Hi everyone!
Further to my previous thread, now my parents have agreed, and both of us’ parents have spoken to one another and finalized everything.
What confuses me still is that, there is not much improvement in guy’s behaviour. Yesterday when our parents spoke and confirmed the rishta, he was very happy and called me and said it is confirmed now. And he said he would discuss with his family and friends and will decide how to carry on the wedding, after 2-3 days.
But i feel he is still keeping a distance. Now he does keep in contact but only limited. If i send him texts, he would just respond back with 2-3 words. If i call, he does not answer calls or call back. When asked, he said he is stressed due to work.
I just feel scared, thinking what if he changes his mind or backs out? 
. Is it normal for a guy to behave such a way? Or am I getting worried simply? What should be done in such a case?
Re: Is it normal?
He could genuinely be busy with work...if he didn't want to go ahead then he would hardly be saying that it is confirmed. I think you should probably give him some space, as he may just be bombarded with work and when he has confirmed wedding arrangements in 2-3 days I am sure he will contact you to discuss further. Until then, don't stress and don't overcrowd him.
Re: Is it normal?
Yes, but it is getting quite frustrating, but i just do not react, thinking it can be just a misunderstanding from my part. 
Re: Is it normal?
He could be shy.
Re: Is it normal?
He can’t be busy all the time, and you will be his future wife. In the future he will need to balance you and work and even kids. You should ask him out for coffee, or ask your parents to invite him over, so you can get to know each other.
It may be religious reasons or shyness. But personally i would feel suspicious why he doesn’t keep contact. You need to get to know each other well. Wait a bit longer encase he is busy or some men like to pull away for a while then talk back and don’t like to be hassled .
If this is a continuing issue then i feel it is a problem, but if its only temporary its ok.
Re: Is it normal?
He can't be busy all the time, and you will be his future wife. In the future he will need to balance you and work and even kids. You should ask him out for coffee, or ask your parents to invite him over, so you can get to know each other.
It may be religious reasons or shyness. But personally i would feel suspicious why he doesn't keep contact. You need to get to know each other well. Wait a bit longer encase he is busy or some men like to pull away for a while then talk back and don't like to be hassled .
If this is a continuing issue then i feel it is a problem, but if its only temporary its ok.
That's what my concern is. Now that our families are involved, i would not like things to go wrong in any way.. :(
Re: Is it normal?
That's what my concern is. Now that our families are involved, i would not like things to go wrong in any way.. :(
Keep trying and working on it. Inshallah it will be something minor. Don't give up . At the same time don't pester him, was he always like that before engagement?
Re: Is it normal?
Keep trying and working on it. Inshallah it will be something minor. Don't give up . At the same time don't pester him, was he always like that before engagement?
He wasnt always like that. He has started being so from a month. I thought he will be back to normal once things get finalized, though he has started responding after our parents have finalized the things but still i feel he is trying to keep a distance, and doesnt seem to be so caring anymore.
Re: Is it normal?
He wasnt always like that. He has started being so from a month. I thought he will be back to normal once things get finalized, though he has started responding after our parents have finalized the things but still i feel he is trying to keep a distance, and doesnt seem to be so caring anymore.
It might be something that came up or occurred to him personally. If you have got to know him well from before this began, i don't think its such a big problem. Its hard to judge if he's caring since most men don't show this side to themselves. Maybe find out if anything happened to him without asking him. If he doesn't change ask him if somethings wrong.
Personally i am not an expert in these thing so take what i say with a pinch of salt. I was just worried he was like this from the beginning, as i thought he was hiding something but if he wasn't hopefully its nothing big.
Re: Is it normal?
I dont agree with people who are saying he must be shy cos you people were talking before baat pakki right?
A guy was so in love with my friend that he got sick over her. Lost a lot of weight. He was THAT mad for her. But after baat pakki he completely changed. Got haughty.
Thank fully his behavior is much better now and he is a nice guy but I think there is something wrong with guys lol. After baat pakki the typical husband mentality kicks in, and all that appeal disappears.
Re: Is it normal?
I dont agree with people who are saying he must be shy cos you people were talking before baat pakki right? A guy was so in love with my friend that he got sick over her. Lost a lot of weight. He was THAT mad for her. But after baat pakki he completely changed. Got haughty. Thank fully his behavior is much better now and he is a nice guy but I think there is something wrong with guys lol. After baat pakki the typical husband mentality kicks in, and all that appeal disappears.
But he did become okay after sometimes ya?
Re: Is it normal?
But he did become okay after sometimes ya?
Yes but it took a long time. He also got into some bad habits but my friend was patient through out and it paid off!
So I think you should be patient too and hope for the best! Every thing will be fine in sha Allah.
Re: Is it normal?
I guess you just need to give it some time. He's just been through a tough few weeks with you and your family pulling at his heart strings. lol. Just give him some time and try and make him feel special. Men are like babies on most days. Some days they need love.. some days they need space. The trick is to figure out when they want what. Obviously i could be wrong, i have no experience, just observation. lol.
Congrats on the baat pakki bit btw, Inshallah, he will come around :)