She can always work on her husband after marriage to make him change his opinion on this issue.
If your spouse asked you to leave your job and that they could run the household fine on their good income, would you throw away your years of education and give in?
How could you possibly expect a girl to do the same?
I'm sorry, but if someone sent a rishtaa to me with the stipulation that I leave my job, I'd say "Tail lehne jao". Insha'allah, I'd like to be a doctor. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY YEARS OF DIFFICULT EDUCATION YOU GO THRU BEFORE BECOMING A DOCTOR????
Lets not even talk about Residency - that's pure torture.
But you see so many women doing it - and why should they NOT?? Give me one good solid reason why a woman should not work BECAUSE her husband says "no"?
oh and this is the religion forum- if you're going to post up such stuff, Faisal, I'd suggest you get some hard-core proof to go along with it.
From my side, I offer you
the LACK of PROHIBITION on working women in the Quran and sunnah (of course if the work is clean)...
Prophet GAVE Khadija A CHOICE of what she wanted to do with her business after their marriage.
Aisha's awesome leadership and scholarly roles - very much involved in her community.
My argument is, that Pakistani (since this forum is a Pakistani one) men have a traditional mindset that women should not work, or at least they should stop after marriage. Granted, many men are coming out of that mindset, but there are many still....and just because you haven't seen cases, doesn't mean there aren't any.
So, if a Pakistani says to his woman, "thats it - I dont want you going off to work" for no good reason other than his pretty ego being hurt, then is this ISLAMICALLY JUSTIFIED, and if so HOW? Offer Quranic proof or proof from Sunnah if you can somehow find it.
And dont throw that verse of a man being a provider at me, because I'll tell you right now that a woman working doesn't mean that all of a sudden the man is NOT the provider in the house. He can still pay the bills...in fact, a vastly accepted viewpoint today is that women CAN work, however cannot be held responsible for paying of bills etc if there is a man around. So whatever money she makes, she is free to spend it or save it as she wills.
i probably have joined this part of discussion rather late, however if you will allow me jump in for a while…
It should be stated first that Islam regards the womans role as mother and wife as her most essential one. Neither maids nor baby sitters can replace such role as that of the mother’s, the mother has the duty to educate an upright and carefully-reared child. She has such a noble and vital role to shape future of society,nation. Which explains why the woman ask her husband for consent to work if she wishes, unless the rigt for her to work was mutally agreed bfore consent of marriage.
However, there is no decree in Islam which says that women cannot seek for emplyment after marriage, there are some roles that may fit her nature best and also a woman can take that role in society where she wil be able to help,where society needs her more. for example(nursing,teaching ~~~<teaching a very respectable position) ,also charity work, etc.. you get my drift! )
Pyari: Nobody is saying that the woman shouldnt be able to work after marriage ! but she also as responsibility of her home and family.. Many women are able to work and uphold there family life at home!
There is a collective obligation (fardh kifaya) on the Ummah as a whole to promote, defend and facilitate the institution of marriage.
I am not sure why you are so angry. I had said earlier, that it seems to me as a personal opinion, that giving up a good marriage and/or proposal on the sole reason that you are insisting on having a career may not be Islamically correct. And that you need to check with someone else, if you think its an issue. Some of the points raised by Dai_sista give more credence to the same argument.
Having a career, and being a doctor and all that is fine and good. I am sure there are more than plenty of guys who will love to marry a $$$ earning doctor girl. This may already be a moot point in present day and age. However, at any point in life, if there comes a choice between family and career, and you decide that your decision should be Islamically correct... you may have to go for the family. Then again. I am not an authority on this.
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*Originally posted by PyariCgudia: *
My argument is, that Pakistani (since this forum is a Pakistani one) men have a traditional mindset that women should not work, or at least they should stop after marriage.
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Your argument is faulty at best. It may have been true years ago. Except for an odd-ball individual here on GUPSHUP, or in any population, you will hardly find a majority of men saying women should not work. Thats just not true anymore. Atleast not in the circles I move around. If you are still surrounded by people who think like that, thats obviously your problem.
Faisal, I'm glad you're not in that circle, and thank-God my family isn't like that either. However, I've come across many fellows who still think women should undoubtedly be prohibited from working.
I hope you're right when you say most Pakistani guys aren't like that anymore. (And I'm talking about Pakistani guys LIVING IN Pakistan - not the ones raised abroad).
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY YEARS OF DIFFICULT EDUCATION YOU GO THRU BEFORE BECOMING A DOCTOR????
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*PyariCgudia: *
Salaam, as Dai_ji said... before you actually marry you should discuss with your future partner's opinion about carrying on with education or work after marriage rather than having complications after marriage i.e. divorce.
1 of my aunties is a doctor in the army in pakistan, she was brought up in village, she has been working since along time and she has a very happy family, who all respect her. She had a very successful marriage and has been looking after her kids even though she has a very demanding career. SO pyaariC your point maybe true in some few cases but you can't generalise.
I think it should be analyzed by that "career oriented" girl that whether she thinks she can be a better, constructive & positive individual for her society and people if she persued her career goals (along with avoidence of fornication, ofcourse) or would she rather serve better being a wife procreating & growing (her kids) useful beings for the rest of the society.
She should be quite fair & intelligent to decide on that. If she thinks she would serve a better & much positive purpose being single, there's shouldnt be anything wrong with that. On the other hand, if she fears comitting sin (if that's the stronger part of her), she should think twice making a choice. Or a follow a balanced way which is to find a balanced man who understands & respects his wife's wishes. I think it can be attained.
If she cannot find such an understanding man, she should carefully weigh all the possibilities. The priority should ofcourse be to live a pure, positive & constructive life. Either as a wife or being a career woman or both.
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*Originally posted by Faisal: *
I have yet to meet a single girl with that kinda dilemma.... on the contrary I have seen some married couples, where the husband actually wants the wife to get some more education and get some decent job, now that the kids are all in school, but the lady is enjoying the life so much, that she couldn't be bothered.
However, hypothetically, if a girl is in a career and a proposal comes for a guy who is acceptable in every other way, and the guy creates a stipulation that the girl should not work after marriage.. all things being equal I will advise the girl to let the guy worry about the bills and she should marry him. She can always work on her husband after marriage to make him change his opinion on this issue.
Ofcourse, I would say, I have met more men who are actually looking forward to have wives who are working women, and the remaining won't mind the extra income as well.
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It is very great reccomended to get ones daughters or sisters married once they reach maturity. Maturity includes the matureness of the body aswell as of mind and understanding. A girl has to be mature in order to be a responsible person because she may have many duties waiting for her. The biggest duty is to be able to serve, satisfy and make her husband happy (he has the same duty on her). If a girl is very young then you cannot expect her to fulfill all these things because she is simply too young to understand it.
Did you know that serving and making the husband happy is of equal reward as jihaad, the womans jihaad is keeping her husband happy and haj whereas men have a more difficult duty to get this sawab!
As a mother a woman ranks 2nd after Allah Mian in regards of respect, this is what i've read.
Every time a woman feeds her baby she gets the reward of freeing 27 slaves!
A woman can ofcourse also choose her partner herself. A nikkah is also not valid if the girl was not asked for permission and consent.
I can provide you more information on the mother role if u want!
A person also fulfills 50% of his religious obligations by marrying!!
