I like to believe that I am a thinking man, an observant man, one who can see different aspects of a situation, strategize, and deal with it accordingly. it helps that I have an air of bonga-ness around me, that helps me when people lower their guard and provide more information. on occasion when it helps me i can allow a certain moral flexibility in my dealings, which can let me nudge people in the direction that suits me, usually not to the extent that i should feel guilty about it. always in jest with friends/family, sometimes not so much with other people who dont deserve my loyalty.
now at different times in my life some of my friends have “discovered” this aspect of me and called me manipulative, usually not in an unfriendly way. but it gets me thinking and analysing whether im doing something wrong.
given that life is often a zero sum game is it wrong to look out for your interests and ensure your actions count towards achieving them? Assuming that doesnt involve blatant dishonesty. bear in mind that im not an out and out ahole, doesnt everyone to some extent manipulate others?
now at different times in my life some of my friends have "discovered" this aspect of me and called me manipulative, usually not in an unfriendly way. but it gets me thinking and analysing whether im doing something wrong.
given that life is often a zero sum game is it wrong to look out for your interests and ensure your actions count towards achieving them? Assuming that doesnt involve blatant dishonesty. bear in mind that im not an out and out ahole, doesnt everyone to some extent manipulate others?
everyone to some extent is manipulative. the question is how to deal/hide it. as you mentioned that you have an air of bonga-nes around you, use that to your advantage.
know the story of the scorpion and the frog? the frog offers to carry the scorpion across the river if the scorpion promises not to sting him. in the middle of the river, the scorpion stings the frog. frog asks - why would you do that when u know we'll both drown and die? scorpion replies - i can't help it, it's in my nature to sting.
so if frogs knew that scorpions would sting, that's kewl coz it's like caveat emptor. problem is, when frogs don't know that abt the scorpion.
point of the analogy is, it can erode ppl's trust in you. while u might not care abt other ppl, u might want to be more careful abt ur bonga-ness with ppl that are imp to you.
danial i do, because the ideas been put in my head though i think im feeling unnecessary guilt.
namkeen im not like the scorpion who does it for no reason. i usually have my reasons, if only entertainment. but yeah, it has killed the joke for a certain circle who dont believe me now :-/
namkeen im not like the scorpion who does it for no reason. i usually have my reasons, if only entertainment. but yeah, it has killed the joke for a certain circle who dont believe me now :-/
unnecessary guilt is the problem part, its OK, it'll keep you on your toes.
In fun its fine..I do that too…Its a very good thing that you have realized it…I realized that after being on the recieving end of the manipulations…U know its a good thing to keep it in control…Your feeling of guiltness show that you have a good set values…
Personally the moment I realize that somebody has a manipulative streak(the ones that use it to fulfill some sort of their own agenda)…I keep away from people like those…Its not worth my time or emotions. I have come to a point that mostly I can spot manipulative people from a mile…:)…sometimes they r the emotional blackmailers…sometimes one uppers…anyway…Fun is fine…as long as you r not getting to the point of trying to control another human being or trying to convert them into some one they r not…And by “you”…I mean generally speaking :D…not “you” ..you..
So ,moral of the story is Live and Let live…All you Manipulating control freaks …"Doesnt last long"people wake up..:halo:
sahar.. same with research.. we tend to hype our ideas to get the maximum benefit, couching it in technically safe words that we've learnt have a visceral impact on certain groups.
but i think thats a special case of what im talking about, something im not that worried about because i see other people doing it much much more than myself.
no friendships made or severed lajawab, my point was i've been on the wrong side of the deduction gaff so i have to give others some leevay when i know they did the same thing.
anyway, thats the end of it as far as im concerned.
now at different times in my life some of my friends have "discovered" this aspect of me and called me manipulative, usually not in an unfriendly way. but it gets me thinking and analysing whether im doing something wrong.
Yes you are doing something wrong, you are getting caught, why is that? As danial said everyone to some extent is manipulative...daily. Obviously degrees vary, from giving someone a compliment when it isn't deserve to setting a trap up to assure someones failure. Your concern should be why you're being "discovered", understand that andyou'll be able to find the answer to your other question.
i dont think ive been discovered in an adversarial/non-friendly situation though, although im not sure why you say how wrong manipulation is depends on whether or not it gets caught?
i dont think ive been discovered in an adversarial/non-friendly situation though, although im not sure why you say how wrong manipulation is depends on whether or not it gets caught?
I'm not saying manipulation is wrong, it's required in our society, from getting things done to protecting others peoples feelings. What I said was wrong (wrong as in a mistake not in the moral sense) was the fact you were getting caught being manipulative.
Manipulation itself isn't wrong but the agenda behind, the reason for using and how it effects others is what matters. Doy ou think using manipulation for entertainment purposes is right?
it boils down to we have a responsibility to be upfront about our intentions then when it comes to social interaction, or for example over here on these forums.
would you be wrong (morally) if for example you were completely accurate in a discussion here but knew that you were engineering your replies to divert the discussion away from a weakness you knew about.
somehow it always makes me end up feeling like im one of those RNC spin gurus.
would you be wrong (morally) if for example you were completely accurate in a discussion here but knew that you were engineering your replies to divert the discussion away from a weakness you knew about.
We'll then looks nice typed, "responsibility to be upfront about our intentions", out but I think each situation and the person(s) involved have to be factored in, there a number of varibles to determine if being upfront is the best course of action or not.
If you feel like one of those guys do really believe in what your spinning anyways?
^Abey kia ab har koi tujhey hug karey, so that you feel good ?
Ab online discussion main kia pata lagta hia ke admi kita kamina hia ?.. Maybe you and your Real life friends are right, You should ask forgiveness, make up and give them a hug :k:
Our jin jin ke paisay wapas karney hain foran kardo …jin jin se free main lunch dinner kia hain unko bhi compensate karo And if you have forgotten let me pm you the details, time, place and amount etc.
not manipulative. dont be sad. get glad!