This was inspired by another thread about whether or not a girl was a lesbian for inviting other girls to their bed. I would like to move it into another direction.
My husband said before we were married that I could have a girlfriend on the side if I wanted. He didn’t consider that cheating. I did. I also pointed out that two girls could fall in love just like a man and a woman. He still thinks a woman will ultimately want a man and just has girls until she can get married.
I don’t know why, but this sort of shocks me for a couple of reasons. I know a few openly gay couples and they are very much in love. It may not be a lifestyle I agree with, but everyone is allowed to make their own path with God. So, it seems to me that by saying this he is dismissing other’s relationships out of hand. The other reason it bothers me is because personally I believe it is cheating even if it is a girl.
What do other people think about this? Would this be cheating to you?
ALSO, do you take same sex relationships seriously? Obviously, I am not talking religiously. I am speaking couples you live near or work with (if you do). Do you believe that their lifestyle is just a temporary leave of their senses or serious?
No name calling and please, I know what the different religious views are on this, that isn’t what I am asking for. I am asking for personal views.
I know, shocked me, this was before we were married though, it was when we started dating. He wanted to make sure I understood I was not to date others anymore, though women were ok. I thought he was kidding. I thought it was cheating no matter what.
When I realized he wasn’t, I made sure I said no men for him. I also asked him if he also dated men (I got suspicious after that). OMG, he thought I was insulting him. He insisted it was gay if it was 2 men, he wasn’t gay, but not gay between 2 women. Surprising.
I think it is more he thinks it isn't possible for a woman to live without a man (in typical male fashion) either physically, fiscally, or emotionally. Ridiculous and something we argue about endlessly, but that is it I believe he thinks.
My mother and father split up when I was 9 and she remained single the rest of her life. She has right now at the age of 60 started dating a minister in VT, but before that she put herself through college and now has a job where she travels all over the world. She moves every 3-4 months, makes enough so she is more than comfortable, and is very happy.
She and my husband playfully argue back and forth about this because he is constantly trying to hook her up with men he knows. She is an absolute knock-out and looks like my younger sister, so my husband thinks she NEEDS a man.
It is one of the very few blind areas he does have.
The real funny thing is two of our friends are gay and involved in a relationship (it blew his mind at first because one was a female Indian - that just didn't happen in his world). He keeps asking if they are still together even though they have been together more than 4 yrs and are looking to adopt.
I thought of that right off the bat when he said that. But he really isn't interested in that. Believe me, I am not afraid to question someone about something I think is off.
Unless he was concerned that you weren't being "satisfied", I don't see a reason for such an offer. It's like offering a bucket of V8 juice to a crocodile -- useless.
Agree, LI - I think this was his way of trying to impress.
So many people not born here have so many different ideas about Americans and how we live that it could have been a comment about the sex drive of American women whispered to him somewhere in the mountains of Pakistan mainifesting itself right then. Who knows.
My question here was, would you consider it cheating? And do most people here consider a relationship valid even if it same sex? This is putting religion aside, of course.....
Sorry, I didn't read all the replies just the first post.
It's cheating depending on the intent of the parties involved including the person who gave permission to the other partner. Sometimes, cigar is just a cigar but if two become emotionally entagned (i.e. wifey/hubby and the sex partner), cheating is the least of their concerns. The emotional nightmare of losing a wife/hubby/partner is unbearbale -- seen it happen to a good friend. In a controlled situation, where hubby/wifey is finding partners for other, and setting the paremeters of the game, it could be managed. Otherwise, it's playing with fire.
My question here was, would you consider it cheating? And do most people here consider a relationship valid even if it same sex? This is putting religion aside, of course,
In desi society it is not considered cheating. Both men and women find it more comforting if their spouse is hanging out with friends of his/her own gender. Desies are raised with a mentality that this kinda crap only happens in western news & movies (not sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing).
it's because most of us guys think that a female-female relationship cannot possibly be as emotionally or physically fulfilling as a male-female relationship and therefore aren't threatened by it.
There is another reason as well, but it's not suitable for a family forum ;)
Madsci, as a man who has had menages and all kinds of ungodly daliances don’t hold back man…tell us. Apparently you have been with lesbians, women in all ports..men? Comeon partner..let it out. Educate the kids.. :k: