for guys i mean. Like guys saying their family wont agree... there are complications ... mother & sisters doing emotional blackmailing & making guy marry a girl of their choice... throwing such dialogues nahi tu mein mar jaogi tumhare liye. Are these things for real in desis? creating big fuss on castes esp syed lot.. how they dont marry anyone outside..
To some extent, yes. One of my friend’s family flipped out when he brought up marriage with a sunni girl whom he was head over heels for. They threatened to stop speaking to him if he brought the idea up again.
shia sunni problem?
It does exist to varying degrees. But I feel that if a guy truly believes that the girl is the one for him, then he’ll move mountains to be with her and I know of several such stories; some from my own family.
Yup. I think it had more to do with him choosing someone on his own, religion was just an excuse. Because after that fiasco, they rejected another girl he brought up even though that girl fit the bill religiosity wise.
Is the sky blue? Of course, desi parents turn into helicopter parents when it concerns their children’s marriage. If they can be persuaded and reasoned with should be done on a case by case basis.
Family pressure could be real but it could very well be fake in order to get out of a relationship. But if the pressure was real and the guy fought for the girl, I?ve seen many girls exploit it and make guy?s life miserable afterwards.
I had a dispute with my family when I was getting married to my wife. After lots of effort I was eventually able to convince my family and married my wife. But she misinterpreted my efforts and kept throwing temper tantrums.
Similar situation happened in Imran-Reham marriage. Imran?s sisters didn?t liked Reham but Imran went ahead regardless. But Reham misinterpreted his efforts and tried to make Imran?s life miserable.
If a guys fights with his family for a girl, he becomes very weak. Then it?s up to the girl if she exploits it or not.
yes…its as much an issue for guys as it is for girls…
Yes it is, for both men and women and it can be very difficult. But either have the backbone to follow through or don’t get into the relationship in the first place.
In those cases, do you feel the in-laws and the girl eventually got along after marriage?
Whats the point of this pressure? Just so parents can still feel in command & order around?
They think you owe it to them…they brought you up from being a child to adulthood…and unless you marry with their approval…its equivalent to you wasting your life and also taken as a sign of rebellion…thats why their OK is a must in your marriage.
Its mostly about control. Other factors could be wanting to preserve a certain ‘bloodline’, prejudices against people different from them, fear of the unknown etc