he very bluntly said that " If you want all the things that you talk about, we will both have to work"...
I don't see anything wrong with this statement made by your husband.
I work while my wife is a home maker. She used to work before we got married. She gets what she wants and at the same time she is considerate when it comes to asking me for stuff. She sometimes asks for fazool stuff (in my opinion) and I explain to her that we can do without it and she understands. To give you an example, she goes to the salon/beauty parlor every now and then and we eat out every now and then, but if she wanted to go to the salon every week or if she wanted to go out twice a week or something, yeah I'll tell her the same thing that she needs to start working in order to afford that kind of living.
Your husband is being realistic, that's all. He's already running the house and fulfilling your personal needs. Be appreciative and don't push it.