From any human being? I wonder if one can make oneself so strong that one doesn’t miss any friends. That one can live without. I wonder, if you can make yourself emotionally so strong, that you can actually live without them. If you’re emotionally independant, I think nothing can harm you, then you’re really strong. Maybe that’s just as important as being financially independant on any one.
Re: Is it possible to be emotionally totally independant?
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What an interesting question. :k: In my personal opinion, this is impossible to be emotionally, completely independent… although i used to believe it myself not too many years back.
The most common answer you might receive is that, as humans, we’re not made to be emotionally independent; we’re created as social creatures. Our emotional dependence varies, manifestly, from person to person even within the same family but we each need recognition, appreciation, a sense of ‘value’/‘worth’, a sense that we’re loved. Even a genuine smile from someone else can make your day.
Take this Forum as an example… i mean, to differing causes, we all come here to interact with others, don’t we? Some do it for religious issues, some for political, some to discuss music, some for a little bit of all forms of interaction. At the end of the day, we’re all looking for discussion.
i highly doubt any of us can live in an emotional island…i can’t even imagine a world without my childhood friends or close family members. i am sure no one else can either. Even though i am not that great at expressing feelings to those i love, just the thought of knowing that they are there - is something i can’t put a price on. i think we all need that feeling from others, don’t we…?
i think to some extent some people can be emotionally independant.. lekin not totally.. ive known quite a few people in my life who declare they dont rely on anyone.. which is quite true.. they are very self sufficient and dont let any emotioncal crap get them down... but i think these are the people who if one day do start depending on some people... they will be so emotionally involved they dont know how not to care... its quite fascinating actually... ive known this to happen to a few males.. its very sad.. yet interesting..
.. some people who dont grow up without family and friends tend to become emotionally independant.. my dad was one.. lekin i know for a fact now that he cant do nething without his wife and kids... he doesnt need any friends or brothers or sisters.. as long as his wife and kids are healthy and near him... he's all good..
..another thing we should take into account is that some people we interact with arent 'close' .. as in they dont really mean nething to us.. therefore we dont care if they leave us.. whereas there are some people who we may never interact with.. but know they exist.. and if that someone goes missing... we find life miserable... fascinating nahin?? i guess not.. im just wierd...
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lolz no not weird whatsoever 
Do you mind if i ask - just out of curiosity, can you please give me an example of the above. i totally agree with you, by the way…but i am trying to think of someone whom i feel that way about. You are right, now that you mentioned it i can think of people who are emotionally independent to a certain extent. It’s weird, though, because these types of individuals always tend to be the most sensitive deep, deep inside… maybe that’s why they build up a wall around themselves so that they feel they won’t be ‘hurt’ by forming emotional ties.
(Sorry if i make no sense :o ).
hehe kewl.... acha lemme think..
its like maybe u've had a crush on someone for aaages.. as long as u could remember... not like a teeny crush.. but some strong feelings inside.. u may never have spoken to the person.. but u know they exist... and one day they decide to leave... wouldnt ur world feel empty then? kinda like that... i mean u dont have to be in depression for the rest of ur life... but for a short while.. u feel as if u've lost everything..
whereas.. lets say uni friends or school friends.. some of them u see every day.. but u couldnt careless if they disappeared tomorrow.. thats so mean... i wasnt like this before... im so over getting emotional hehe.. i mean only when it really matters i do..
does that make sense?
Acha now i understand perfectly. Sorry, silly me. :o That definitely makes sense
Thank you for explaining it to me, Sadzzz. 
hehe na its kewl.. but is that the kind of feeling u were referring to? cus u said u feel like that about someone.. i may have gone off track.. sorries... :)
well am glad it made sense..
u know its not totally about crushes.... sometimes people like us who grow up away from cousins, aunts and grandparents... the same kind of feeling happens...
like i didnt grow up with my grandparents at all.. but u know the occasional helloooo hellooo mein teeekkk hooon over the phone right... u develop this connection with them.. and i remember when my nani ma passed away... i was in denial.. infact i still am... its that kinda emotional attachment i was referring to as well :)
i personally feel that - when it comes to feelings and emotions, no one is ever ‘wrong’. If someone did tell you, Sadzzz, that you’re going “off-track”, that’s wrong because - every answer from each individual is going to be unique - and correct in its own manner. Whatever you feel, is right for the simple reason that - that’s how you feel.
i definitely relate to the kind of emotional attachment you are referring to. My Nana passed away six years before i was born. Anything and everything i ‘know’ about him, is gleaned from other peoples’ memories and stories. The weirdest part, though, is that - for some reason, i really miss him at times. Even though of course i never even met him. It’s just based upon how other individuals, outside and within my family, talk about him and discuss his personality… i miss him for the type of compassionate personality i am told that he had, and how my Ammi describes his gentleness, humour, and patience. i miss him so much.
So - how often you ‘interact’ with someone, definitely does not need to be necessary for determining how emotionally close you can become with someone. You are absolutely right, i believe.
exactly as u described the relationship with ur grandfather.. u dont need to have any interaction or relationship with them to feel the way u do.. it just happens..
ive got a person like that too in my life.. hes my mums mamoo.. ive never really met him.. nor spoken to him.. just heard about him.. and for some reason he stays in my head all the time.. if i have to compare anyone.. i like to think of him first.. and just thinking of him makes me smile…
its also like those kids who grow up without a parent.. even though they’ve never met that parent… they feel an emotional attachment… so sad yet so sweet
Re: Re: Is it possible to be emotionally totally independant?
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Originally posted by Nadia_H: *
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Take this Forum as an example... i mean, to differing causes, we all come here to interact with others, don't we? Some do it for religious issues, some for political, some to discuss music, some for a little bit of all forms of interaction. At the end of the day, we're all looking for discussion.
[/QUOTE]
I never thought of it that way, but so true. Could it be that we need some sort of affirmation of our thoughts/actions. I don't know.
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*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
..another thing we should take into account is that some people we interact with arent 'close' .. as in they dont really mean nething to us.. therefore we dont care if they leave us.. whereas there are some people who we may never interact with.. but know they exist.. and if that someone goes missing... we find life miserable... fascinating nahin?? i guess not.. im just wierd...
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Nah, you're not. That's a good point actually. Like far away relatives. As you've mentioned, grandparents. I can relate to that.
… you are making sense … :k: