Is celebrating love not a part of our culture?

[muqawwee123]

Re: Is celebrating love not a part of our culture?

@Muzna

I totally agree on your view of Valentine’s Day being just one day, commercial, et al and I don’t see any need to adopt it wholesale. No arguments there.

The bolded part is where my concern falls. What is wrong with suggesting that our beloved prophet pbuh was “romantic” with his wives? It is a quality that should be cherished and appreciated…not buried away or hidden under the guise of shame. How does a husband being affectionate and romantic towards his wife make him less than respectable? Should we not exemplify such acts so as to encourage the same behaviour in society?

We are keen to imitate him in every other aspect but when it comes to something that could lead to the fulfillment of a carnal need (i.e one that is also considered a right of the husband upon his wife and the wife upon her husband), we find that less than “holy”. I’m afraid that I can’t agree.

Certainly there are restrictions…I would hesitate to use language that is crude or vulgar to describe the act but to deny the existence of such feelings is ridiculous and lends itself to the belief that, na’auzibillah, huzoor s.a.w. was anything more than a mortal human being.

And I disagree also with bringing or developing something original to eradicate taboos. Let’s begin with just accepting that which must have existed and not hide perfectly natural feelings behind an unnecessary veil of piety.

As an aside: notice your reference to the fact that your friend is a practicing Muslim, though not “molvi”. this suggests that you respect him and value his opinions therefore if he believes that associating the word “romance” is not appropriate for a holy and revered personality, he must be right. ← this is where the taboos begin or are reinforced. this is what we need to change.

I didn’t agree with his view, but I did respected his views as I know when it comes to his own life, he will not be a rigid molvi. Sometimes arguing on beliefs does not do any good and we just need to move on.

As far as my personal opinion on romanticism is concerned, I don’t lose any opportunity to bring prophet’s life to convey that we should all be very much caring with our families. A few weeks back, my assistance (again a religious person. He is in Tableegh activities) asked for half day. He himself told that it is his first wedding anniversary and his wife want to celebrate by inviting some relatives on dinner. He was somewhat shy while telling that and added ‘I have told my wife that we are just inviting people for dinner and its not anniversary celebration’. I asked him whats the harm if its an invitation to celebrate an important event in your life. I don’t find any thing un-Islamic in that.

Then I discussed with him (while raising some questions) like why our scholars on mimber only convey one bitter version by quoting ahadees like angels curse all night to a lady who deny right to husband? Why don’t they convey prophet’s life when he used to race with Hazrat Aisha or the way he remembered friends of Hazrat Khadija even after her death. He said that in our Tableeghi dauras, we have been told that Prophet taught Hazrat Aisha how to prepare (goondh) aata for making roti. I asked him that these are not told with that frequency like the ahadees for angels cursing ladies.

Again I would stick to my view that we can eradicate taboos by referring to hidden areas of our culture and religion.