Is it a fair request spouse to lose weight?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Is it a fair request spouse to lose weight?

well either he is too caring or despotic ... either way , what ever floats your boat :)

22

Re: Is it a fair request spouse to lose weight?

Being overweight causes so many other health issues that its really almost a given that a caring spouse - husband OR wife - would try to help there. And its only natural that people want their spouse to look nice but pressure to have surgery or any type of invasive procedure, I think that gets into a grey area. If its something thats desired by the "victim" then its nice when the spouse offers it...but if its something that the spouse just hauls off and requests it to be done I think thats tactless and uncaring. Botox can be damaging and dangerous if you go to a less than reputable doc. It can cause horrible scarring and paralysis. Tummy tucks leave horrendous scars and can go terribly wrong with much loss of muscle tissue which can sometimes lead to incontinence. Both are extremely serious undertakings and should never be lightly suggested just so that the partner looks like a 20 year old. We ALL get older, we all suffer the effects of childbirth, gravity and aging. So most of the time, I say, live with it and age gracefully.

23

Re: Is it a fair request spouse to lose weight?

Very well said Mo3 :@:

24

Dye NJ Dye .. :hehe:

To loose weight is good for that person’s health also, not just for his/her looks
Get botox? .. well asking someone to take care of his/her skin should be taken in good sense but am not sure about botox
Dress certain way .. why not? My wife likes me to wear certain kind of shirts, and I go with her suggestions

Over all, I want my wife to like me more than anyone else. and If she likes me to look certain way and its not unethical then why not

25

Re: Is it a fair request spouse to lose weight?

you da man TLK!! I wish my hubz would let his hair grow longer than the buzz-cut that he likes, he's got such a thick head of hair. I'd love it if he let it get long enough for me to run my fingers thru it! He also calls bathing suits "costumes" which makes me think of superman lol!! HOW I'd love to see him in a superman-type speedo lol!! FAT chance. He's a good guy tho, if we win lotto, he'll let me go for the tummy tuck which I want lots more than he does. He tells me that he loves my "baby scars" which makes me love him so much more but still doesnt take away my desire to get it done. He'll also sigh and say "sure go for it" when I order Latisse which makes eyelashes grow. But even so, he's happy with me as I am so I'm really lucky and I know it!!! :)

26

Re: Is it a fair request spouse to lose weight?

Die NJ Die - I knew IT!!!

I would love it if my hubby would dress a bit swankier - but the guy refuses to change his Jerry Seinfield look.

Guarteened that his work environment is very techy and labby and even the execs just show up in jeans - but seriously he looks so handsome with a tie :wub:

so what should I do?

Insist that he change his ways - or love him for what is he is - collared shirt tucked in his jeans with sneakers kinda person. He’s so happy and confident being himself.

27

oh wow ! he's a hubby to keep LOL - just kidding

28

Re: Is it a fair request spouse to lose weight?

so where do we draw the line? - everything starts hitting south after a while....

I see so many desi aunties getting nip tucks now :) and they blame it on their husbands. Their hubsbands could't care less and are usually checkin out the blondies :)

NJ MASTI - Long time no see on GS :)

29

Re: Is it a fair request spouse to lose weight?

NJM, i like playing devil’s advocate with hypothetical questions.. :hehe:

But yours is the type of repsonse that i was waiting for :k:

NJG, did you just call me a desi aunty? :asa:

30

yes I was busy with work... lesser load means hang out at GS!!!! yea!

About where do we draw the line - I say it should NOT BE PRESSURED by hubby or anyone. Any changes good or bad must come from YOU.

If you feel you want to then go for it!

If hubby wants you to then I would knock his ball out and tell him - now go fix it!

haha

31

HYPOTHETICAL? shoutinghard

it was MY life you were talking about - there was no hypothetical situation in MY wanting TT!!!

LOL

but seriously, I think a tummy tuck procedure is a big one.

I would not recommend it for anyone who was as depressed as I was. Cause My depression lasted for 2 days.

I am glad hubby shouted. LOL

32

oh My.
i must show my husband ur post" love running fingers thru: lol exact my words.
i say same thing to my husband but he cuts them off as soon as they start looking better.he says long hair irritates him :(

33

aww I feel awful now, I wont let hubby grow his hair, long hair on men makes me feel ewww! The only things my hubby says is 'never cut your hair' and 'don't start wearing make-up'. I used to tease my hubby about his dry face so he has started using face cream, I still tease his 'old man' style salwar kameez but he pays no attention and only wears the ones I buy him on Eid. My hubby and I are totally against ‘cosmetic’ surgery so that would never be an option and to be honest my ‘war’ with the aging process started back when I was 19, ever since my face care products are my most valuable assets, almost literally!
I suppose you have to find a balance, you need to know that you partner loves you more then physically, but you should always make the effort to be appealing to them.

34

Re: Is it a fair request spouse to lose weight?

People change, in fact love to change for their spouse .. what is the big deal ..

35

Guys look cool in Jeans and Tshirt .. though I hate those white Seinfield sneakers. He can wear black causal shoes and would look great on them

Guess next poster
36

if the weightloss request is coz of health issues its ok , if for cosmetic purpose .... its mean
same for the other treatments like botox hair dying etc
a spouse can certainly comment on dress if it aint modest etc , but apart from that id consider it an insult

The Jail game
37

thanks for replies to my edited comment.

38

Munni firstly losing weight is something you only do for yourself not because someone wants you to. It will make you feel good about yourself , its healthy and doing it for someone else makes it that much more harder to acheive.

Secondly girls who tell you its ok to be overweight and the guy should like you for yourself are either delusional or not really your bestest buddies. When it comes to rishtas neither do you have the amount of time nor is it possible to get to know a person well enough to overlook physical attributes ......Physical attraction is the first and foremost deciding factor in a relationship and if you don't like what you see would you go after it ? I don't think so !

The girls here are talking about asking your spouse to do something that appeals to them .....which is entirely healthy and what it should be.......your in a relationship with this person and after the novelty has worn off , you need to build on other things to make that relationship stronger but its doing things like dressing up for your partner , or dying your hair , keeping a particular hairstyle etc. that keeps the "spark" alive !***

39

I think there is a huge difference whether a rishta is asking you to lose weight or a hubby is asking you to lose weight. People know their hubby's really well, and can discern whether they are asking their spouse to lose weight because they are genuinely concerned for them. They may also provide support, motivation and help to help the lose weight.

Rishtas you know for only a short while, you've probably only seen them once, and when they say it, the underlying statement that a girl hears is simply "I will marry you only if you lose so many lbs". Which no one likes to hear.

40

Re: Is it a fair request spouse to lose weight?

I have never heard that a rishta would approach a girl with conditions to lose weight.

Mostly, if they think you need to loose weight they will NOT pursue this further as a rishta first of all!

They always have options to go for someone without weight conditions.

Now - it depends if the guy and ONLY the guy said that to you!

Then I would simply flirt it out! and tell him equally well that he needs help too everywhere - up, down, side, side ! lol and wait and watch him crumble to pieces with insecurity.

LOL

Also, beats me! Why did you not ask them that you will try to loose weight, but lets say if you don't then what?