My dad says ‘yes’, my mum says ‘no’, what should I do?? It’s my brother’s wedding and he is fine with it.. We’re engaged but haven’t made the big announcement.. things are further complicated by the fact he’s not desi (but I guess from a distance he might pass for one as he’s tanned and has dark hair lol).. I would like him to sit on the end of the table next to me, is this pushing it or acceptable?
I was joking with my dad that if ppl ask who he is he could just say something really vague like ‘a family friend’, wouldn’t be a lie as such.. our family and some of my parent’s close friends know about him anyway but my mum is worried about others gossiping and my brother’s other half comes from a family much more conservative than ours (tho her parents themselves aren’t too strict) to the point that they didn’t even sit down next to each other to eat at the same table during their engagement party for fear of offending her relatives..
Sounds complicated. I went through the same sort of thing. We didn't let everyone know right away that the engagement happened, so every function i had to not invite him.
I say, you need to get it out in the open asap. Otherwise ppl will gossip. People will gossip anyway. This is what aunties do, gossip. If it isn't about you with a non-desi, it is about what you are wearing, or the fact that you aren't married yet. They forget about it the next day and move on to their next prey. Don' t live your life worried about others.
Also, spare your fiance the drama, and get it out in the open, he doesn't deserve to be drawn into the drama-filled escapades of aunties!
Yeah, you're right Delilah.. I guess it's also not really fair subjecting him to all the curious stares and gossip (even if he can't understand what they're saying!) making him feel awkward..
Desis need someone, anyone to gossip about. Yeah you are in a tricky situation but even if he was desi they would still find something or another to talk about. They'll always criticize. That's what they are best at.
You father is ok with it, I am sure he'll support you when needed.
whats so hard about it... you (or your family) is not going to formally introduce him to anybody..right?.... so if someone ask out of curiosity, just say he is your brother's friend or coworker or classfellow or watever....
invite him. ppl will always find something to gossip about one way or another. wouldn't u feel hurt if ur fiance's bro/sis was getting married and he didn't invite u because ppl might gossip?
i had a similar problem, i think there's so many people and they're more fussed about how they look, they won't pay attention to some new guy, unless you talk to him a lot or something ,then eyebrows will be raised...
Honestly speaking, if it were me id rather just not include him in family events until he is 100% officially ur fiance. Why go thru all the hassle of feeling awkward and uncomfortable, as well as starting rumors. This could hurt yalls relationship which has barely begun. Yalls rishta is still really fragile right now, and why add extra possible drama?
IMO u should do it the right way, announce it as soon as possible, then feel free to bring him everywhere with you.
Of course, in the end you should do whats best for you... Thats just what i would do :)