Intolerance Towards Opinionated Girls in Desi Culture

[Miss_Noland]

@Mirch

First of all nobody likes opinionated people. Opinionated is a negative term.
Here is the dictionary definition of opinionated from Opinionated - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary
“: unduly adhering to one’s own opinion or to preconceived notions”

But that’s what I mean though. Our desi Society likes opinionated men but not opinionated women. Their reaction to opinionated women is so negative yet opinionated men are somehow put on a pedastal because they seem smart.

Khair English is our fathery zuban not mothery zuban , everybody makes mistakes. I do too.

In desi community in general having opinion and then expressing it in public requires lots of courage and guts. On top of that if you start defending your opinion you immediately become a public enemy number 1.

I agree with that. But with women it’s to an extent that they are pressured to keep quiet about almost everything…let alone expressing an opinion. If a girl is talkative, she is easily labeled as “batooni, mu-phat, bat tameez bla blah”

People start shunning you and you become outcast very fast. We as a community lack tolerance for other people’s opinion. What can you expect if our background is that , people are known to be executed , persecuted , jailed for having an independent thinking and opinion.

That is so sad but true!

Very few desi have this mentality of respecting other people’s opinion. Very few of us have open minds , hearts and hands.

This is not limited to women who have an opinion of their own.

I am not talking about political gatherings or even anything outside of family gatherings. Why are girls expected to say absolutely nothing while there’s no such restriction put on guys.

You have to tell the truth , it does not matter if it breaks their heart. Allah will not give you sawab if someone is saying or doing inappropriate and you keep chup.

I tried it but now I just sit their quietly and listen to them BS about stuff I no longer have much interest in. It’s just whatever!

Very few people amongst us are so open minded that they will give a wife the right to have independent thinking. That is why you need to learn the art of being diplomatic to keep the peace in your home. You should surely express your opinion but not directly , forcefully , bluntly and aggressively. Even then there is no guarantee that our narrow minded people will not take an offense but you would do the right thing though.

Agreed..it’s really difficult for me to be have a diplomatic attitude. I hate pretending what I am not.