Is education really more important than personality?

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Is education really more important than personality?

There is hot debate about this going on at: Rishta Dilemma Thread by Inspiron.

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Re: Is education really more important than personality?

I think that the person should be able to groom themselves, be it through schooling or other reading interests. But for two reasons, I still prefer education:

1) I identify with education. It simply MATTERS to me.
2) I am planning on ensuring that my kids get GOOD education and that's difficult if the father doesn't have it.

Thirdly, he should be able to make enough money that if I decide to be a stay-at-home mom, we can afford it on one income.

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Re: Is education really more important than personality?

Being educated does not necessarily mean being a doctor, engineer, lawyer etc. You can have a degree in anything you enjoy. I believe it is extremely VITAL for one to be educated, no matter what the field may be. I have been married for 3 years now alhamdullilah and while that isnt a long time it has taught me that educated people are a WORLD different than the uneducated ones. However, that doesnt mean that personality isnt important either. They should go hand in hand.

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Re: Is education really more important than personality?

Education is a tool to build personality.

If you go to a mechanic and he says that I dont have tools but I'll fix your car, you will be scared to death to leave your car with him although he might be able to fix it without tools. On the other hand you will be satisfied to leave car with well equipped mechanic.

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Re: Is education really more important than personality?

I can't be around people who think they're the elite of this world or of the pakistani community because they have more education than others, and that's very common amongst us desis...

it's no coincidence if this thread comes after the arrogance one after all...

there are so many people, especially girls, who go to uni, but they don't even have a personality, they don't talk to people, don't have a very wide cultural knowlegde, they won't even have much conversation because they have nothing to talk about.

don't get me wrong, i'm not being bitter, i don't have any reasons to complain (been at uni for 7 years now..) but i never felt superior, i barely ever felt proud because to me, going to uni is nothing hard, and anyone can do it if they have the means and the motivation.

so that's why i don't understand the deal with people setting requirements on the level of education that their partner should have to "fit them"

i would be bored to death if my husband was an engineer or a doctor but he didn't make me laugh, or cook with me for fun, or make fun of me, or go out with me without any reason.

by the way, higher education does not necessarily mean higher income

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I agree with you completely. Our desi community, especially in Pakistan more then here, people act like if you don't have an education you aren't worth much. I don't understand why some people on here are saying "education makes your personality"...i mean did we have no personality before we started uni or college?
University is not difficult at all, anyone can do it but it comes back to "who can afford it" which is why so many poor people in Pakistan are unable to attend schools due to financial issues, not because they're not "smart enough". Yes education is important and yes it does land you a career but it is not everything. If education makes you proud and arrogant then what sort of personality do you have anyways? clearly it isn't worth much in the eyes of Allah. I don't mean to drag religion into this but if education makes you so proud which allows you to think low of others. Even if no one here has called uneducated people "low" they surely have implied it.

Education is knowledge - knowlegde is power. That doesn't mean all knowledge comes from schools.

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Re: Is education really more important than personality?

Yeah, education, in it definition itself, has a wider meaning than school.

i think somebody mentioned that if your partner is not educated or doesn't have a minimum level and blablabla, you won't know what to talk about with him. i think people who are in a relationship will agree to say that sometimes they feel like they are complete opposites but they never get bored of their partner. your other half is rarely just like you, he is complementary to you. if you're the ying then he's the yang.

i have lived into books ever since i'm a kid, my man has never even touched any of his life, still, the only time i will feel proud in my life is when i marry a wonderful man who studied 3 times less than me but who always makes me feel alive.

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Re: Is education really more important than personality?

highly educated? hmm i don't know.. while education helps you determine some sort of mental compatibility that you can have with someone, it can't be the complete factor to base your decision on for sure. education and personality go side by side. It simply upgrades what YOU are (could be good or bad).. I wouldn't go for the education only.. for the most part, i would be interested in his nature, his ambitions, how he perceives life etc. mental compatibility really holds importance for me.. i have seen atleast two couples in my family where they couldn't simply relate to each other because of the very some reason. Why do you think the marriage of Hazrat Zainab (RA) (who later on married Prophet PBUH) and Hazrat Zaid (RA) didn't work?

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Education plays an important role in decision making.... TRUST ME!!!

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yes because uneducated people are more jahil than the educated ones. Education and personailty development are both related.

