John Barnes watched the Liverpool-Chelsea match rather than seeing his child born. Does a father’s absence from the delivery room matter?
No one could accuse the former footballer John Barnes of being anything other than cool, calm and collected about the birth of his seventh child. But there’s admirably relaxed – and then there’s shockingly laidback. When his wife, Andrea, gave birth to their son Alexander on Sunday, Barnes wasn’t by her side, helping with her breathing patterns. He wasn’t in the hospital corridor pacing up and down nervously. He wasn’t even in the nearest pub, nursing a pint and clinging to his mobile phone in readiness for any 100-yard dash that might prove necessary.
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Well I guess husband being in the delivery room isn’t really a requirment in some cultures (I wonder whether desi folks living in the West still follow that rule) but simply not being anywhere near your wife/family during the brith of your child on purpose is very cold in my opinion. Lets see if anybody here approves of John Barnes’ behaviour. lol
at least women should stop blaming desi men for not being in the room. 90% of them at least are in the lobby praying hard. rest 10% just could not make it due to logistical reasons.
it was hsi 7th kid... i think he was over the whole excitement by the 5th!
i would kick my husband sterile if he ever did that to me.. but hey... maybe tey talked it out before hand...
its almost like being extra overly cautious with you first born with just about anything and everythin but by the time you have your 4th.. its all ya ya wahtever.
He's probably already paced up & down the corridors like ... freakin' 6 times or even worse yet, stood by her in the delivery room with all that gore and gut wrenching stuff happening right there so I guess he had had enough of it all this time.
There's nothing more refreshing than watching a competitive soccer match ... live. It enthrals your soul and gives you a reason to live on. He's got my vote of confidence.
It does help to have your husband next to you as you can channel all your pain and frustration on his strong hands...but I guess a whole bunch of ladies around the world don't have their hubbies with them at the time. Doesn't mean they don't love their wife or kid any less...
As mentioned already, this being his 7th child, he has already been de-sensitized to the whole experience. If his wife is ok with it...doesn't matter what we think.
Although I wonder how the child will feel if/when he finds out.
Personally, I'd want my husband there every single time (but then again, I don't plan on having that many children...lol).
At first I thought this was about couples who are in different countries...
Well for most desis, esp our parents generation, being in teh same country during birth was impossible, much less being in same delivery room. I know some dudes who have missed their child's birth/the first few years of their lives b/c they were busy living abroad and working hard to establish their future..
its tough, but you gotta do what you gotta do for your child's future.
How would the child feel when he grows up? I mean will he feel less loved when he grows up, knowing that his father was there for his siblings and not him. It's not his fault that he is the seventh one.
I think it's cold, I'd never forgive my husband if he did that even if it's our 10th child or whatever.
It depends on the individual couples needs. If a couple feels happy with the absence of their partner during the birth then that's fine. If they prioritise something above the birth without consulting their partner then that's a no go.
A friend of mine decided she wanted her husband to stay at home and look after her older child and wanted her mum to be at the hospital with her. She said she'd feel more comfortable knowing her child was being cared for by his dad in a familiar environment so it would keep one worry off her mind. It worked for them. I maybe like that in the future. It makes sense.
I know of couples whereby they rely on other family members to be present so the husband isn't expected to attend the birth.
It depends on the individual couples needs. If a couple feels happy with the absence of their partner during the birth then that's fine. If they prioritise something above the birth without consulting their partner then that's a no go.
A friend of mine decided she wanted her husband to stay at home and look after her older child and wanted her mum to be at the hospital with her. She said she'd feel more comfortable knowing her child was being cared for by his dad in a familiar environment so it would keep one worry off her mind. It worked for them. I maybe like that in the future. It makes sense.
I know of couples whereby they rely on other family members to be present so the husband isn't expected to attend the birth.
Whatever works for you.
going along with this,
i think it would be ok if he was home with the other 6 children at the time and taking care of them.
unless you’re being held at gunpoint or something.