids will die from it. You can pass it through a blood transfusion to someone else.
Who the **** dies from failing a virginity test?
Tuaba Tuaba if all u kids followed Islam properly then there would be no need for such extreme measures 
Re: Is it too forward...
yeah, why not?
i wouldn't mind if i was asked
and if you know your partner has been in any other relationship in past, or even otherwise, its not a bad idea to ask either.
i dont think theres any shameful thing in this or that its too forward. its totally ok.
Why just before marriage?
:k: ..
Re: Is it too forward...
No, I wouldn't, if I had doubts I'd just steer clear of him in the first place..
Joked about the std test with my other half the other day and he said yeah, he would take the test but only if I did as well.. Test for diseases I wouldn't ask him either, again if it bothered me I wouldn't be with him in the first place..