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Re: Is education really more important than personality?

I have always got chance to decide myself what im gonna study. Dad and mom haven't never forced me to go to uni etc. They just always said that we can study whatever we want to study but they just dont want to see us stay home and do nothing.

My mom is a teacher and dad businessman, so they are both "educated" but they just haven't never emphasized that degree is most important thing in life or that degree holders are better/smarter persons, and im glad for that. Im in uni, my bro dont have degree but he has been working from young age and he has now really good job, so he has become successful without degree. And then my sister is studying to be beautician because that has been her dream since age 7.

I didnt know/realize before that degree is so important in desicircles, so really I havent never thought or stressed about my education. And for me its really funny thing because well I have born and raised in west, and my mom isnt pakistani so in western culture really people dont look degrees that much. And here university is basically free, but u dont get in so easily, they take from about 1000 appliers 100-200 people in every semester. So here it doesn't matter how much money u have, u really need brains to get in university.

I just believe that chemistry is most important thing when u are looking spouse. And if I would be in rishta situation and someones first question would be about my education I would say "no" right away, cause really I just dont get people who thinks educated people are better than others.
Yeah I agree degree brings safety to life, but u dont do anything with that safety if u have chosen ur spouse because of that degree and dont get along with him/her.

And I would love to be someday stay-at-home mom (like my mom was) but Im not gonna stress whether my future husband earns enough money to support alone our family or not before its current topic, and I believe that u will find solution every problem if u just want that.

Point is that I just dont like people who are arrogant because of degree and choose their lifepartner/ or says no to rishta proposal just because of degree status and dont look any other qualities. And yeah of course I dont like those ppl either who says yes or no to rishta just because of name,weight, height, skin complexion etc. but that would be another thread :D
For me personality and chemistry comes way over education, but like its only my opinion. =)

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I totally agree with u :)

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Ashy if your husband is more educated then you then he could have superiority complex as well. Highly educated husbands soemtimes don't consider their wives view in any decision as they think that their wives are JAHIL. And seriously these types of husbands make life difficult for their wives. And i have seen these cases that's why i am saying.

I have heard the inverse story few days back. A doctor girl got married with her cousin who is just matric pass and they are really happy. Girl has left her practice as she wants to start her family first.

For me education is not that important. If I like some guy who is just graduate or may be inter but he has good job and personality (Yes.. only few institutes groom you.. otherwise in universities you can find Ph.ds in very bad huliya), I will definitely say YES. Because after marriage he can complete his studies on my demand. His future should be bright and for bright future you need brains or intelligence not degrees. Education has importance in our lives but in Pakistan anyone can get degree in any private university without studying anything.

Mireage is right that highly educated people are very boring... they spend most of the time with their books, its my personal experience as my father is Engineer with masters degree and he is very boring, spends most of his time with his books. :p

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Re: Is education really more important than personality?

No, I wouldn't. Not being educated makes you narrow-minded and disables you from making good decisions most of the time.
That's not to say that ALL educated people are good. Some of them end up being jerks. The ideal person is someone who uses their education for good, not evil.

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After reading beautiful posts by Jazz, cutefifa and Cinnamon i am quiet optimistic that insha'allah i will find somebody to get married with girl like that. Just so you know i can do anything to be with girls like Jazz, cutefifa and Cinnamon and keep girl like that very happy. Respects to all of you and bless you..because you have been raised very well. I am personally looking for a girl like that..because i am still finishing my under-grad and have good job though. Again...

HOW do i find girls like that in the community?????????????????????/

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Re: Is education really more important than personality?

You can't deny that education plays a major role in the way you develop and mature into an adult, it shapes the way you think and just gives you a better perspective on things. Of course if the guy is a plumber but is well read and intelligent then I wouldn't have a problem but if he's never picked up a book in his whole life then that would trouble me. The reason people like 'dactars' is because it offers a hefty pay cheque and financial stability and for a lot of girls that's an important thing to consider before marriage. Judging people for preferring education is just as bad as judging people because they aren't educated.
I'm a boring bookie, so to be married to a guy who hates the sight of them would be quite an unbalanced marriage, if a girl thinks that an educated guy will have views that are more similar to hers than an uneducated one why is this arrogant?

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good luck with hunting bro :k: