There are ups and downs in every relation for sure and specially friendships blow hot and cold with time. But sometimes one realizes that the friend is half the friend once he/she was and the relationship is just going through the motions with no spark left to speak of. My question is, would you let things go run by themselves and try to make it work at all costs? OR would you take the hard road and go in the background? (means cut off either on permenant or temporary basis).
saby, i feel, you just cannot switch off the 'we are friends' switch...sometimes you feel the other person is not as close as he/she was a few days/months/years back but then you just can't say we are not friends anymore. In my life i have had friends who were very close then they got busier in their own lives and we were not as close as we were before then one find day i felt we are back to our good old days...so ups and downs do happen...so let it be whatever it is now and am sure it will be same or closer than before...also, it does help when you say hi or call once in a while or visit old friends or a meal together...
i am not in regular contact with so many friends i have home but when i go there, a meal together or a tele conversations makes me feel all is still the same :D
^ Daagh, busier schedules are understandable and they are no reason to worry about a relationship. I have lost touch with many people through busy schedules and different directions of lives but that is understandable and any grownup should be okay with it. But there are other things than busy schedules that deteriorate a friendship.
But yes i agree that you cannot just say that lets switch off 'we are friends' button. It takes a while to do that!
crazyLarki-- I wish i studied business enough to do a CBA :~)
this happens with everyone who has ever had good friends. ive been through that phase few times for various reasons. and ppl i used to hang out with for hours everyday, i dont see for months being in the same city. those in diff places are another grim story. it does bring one close to tears once in awhile and we miss them alot. the distance widens, that doesnt mean youre not friends anymore or theres smthng wrong with the friendship, its just life...the way its meant to be...pathetic really, but i think ppl do hold the same plce in each others hearts inspite of not hanging out together that much and the bond stays forever. some chose diff professions and have a diff lifestyle and diff friends etc but i think that shouldnt make one close a chapter..
It depends on so many things.
Have you made and effort to talk about your feelings? To tell the person they are important to you and that you're here for them?
After that it's probably right to take a step backwards and give them the time and space to decide what they want to do for themselves.
i dont think a friendship can ever be undone…the moments u’ve shared, things spoken abt…those r forever…and will live in both friends hearts n memories forever…i think…
banda chahay bhee to its not easy to scrape away the feelings and care from ur heart abt someone who’s been a friend of urs…and why would a friend do that? if theres a misunderstanding it should be cleared, warna y…?
aur zaroori to nai k dunyavi faaslon se dili faaslay peda hon… ? i think i have friends whom i havent seen for years but if tomorrow they show up at my doorstep or if i hear they need me i’ll be there for them against all odds in whatever way i can…inshallah…and if i see them its just like we never got separated…that means the feeling is still alive in the heart with the same intensity hayna?
but the way this world is..a person has to fulfil their duties and obligations that come with the relationships in which they are bound…like family…and roles expected of them…some things automatically assume priority…ye duniya kee reet hae…
this is a really sad truth… :S …in a sense we have to be ready to let go of some people in a sense and know that we cant have the same level of communication with them as before :S but its for their best so they can play the new roles they have to efficiently…and this will make them happy…inshallah…but its not easy for the heart to accept that…
but i know how tough this can be…this is very very …very…painful…very sad…but duniya kee yai reet hae i guess
like when cousins or close friends get married :S or what about parents jab un kee betyaan rukhsat hoti haen :S
but u know what…its not that bad …Allah miyaan gave u some people who are truly yours and you will never have to let go of them you can hold on tight to them permanently…like your parents and siblings and future mein doosre rishtay inshallah is lyay fikar nishta te hun kha lo badaam pista
da only thin static in life is change itself, jus take care k da change is 4 da betterment of u n otherz
leave evthin aside 4 sumwhile s they say k da far u go da more near u cum
so stayin away frm any relationship will definitely signal u abt it’s importance in ur life n u’ll b more able 2 decide wat 2 do wid it
p.s. wish u best of luck na :k:
All of us changes with time , no matter how close friends are, they can't stay same with time , same thing happen with me after having my own family i lost contact with all of my friends,it happens when you get busy with your life and have others important things to do like if you are a part of a realtionship where you have some responsbilities .no one stay the same even yours silbings changes when they get own families .
shuru meiN sab ajeeb lagta haai ahista ahista aadi hoo jata hai insaN ... as irem said yehi duniya kee reet hai :-)
Haris-- thanks for such a insightful reply. I believe that when you lose touch with someone, your place should not lose any value at all in other person heart and vice versa. But that depends how strong the base of the friendship or the relation was.
Shirin- Giving each other space and time to decide things is the approach i usually take. But you have to agree that certain people take it the wrong way that any person who does that does not care enough.
Irem-- I dont think anyone wants friendship to be undone. In this trying world, sweet moments need to be cherished and kept in memory for longer periods. The only scare is that one does not ruin those memories with some bitterness that creeps up. And that bitterness is not your friendship related quarrels or anything. Are those days gone when relationships used to survive toughest tests? Seriuosly these days i observe some relationship at such an intensity but any subsequent trying phase shatters these supposedly intensive friendships like a crystal ball. Quiet unbelievable really.
kewlsolara-- I agree with you :~)
wake up dead-- oh yeah i am, fully :~D
Seema-- yeh thats what i thought to be a sane move. But sometimes such movies backfire horribly :~S
mehroo-- Like i said previusly, when people lose touch because of busy schedules, its perfectly understandable and i m not talkign about such distances in anyway.
hmmm…nope relationships do survive the toughest tests…but you know what cements a relationship and warrants permanence? that it be a relationship of the sort like mother daughter, husband wife…
it has to be a relationship bound by such duties…
otherwise for two friends who are good friends, except for best friends and that too not in all cases, there is no such commitment or duty involved, things and the intensity can change with time and both parties should be ready for it…dontcha think? maybe the intensity that existed at one point was because both friends needed each other then or happenned to be spending a lot of time together and that need or situation does not exist for one or both of them now? its kind of sad though i agree…
i know we all do this but honestly to expect too much from a relationship that isnt bound by such a formal relation is setting urself up for getting hurt imho…dontcha think?
Hmm..haan in friendship their're is also ups& downs.
Ive a friend and sometime's he speak with me and make
joke's with me and sometime's he dont speak i think
it is his mood so i let him go. Baat mei woh khud mujse
baat karte hai.
But i know after he will finished his school and he get a job
he will be much bussyer. That's life Jaan.
I know this sound hard but it is so.
Some of my friend are married and i hear nothing about them
it looks like they are dissapeard or something.
…
…Allah miyaan gave u some people who are truly yours and you will never have to let go of them you can hold on tight to them permanently…like your parents and siblings and future mein doosre rishtay inshallah 
