I have beenr eading through the forums.. and I have found you guys quite helpful. I thought i'll share my concern too..
I have been married quite sometime now. Things are goign pretty smooth. I am quite happy with my overall relationship with my husband. My parents are pretty well off and I never had to worry about money issues.
I am a very ambitious sort of person. I want to have a professional career but I am not after money here but my personal satisfaction. I have worked before my wedding and I never had any reliance on my earnings ever. Basically, I never hadd to provide for anybody. My husband has a good job and we are nto doing too bad at the moment.
My lifestyle is not the same as it was but I dont bother too much about it since I beleive things will get better with time. Recently, when I was talking to my husband about going to a Vacation, he very bluntly said that " If you want all the things that you talk about, we will both have to work"...
It was quite a setback for me. I know its very normal for couples to work andd support each other, but we never talked about it before we got married. I always knew I was going to work sometime in my life but not because I'll have to provide for the family. That puts too much pressure on me.
There are too many things that worry me....How will my kids be brought up when I am never around for them? How will they learn their islamic values? How will I cope with all the pressures working with a covered head? Isnt' a husbandd supposed to provide for his family at all times? I dont want all the luxurious things in life (maybe tid bits of it...it'll take me time) but I still want a decent lifestyle.
Please help me out guys...I think I am not thinking straight....
This is really depressing me out...:(
Welcome! Sad to know about your situation. Honestly, when I read your post, it appears to me that you are confused about what you want. On one hand you say you are ambitious and want to work for personal satisfaction (but are not working currently) and on the other hand you say you were shocked to hear what your hubby said and that you wudnt like to work with that kinda pressure on your head(children being ignored, cooking and other stuff). You said you knew you would work eventually so whats the harm if you work? your hubby isnt forcing you to work... but just said if you need extra luxuries in life you have to support him, which is right. I also believe hubby should provide for the family but seriously life these days is just so darn hard, you have to work together for a better future.
There are many women(even hijabi) working, taking care of husband and children.. its possible I am sure. I dun have a kid yet and I keep fretting about it but I am sure everything will fall into place. I have friends who say they managed some how. Dont worry too much about things that have NOT happened yet... take it easy and go with the flow. If you are really ambitious and dun care abt money then go ahead and work, itll do you good, you will satisfy yourself and help your hubby too! hope that helps