ive been to alot of weddings in pak and here, and even my own…some people give alot like dood pillai and then when the sister sits next to bride and wont let groom sit until he gives money, and some ive seen groom himself arguing and not giving anything or just a small amount…( all done with smiles and jomkes) but is this stingyness, or normal. i went to a wedding, wher the grooms family are well off, but they only gave 3000 ruppees to her sister, and even then they argued for agesssssssssssssssssssssss
all these rasms take ages, and ive noticed its not even that much fun…
my own wedding was ok, however is stingyness commonwhen you marry into your own family, ive seen people who marry out of fmaily get alot more rasm money..
Rasams should be about having fun, not about trying to get rich overnight or ripping someone off.
Who cares if she got 3000 rupees- it's not like that is the first and last time she will ever get her hands on money. I don't see what marrying into or outside your family has anything to do with this- different people have different thinking and traditions. I personally have told my sister and my husband that there's no need to go overboard with rasams such as for joota chupai, etc. One, I know expenses at wedding time are through the roof and it's not fair for anyone to complain that oh you just gave us this much even though you are so rich.. two, it's not like my sister NEEDS that money and three, I know she wants to have fun at the rasams and does not care about the money part. Honestly, when people complain about getting so little money for rasams even after the wedding is done and over with, it makes them appear so desperate and immature.. jaisey kabhi paisa dekha hi na ho.. seriously, have some class.
People need to get over this weird desi mindset of judging everyone by their spending habits. Not everything needs to be measured and analyzed to death, especially something like rasams. Try to look past it.
These things are there to deter from boredom and make weddings fun for everyone. It is not about a money making scheme. If it was, then there would be jhota chupai, pag chupai,watch chupai etc. Hey, why don't we hide the dulha and see how much money we get for him. That will be a new one!
These rasams are there to ease tension, create a nice ambience and for people who may not get to interact much, to have that chance. In a lighthearted manner and without getting all serious about how much a person got.
We didnt get anything for Doodh Pillai. The churail nand said very rudely, " My brother has refused to take part in any kind of Rasams." and when we insisted, BIL said I dont know you can ask “S” , his sis, about it if she agrees I have no probs. and of course she didnt agree. Just imagine…
I dont know why these Nands, especially the parhi likhee nands act like bigger churails..
Agree with Pareezay.... it is all about having fun, but I've seen some people (very few though) actually fighting over these rasams and passing comments like "kaisay kanjoos log hain, itnay kam paisay diayay" and then everyone's mood gets spoilt and poor bride gets all harassed.
IMO, no rasams involving money should take place. I will inshaAllah, not have all this crappy rasam in any weddings under my control (i.e. my children).
FT, that 'churail' nand should have been more polite with her reply.... but don't think too much of it. At least there was no badmazgi later :) Baaqi log tau lar jhagar kar chalay jaatay hain, bechari dulhan stressed out ho jaati hai.
well atleast BIL SAID that, i saw the GROOM himself right in the middle of the crowd and was so deep into the convo as if he was negotiating world peace, he was gna make sure he made the girls beg for it..and he only gav them a little…
Rasams should be about having fun, not about trying to get rich overnight or ripping someone off.
Who cares if she got 3000 rupees- it's not like that is the first and last time she will ever get her hands on money. I don't see what marrying into or outside your family has anything to do with this- different people have different thinking and traditions. I personally have told my sister and my husband that there's no need to go overboard with rasams such as for joota chupai, etc. One, I know expenses at wedding time are through the roof and it's not fair for anyone to complain that oh you just gave us this much even though you are so rich.. two, it's not like my sister NEEDS that money and three, I know she wants to have fun at the rasams and does not care about the money part. Honestly, when people complain about getting so little money for rasams even after the wedding is done and over with, it makes them appear so desperate and immature.. jaisey kabhi paisa dekha hi na ho.. seriously, have some class.
People need to get over this weird desi mindset of judging everyone by their spending habits. Not everything needs to be measured and analyzed to death, especially something like rasams. Try to look past it.
I soo agree with you that people really need to stop judging based on others spending habbits.
I have told my sis as well to substitute the money part with something more fun and cute. Such as ask him to sing a song or dance. Or even dedicate a song. I think thats more fun and entertaining for everyone! I hate the arguments these rasams causes in some weddings. Takes the fun out of it...
well atleast BIL SAID that, i saw the GROOM himself right in the middle of the crowd and was so deep into the convo as if he was negotiating world peace, he was gna make sure he made the girls beg for it..and he only gav them a little....
Actually its supposed to be part of the fun "refusing to give the money/ bargaining it down etc".
