Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

Lifestyle Relationships
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In the work place…I tend not to speak Urdu with non-desies are around. Not because I am embarrassed. But because I find it rude.

I had one such experience today. Someone came up to me and wanted to speak Urdu in front of a bunch of non-desi people. I responded but since the others were also there…switched back quickly to English and kinda translated what I had said as well.

Do you guys find it rude to purposefully alienate someone like that?

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

yes I do find it rude !

At my work place some people speak in Gujraati and some in Goan language on a purpose just to not let the other person understand what they are speaking . To me I feel that they may be talking against someone that is why they are using a different language.

Whenever a foreign visitor visits us who can not understand Urdu we all speak English when we are in a meeting with him/her although we all can speak and understand urdu because it's bad manners.

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

In the case you have mentioned I don't think it is rude. The non-desi people, were they customers or colleagues? Either way, you were having a one to one conversation with that person, so others don't have anything to do with what you two were discussing or in which lkanguage you were discussing it. You didn't even need to translate it for them.

Rude it is when you all are interacting/working together in a group and two people start talking to each other in a different language.

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

i totally agree with Le Pakistan.

Plus, i want to add my observation. During my studies and now employment in a multinational company in Germany, i have observed that it's mostly the desi people who care to speak in English if non-desis are around. USUALLY, the Europeans, Arabs and Chinese people are not bothered by the fact that someone around them doesn't understand their language.

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

^ This.

If someone walks up to me and starts talking to me in Urdu, I have no problem continuing the conversation in Urdu. IF there happens to be otheres around me who're non-desi....but they were no interacting with either one of us, then I don't see it as being rude. I have several Hispanic girls in my group who talk to each other in Spanish often in front of me....and it doesn't bother me at all. If its a joke or something that they want to share....they always immediately translate it for me.

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

I think talking in a foreign language when others are present is sometimes impolite. It depends on the situation. But as a "froeigner" in this case you might feel uncomfortable. Here in Germany you aren't allowed to speak another language on the schoolyard

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

Not if you cant do without it at the moment.Like what if the other person doesnt really know English or what. But if they are doing it only for the sake of showing intimacy or whatnot, yes I believe its rude and impolite.

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

I find it very very rude. And have always commented on it. Sometimes its a mistake and sometimes ppl do it on purpose cuz they are itching to say something negetive bout another person and dont wanna be heard.

So ya… I just ask what they said… And if they go all erm ah… Then i make them aware of how rude they just were.

Its a major pet peeve! :snooty:

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

I agree and this is exactly the situation I was in.

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

I have a couple of urdu/hindi speaking teachers at the school, and if we’re alone or in my office we have no problem conversing in our language, however, if it’s in the staff workroom and their are others around, or during a meeting, than no, it’s english only. We have many different languages spoken on campus, by staff and students alike (arabic, french, spanish, mandarin) and I think it’s just common courtesy because sometimes it can feel like you are being talked about (just like when you go to the nail salon :mad:!!!)

If I have desi parents who need help with translations/interpreting (and I am a certified interpreter so that I can sit in on ARD’s or other parent meetings) then I have no problem busting out in Urdu :slight_smile:

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

If its one-to-one discussion, there is no problem but if its a group discussion (even if person who is alien to the language is not actively not taking part) its rude.

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

In my office, we’ve been specifically told we’re NOT allowed to talk to anyone other than English, and if you speak in ‘your own language’ you’ll get in trouble.
So much for all the Punjabi swearing that we used to do :teary1:

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Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

I think it's rude when you're in a group and two people start talking in their own language!

This sometimes happens with my in laws who speak a different language to me. And my MIL always speaks her language and it might be out of habit and well because it's her language but sometimes it bothers me :(

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

i feel strongly about this and think it is extremely rude to do so in a workplace. the current place i work at.. there are so many indians, and they always chat in hindi, which drives me up the walls... I dont pretend i dont know urdu/hindi, but i stay clear of people who think its completely ok to do this at work..

not sure whether the same applies within family. For example, the hubby and i communicate in English... we hardly speak in urdu to one another unless its a group communication... but sometimes when its a conversation between the two of us, we'll revert to english... im thinking, is this bordering on being rude?

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

I dont think so sadzzz.... I speak to mr in english...and in laws in urdu... Its not written in stone but that is the flow mostly...

Mr and sil speak to each other in danish and it would drive me up the wall in the beginning...but then...it didnt concern me what they were talking bout...if it did..they would translate or just talk in english.

Within family...i dont think it matters. Unless you are making it obv that u are *****ibg bout someone to their face..they just dont understand it.

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

^ lol.. no we aint saying anything bad stuff. Just general stuff... grocery/house/munchkin related issues

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

I have an Indian friend whose mum doesn’t speak much English and when they went to hospital and saw a Punjabi doctor they tried to get him to speak the language but he refused.. Would that be considered rude by most people or understandable?

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

The Punjabi doctor was rude. If the patient does not understand or speak English, he had an obligation to speak with her in her language of choice if he know that language. What a jerk.

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

^ hmmm so its ok to speak to a patient/client but not a colleague?

I guess that makes sense

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Re: Is it rude to speak in your own language when others are present?

I think this is the problem in viewing everything in black and white and leaving no room for gray.

In an office setting, in my opinion, if there is a group meeting going on, people should speak in the official language of business (which may be English). If two or more people are speaking with each other, they can speak in any language they are comfortable with. I am against companies requiring that the moment you enter its premises, you should only use th eofficial language.

As for the patient, she was having a one to one conversation with the one person who could help her. It is just common sense for the doctor to accomodate that patient's choice of language, if the patient does not know English well enough to communicate.