I dont know how to put it, but some ppl have told me that they think its so cool etc that I am so social and so on.
But the thing is that I feel so weird when I am among other ppl. I feel kind of “scared” or feel that I am not like the crowd, be it the desi crowd or the gora crowd. I feel that I am the only one being different from the group no matter what origin the group may have.
And if I have attended some meeting or been out for dinner or something where I have been among many ppl, I just go home feeling all tired of humans and have a tendency to cancel my appointments later for the week, just to have time for myself.
I still live with my parents and 2 other siblings. Some time I feel that I need some space and need my own place to live where I can invite over my own friends. Now I never invite ppl over to my place cuz my room is not that big and whenever I have had guests over, my mother and elder sister just have to comment on them and blah blah.
So the thing is that I never throw a party or dinner to my friends, colleagues etc and whenever I have been to their social gatherings or some other meetings etc I just dont have the energy to be more social for some time.
My best friend has moved aborad and my other best friend has become so much busy with her studies that she doesnt have time to meet me, or even call or sms me anymore even though it was who was her side when she felt everyone else had left her. But now she is so busy that she hasnt time to meet or anything, eventhough I could understand from her that she has been meeting a lot of pp lately, so I dont get y she doesnt have time for me??
I dont spend much time with my family either. In the weekdays I am usually just tired. And in the weekends when I am in the mood for some family fun, my sisters come over with their husbands. And I just have so many issues with their husbands that I stay in my room whenever they come.
I miss those old times when we all had fun, but I guess they wouldnt come back again as things are now…
I just need to be with myself and I stay in my own room mostly where I actually dont really know what to do as I am not in the mood for reading or surfing or do anything else.
Am I being an introvert???or what would u call it??