I know it’s a very important part of life. I know i am not dying to get married but i want to get married eventually, IA. However what really baffles my mind is all the hype around marriage especially for girls. I know it’s the best to get married at an appropriate age but if circumstances are such that it’s not working your way then you can’t take it as THE end of your life and exisistence.
So to all the eager lot out there wanting marriage to happen asap or that’s the end for you, i have some questions for you;
WHY you want to get married? Do you have any reasons or its just the right and “normal” thing to do.
Suppose you are not meant to get married for next 1-2 years, how will that change your life and/or happiness?
Have you thought of taking up a hobby or continuing education or work in order to distract yourself from the marriage syndrome?.
Is it the pressure from family and society that makes you want marriage that badly?
Is the pressure so immense that you would settle for someone who may be very off from what you had once hoped to have in your partner?.
Re: Is it really what we want or what the people around us want for us?
Currently I am going through a lot of pressure from my mom to get married. I am Masha Allah good looking... But somehow the proposals when proceed just end nowhere... So currently this proposal came which I do not like, the guy, his education, his family background... Not a single thing which I like about him... but since they liked my pic... my mom is sooo keen to move ahead and I cannot do anything but to cry my eyes out... And Since I am 27, my mom thinks its the age which matters... but I am earning and I am not a burden on my family. At least they should wait until I give my consent whole heartedly to the proposal :( Why does my mom think this is the last proposal on earth for me and I won't be getting any more likes from others? :(
Re: Is it really what we want or what the people around us want for us?
Currently I am going through a lot of pressure from my mom to get married. I am Masha Allah good looking... But somehow the proposals when proceed just end nowhere... So currently this proposal came which I do not like, the guy, his education, his family background... Not a single thing which I like about him... but since they liked my pic... my mom is sooo keen to move ahead and I cannot do anything but to cry my eyes out... And Since I am 27, my mom thinks its the age which matters... but I am earning and I am not a burden on my family. At least they should wait until I give my consent whole heartedly to the proposal :( Why does my mom think this is the last proposal on earth for me and I won't be getting any more likes from others? :(
Re: Is it really what we want or what the people around us want for us?
Currently I am going through a lot of pressure from my mom to get married. I am Masha Allah good looking... But somehow the proposals when proceed just end nowhere... So currently this proposal came which I do not like, the guy, his education, his family background... Not a single thing which I like about him... but since they liked my pic... my mom is sooo keen to move ahead and I cannot do anything but to cry my eyes out... And Since I am 27, my mom thinks its the age which matters... but I am earning and I am not a burden on my family. At least they should wait until I give my consent whole heartedly to the proposal :( Why does my mom think this is the last proposal on earth for me and I won't be getting any more likes from others? :(
I am sorry but its foolish to marry someone just because its your age to get married. What the point? If you wont be happy with it then it wl be back to square one. Don't give in to the pressure.
Re: Is it really what we want or what the people around us want for us?
I am sorry but its foolish to marry someone just because its your age to get married. What the point? If you wont be happy with it then it wl be back to square one. Don't give in to the pressure.
The thing is I have seen my cousins and friends getting excellent proposals and getting married even at the age of 30... I guess my mom is being extra conscious... Alhamdo Lillah I am good looking, educated, groomed, good family.... At least the proposal should be a decent match... Not just that I need to get married asap so whoever comes and likes me, I shud get married to him whether or not he is a match or not... Marriages should be done based on matches and not in desperation....
How about taking some time from this family if they want to finalise things with me... and do one last try to see if we get a better proposal without making a formal haan with this family? Thus keeping them in reserve and doing haan there if I do not get any better proposal in the next 3-4 months time? Will it be unethical on my part? After all, its a question of my whole life....
Re: Is it really what we want or what the people around us want for us?
How about taking some time from this family if they want to finalise things with me... and do one last try to see if we get a better proposal without making a formal haan with this family? Thus keeping them in reserve and doing haan there if I do not get any better proposal in the next 3-4 months time? Will it be unethical on my part? After all, its a question of my whole life....
sure why not. i dnt c anything unethical abt it if u let them know that we need time 2 think over it.
Re: Is it really what we want or what the people around us want for us?
27 is really alarming age. your mom is right.
U live in USA and u say that there is some alarming age to get married... I dun get u, sorry....
In todays age, girls are studying and working... and age is not that much important factor as it used to be 30 years ago...
I am not that much modern and broad minded and I am not looking for proposals on my own... I am depending on my family for my marriage... At least my pasand should be considered in my marriage.... I hope I am not being unreasonable... Just because I am 27 does not mean I shud get married to anyone irrespective of his age, education, family background etc...
I had been financially supporting my family after the death of my father... thats why I got late in my marriage... I hope I get a good life ahead as I had been through very difficult times already and hope to have a good marriage... Am I being very unreasonable? I am not being very rigid in criteria regarding the guy... like he should be very handsome or something... but at least someone whom I will marry with my whole heart :(
Re: Is it really what we want or what the people around us want for us?
U live in USA and u say that there is some alarming age to get married... I dun get u, sorry....
In todays age, girls are studying and working... and age is not that much important factor as it used to be 30 years ago...
I am not that much modern and broad minded and I am not looking for proposals on my own... I am depending on my family for my marriage... At least my pasand should be considered in my marriage.... I hope I am not being unreasonable... Just because I am 27 does not mean I shud get married to anyone irrespective of his age, education, family background etc...
I had been financially supporting my family after the death of my father... thats why I got late in my marriage... I hope I get a good life ahead as I had been through very difficult times already and hope to have a good marriage... Am I being very unreasonable? I am not being very rigid in criteria regarding the guy... like he should be very handsome or something... but at least someone whom I will marry with my whole heart :(
i dont mean you to get marry any guy.
and yes, your situation is different.
Re: Is it really what we want or what the people around us want for us?
MARRIAGE.
I know it's a very important part of life. I know i am not dying to get married but i want to get married eventually, IA. However what really baffles my mind is all the hype around marriage especially for girls. I know it's the best to get married at an appropriate age but if circumstances are such that it's not working your way then you can't take it as THE end of your life and exisistence.
So to all the eager lot out there wanting marriage to happen asap or that's the end for you, i have some questions for you;
1) WHY you want to get married? Do you have any reasons or its just the right and "normal" thing to do.
2) Suppose you are not meant to get married for next 1-2 years, how will that change your life and/or happiness?
3) Have you thought of taking up a hobby or continuing education or work in order to distract yourself from the marriage syndrome?.
4) Is it the pressure from family and society that makes you want marriage that badly?
5) Is the pressure so immense that you would settle for someone who may be very off from what you had once hoped to have in your partner?.
Pls honest replies needed.
1) Its the natural course of life. You get educated, you work, set a financial base and start a family. Need for companionship is in our firmware.
2) What will happen to anyone is Allah's will. But like I said, its a natural course of life.
4 & 5) That definitely is a logical pressure. But it should and Must not force you to go and marry someone you are not fully comfortable with. Only know what you want from life and your life partner.. that may change with time I must add.
Re: Is it really what we want or what the people around us want for us?
27 is not an alarming age for marriage, you should be satisfied with the guy and his family before even considering marriage. Don't marry in a big desi family, just piece of advice. No matter how nice they seem initially. I wish I had waited till 30 to get married. Marriage brings tons of emotions both happiness and sad emotions, just be ready for that!
I know what i want from my life and how to go about it. Thanks for your concern though.