I’ve always been a person who keeps to herself, minding her own business and never letting anyone too close to me. I have been like this when I was in school/uni and I’m like that at work too. My husband was the only person who knew me inside out and we shared many interests together. We were in long distance relationship/friendship for 6 years before we got married 2 years ago.
To be honest I never felt the need to have a close friend other than him or my mom whom I’m close to. I have acquaintances and few ppl in my life who trust me and share everything with me. I’m great in listening and giving advices, but I find it very hard to share back or ‘open’ up about my issues.
Lately I’ve been feeling very down or maybe you can say lonely at times. I remember being closed off when ppl wanted to know me more and become ‘close’ friends as in my mind I’m too busy for this, but now as I reevalute things…i feel that I made a misake. Maybe I shouldn’t have let my work/studies/hubby or anything else take place of a friend.
I’ve so much to do right now but I don’t feel like doing anything. It feels heavy…I wanna let out things that are bothering me and I want someone to tell me it will be okay…but I’ve no one this close who would understand.
did I do this to myself? Is this just temporary cuz i’m emotional right now or having a friend is important in one’s life. How can I change myself?
Re: Is having a friend important?
You said that you are close to your husband and mom, so have you tried discussing your worries with them? You also said that there are a few people that trust you and share everything with you.....do you share with them? If not, then consider talking to them. I don't think that forming a new friend right now for the purpose of discussing your troubles would be the best idea....it does take some time to develop a bond with another person. I think you should take it slowly...don't rush it....talk to your loved ones about your issues....and then slowly start interacting with other people....within your family/family friends/community etc. I do think that having friends is very important....it's connected to our health and overall well-being....but at the same time I personally think it's better to have even just a very very small group of close/dependable friends as opposed to a large circle of friends that are more like "acquaintances" and whom you can't really connect with or rely upon. Hope you feel better soon.
Re: Is having a friend important?
I feel this way right now living on my own in pak. no friends here. and it can be hard. you think, well i have my family and husban etc, but its not the same as friends. i realised, i need to make the effort. no one wants to be friends with me, when they already have their own set, il need to go out my way to make them. that, or keep occupied with my kids. but having friends is important. try your best.
Re: Is having a friend important?
I agree with redvelvet , try discussing it with the people who already know u & u trust.
It depends on ur nature too I guess. If ur outgoing fun loving , ppl could know a thousand things about u and happening in ur life but not necessarily not know u. Sometimes u need a friend because they just get u without having to say/do anything. if that person is ur hubby then that's good.
Re: Is having a friend important?
Yes having friends is important. Sometimes, you just cannot discuss things with your relatives including your parents, siblings or better half. You can change yourself if you want to. If at this time you feel, you need more friends, you can make new friends. Immediate emotional issues can be discussed here on the forum. Its much easier to open up when you are anonymous and no one knows that its you discussing the problems, right? So if you feel you are missing out on anything by not having more friends, why don’t you make new friends. Its not like there is an age for making friends. 
Re: Is having a friend important?
it certainly is important to make friends...no matter how close you are with your spouse and parents...
i'm same like you...i've never made close friends....after marriage i moved abroad no contact with friends back home coz they were not close....n i really feel that now....n its even harder to make friends from scratch.....
that is the reason for me joining GS...:)
Re: Is having a friend important?
Its important to have friends but its also improtant to know that people judge easily.
Re: Is having a friend important?
same is my case..after marriage came to uk..husband goes on job n comes late..my family in pak is ignoring me as i keep on disturbing them daily for hours..i m pregnant..feel so alone..no desi around..no frenz...nothing...life is so boring..tired of usin net :(..thats why i joined gupshup..
Re: Is having a friend important?
Yes exactly GS IS your BEST FRIEND EVER .
(Just keep clicking these ads so it can stay alive)
Re: Is having a friend important?
Re: Is having a friend important?
Great advice from everyone.
Re: Is having a friend important?
Its important to have friends, but its equally important to be wise about friends. Just because you see someone as your close friend, doesnt mean they are seeing you in the same light. I think its important to be clear about this, because if you start venting out your heart to a person, who just sees you as someone in their social circle, very soon that person will be running away from you.
Now that you have a person who is a very good friend, appreciate it. Often times we forget to appreciate them, because we are used to them.
Is having a friend important?
Dreamylife I am in a similar boat to u xoxo