Last nite, unfortunately, i got watching geo’s morning show…they had this women guest who was really upset n at times abusive because her friend cheated on her with her husband and now is married to him.
The first wife said i gave accomodation to my divorced friend caring for her blah blah and she snatched everything from me by basically attracting her husband towards her. This other women, now the 2nd wife, said that she was given space in the home because the wife cudnt manage housework and made her do all the work and that her husband was basically tired of her from the start but was hanging on only cuz of kids. She said how the first wife was always complaining to be sick, didnt care for husband or even kids and wud be sleeping till late and she wud actually make breakfast for her husband.
Not that i have any amount of respect for shaista or this other person who was co-hosting to value their opinion on this matter but since i have heard the same view and opinion from some other people even women too, i felt i should perhaps put that up as a discussion here too…
So assume in the story above what the 2nd wife now is saying about the first one is true, just that in any way justify his husband cheating on her with another women and have the guts to do that under same roof…cuz what they were trying to imply by the show was that it is justified..
To me that shows he’s a weak, weak man! if he had issues with the wife he should have confronted or dealt with it like a man…divorce is there for a reason but cheating can’t be justified in any case certainly not this one.
I think Shaista has been watching the Bethenney talk show…same topic was on yesteday
Apparently, there is a website called she wrecked my home dot com or something like that where women are naming and shaming and posting pics of the “other women” who “stole” their husbands and wrecked their homes.
Here’s my take on it…women who have affairs with married men are wrong, yes…BUT…I say the majority of the blame lies on the man…he KNOWS he’s married and took vows. If he’s unhappy for whatever reason, then either fix the problems or end the marriage. And before anyone jumps down my throat, I am in no way saying wives are innocent. If they knew how to care for their man and keep him happy in the first place, the wife wouldn’t be in this situation.
Infidelity is a total non negotiable in my book, no matter how you spin it. It doesn’t matter who is the adulterer, be it the husband or the wife.
Why blame the other women when your own husband couldn’t stay faithful
Person that can be blamed the most in this scenario is that divorced lady...... That woman (wife) was so generous to began with to give her a place to live in & what she did in response is taking an advantage of her ignorance towards her husband..... She must have started to take care of him in all those areas where his actual wife was lacking ..... I mean people have maids, young & old, husbands don't fall for them all the time because those maids stay in their limits ..... they just don't start stealing them .....
I think wife is ignorant too .... she didn't even notice kay us ka husband laga para he kisi aur ke saath that too under same roof .....
That guy is responsible too ...... if your wife is ignorant towards you that doesn't give you the permit to start having other ladies out there .....
Everything was normal, they were living their life peacefully, things started to happen when that divorced lady jumped into the scene ....
& seriously this extra sympathy thing that desi people give to divorced ladies is I mean ..... I haven't seen anyone sympathizing with divorced guys that much .... aren't men & women equal? they can do everything that guys can than why come to friends place & steal her husband when she can earn on her own to support herself ..... after all men & women are equal ........ wasn't her family around to help her?
^ I felt it was staged by the show however such things do happen in real life! And just like u all are saying and agreeing with me, why can't the husband just have some respect and deal the issue wisely. Why must he mess around to prove that he is not happy with the wife or that he wants out.
Personally, I have never understood this idea of husbands/boyfriends being "stolen" by another woman. A person cannot be "stolen away" unless they are willing, in which case they made a conscious decision to cheat and were not "stolen." If a person allows themselves to be "stolen" from you, then the reality is that they willingly chose to cheat on you and were not "yours" to begin with (as in, they never respected you or cared enough not to cheat in the first place).
Also, as khatti said, the majority of the blame lies on the cheating husband as HE is the one who is married, took vows, and had the responsibility to be faithful, not the other woman. Although it isn't the case in the situation described above, in some cases, the other woman may not even know the man is married.
Edit: This applies to women as well (i.e. cheating wives/girlfriends that were "stolen" from their husbands/boyfriends by another man) as women are equally capable of cheating (although you don't hear about it as much).
This reminds me of the moral ‘know your guest well before you invite him/her over’. the story related to this is the porcupine and the snakes.
here’s the whole story in simple format.
There was a group of snakes who lived in a cave. One day a porcupine was passing by. “That cave looks warm and comfortable,” thought the porcupine. However when he went inside, he found it belonged to the snakes.
“Would you mind if I share your cave with you?”, he asked.
“Alright, you can be our guest.”, said the snakes.
So the porcupine started living in the cave with the snakes.
However, the snakes were not happy with their new guest. Whenever they would pass by the porcupine, his sharp quills would prick them.
One day Snakes said, “Mr Porcupine, would you kindly leave our cave. Your quills are always pricking us.”
“Sorry about that,” said the porcupine, “But I like this cave. It is warm and cozy. Why don’t you go and find another cave for yourself?”
No, not justified. Understandable? Yes, but not justified. Sometimes marriages don't work out, sometimes the heart wants what it wants but the honorable thing to do when you're not happy in a marriage is to either address it or end it amicably. God allows divorce for a reason. If he was unhappy with his wife, he should have let her know, he should have tried to work on things and if that hadn't worked, he should have divorced her before sticking his tallywagger in other places.
No, not justified. Understandable? Yes, but not justified. Sometimes marriages don't work out, sometimes the heart wants what it wants but the honorable thing to do when you're not happy in a marriage is to either address it or end it amicably. God allows divorce for a reason. If he was unhappy with his wife, he should have let her know, he should have tried to work on things and if that hadn't worked, he should have divorced her before sticking his tallywagger in other places.
yup that is what i m saying too...if u hve the option to solve the issue in a respectable way, why be a moron?
Oh my mom told me about this. Let me say it like this: the 2nd wife has no damn self respect, no shame and no fear. It's not justified!! How can you just steal your friends husband and try to justify it. If the first wife had made mistakes by neglecting her duties as a wife or mother he should have talked to his wife about it.
Khair the funniest thing: Shaista giving advice on this HAHA
Our Mamzie is all grown up now. I think it's time we told her that Santa, tooth fairy and people who talk about their personal lives on Oprah-esque shows for millions to judge aren't real.
