A friend of mine is trying to get an abortion. She has her reason I can’t blame her.
I have always considered myself to be pro choice but now the more I learn about it the sicker it makes me feel.
She wants me to drive her and accompany her the whole time. I am very uncomfortable with it. But I am the only friend she can rely on and I want to help her.
I am not provoking her to do this but I can’t tell her not to. I don’t like being judgmental but I am loosing respect for her.
Am I assisting in murder or is OK to help her and be with her. Is this haram? Does it makes me a sinner & murderer. I have not done things in life that I regret but feels like this might be it.
Re: Is assisting in murder a sin?
well it depends on the situation. like y doesnt she want to have this child?
if she has a reason then a person can have abortion as long as the fetus is in its early stages i.e theres no heartbeat. alot of ppl agree on this.
sum1 else can shed more light on this. im no expert so im jst telling wat i knw.
Re: Is assisting in murder a sin?
She does not feel emotionally, physically, and financially able to have another child. baby will be 8 weeks by the time of abortion and will have a heart beat.
My concern is that does being with her and helping her makes me a sinner and assisted killer or not?
Re: Is assisting in murder a sin?
Well, I don’t know the religious implications for sure but I can say that just because you feel like you can’t handle the child doesn’t give you reason enough to abort it. Medical reasons are valid. I obviously don’t know the details of her situation but I think she should keep the baby. :hinna: I think parents should be more responsible pre-conception and use birth control if you want to delay pregnancy. We have so many people who’d give anything to have a child and on one hand we have people who get rid of them because it isn’t the “right” time. If you are married, you could get pregnant you know…it’s no rocket science. 
Anyway, it’s done so what’s the use discussing the could haves. At this point, I think if you are uncomfortable then you should tell her so. She may actually turn around just by your point of view or your emotions. At least you don’t have to live with a regret.
Re: Is assisting in murder a sin?
Peace snowman
I find it interesting that you titled the thread the way as you did, then announced how you feel ... I think you should conform to your gut instincts on this one.
Beside, have you possibly thought that your friend may actually be using you to convince her to go ahead with it and in reality is also partial minded ... Not that wanting it on your conscience is enough but to be blamed for it, can you handle that?
Re: Is assisting in murder a sin?
The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Each of you is constituted in your mother's womb for forty days as a nutfah, then it becomes an 'alaqah for an equal period, then a mudghah for another equal period, then the angel is sent and he breathes the soul into it." According to this hadith, soul is given to a fetus after 120 days or 4 months so any abortion before that time cannot be considered murder.
However, without knowing the entire details, I would suggest you encourage her otherwise. Her feeling that she cannot take care of the child has been felt by many other mothers and once the child was born, the feelings change drastically.
My own sister was upset when she found out she was pregnant as her health was poor. Her husband suggested an abortion as the child could have seriously affected my sisters life but my sister didnt and the reward was a beautiful daughter after 2 boys. My sisters health is the same but she feels more able to cope because she has that daughter in her life.
Re: Is assisting in murder a sin?
^ wildhalcyon
The interpretation of this hadith is not 120 days, but in actual fact 40 days.
nutfah - drop
'alaqah - clinging thing
Mudghah - chewed flesh
Visible Embryo Carnegie Stage 6 - drop sized around 0.2mm, 13 days since fertilisation.
In this period it is clinging as at the end of stage 6 the placenta forms and the embryo stops being a drop, by becoming attached. From day 13 to 26 it remains a clinging thing
Visible Embryo Carnegie Stage 12 - It changes from 'alaqah to mudhgah on day 26-27 … it takes on a curvy shape and buds limbs, hence the description chewed flesh.
Visible Embryo Carnegie Stage 16 - It is on the 40 day mark that the hindbrain develops, and controls breathing, heat regulation and muscle movement.
The correct way to read the hadith is to put a colon after days and grammar correct we have the answer.
“Each of you is constituted in your mother’s womb for forty days: As a nutfah, it then becomes an 'alaqah for an equal period, then a mudghah for another equal period, then the angel is sent and he breathes the soul into it.”
Re: Is assisting in murder a sin?
Though some jurists believe it to be 40 days only,The quote from Sahih Bukhari is interpreted by many jurists to mean 120 days. 40 days as nutfah and THEN it becomes alaqah for an EQUAL period (meaning ANOTHER 40 days), THEN a mudghah for ANOTHER EQUAL period (another 40 days)…This states that each stage is 40 days totallying 120 days.
If we were to consider the possibility of it being 40 days then by the time that most women discover that they are even pregnant, it would be too late. Many scholars have stated that abortions are considered haram but is only allowed in exceptional circumstances such as the womans life being in danger.
One is not allowed to abort a child for merely financial reasons as it goes against the principle that Allah is the sustainer and provider for all, including those that are not yet born.
I would once again advise the poster to talk to the friend and show her what abortion means. Can she really live with the guilt of what she will do for the rest of her life? Please google search for anti abortion videos or images. I am not posting any links as the images can be very disturbing.
Re: Is assisting in murder a sin?
^Well, isn’t it merely a discussion beyond the question itself?
The person said it would be 8 weeks and scientifically speaking the embryo is like this.
Face of the 8-Week Embryo
(Please listen to the video at this page)
**The reasons cited appear wrong no matter at what stage the pregnancy is.
**
Emotional stuff is crap when a life is at stake. Financial matter is also out the window since its not human, creator promises rizq!
Physical reasons must be clarified/certified by a competent physician and if not then it is immoral and should be illegal to perform abortion in this situation.
She does not feel emotionally, physically, and financially able to have another child. baby will be 8 weeks by the time of abortion and will have a heart beat. My concern is that does being with her and helping her makes me a sinner and assisted killer or not?
Well as far as financially is considered. as a friend I would advice She needs to have faitlh in Allah SWT... he might give her rizq with the kid... inshallah
Physically... Are there any medical issues involved?
Emotionally... I am not a priest but I don't find this as an legitimate excuse.
Is the dad ok with all this?
Re: Is assisting in murder a sin?
Thanks all for replying. Just so you know she has decided to keep the baby. yahhhh
Thanks again for your contribution.
^ Good thing your problem got resolved but for the future reference abortion is not murder no matter what pro life propagate.
I respect your opinion but will never agree with it.
Re: Is assisting in murder a sin?
snowman good gal/boy :k: dont agree to that.