Shared values, custom and traditions are varies from family to family in same culture. Marriages in same culture also go through adjustment period. Interracial marriages are not piece of cake and faces extra challenges. Social and cultural negative stereotyping, harsh and derogatory comments, stares, insults, and hostility may make couple’s journey difficult.
Do you accept such marriages?
How do your culture look them?
What are common problem such couple faces with each other?
Yes, as long as people are on the same page, know what they are getting into, and respect the other person’s culture. What irritates me though is when people marry someone who they know is different from themselves and then complain about the differences and attempt to change the person.
Our culture tends to be a bit insular in this regard and leans towards marrying within our own culture. However, people do marry outside of our culture, most often guys though, and people usually accept it. How accepting out not people are depends on what the culture/background of the other person is.
If people discuss potential issues that may arise thoroughly before marriage, how said issues will be addressed, and make sure they are on the same page, I think most problems can be avoided. This requires compromise though. I think problems arise when spouses have opposing views on things and are not willing to compromise on anything or when people assume they are on the same page (when this may not be the case) and don’t discuss things in the hope that things will “sort themselves our after marriage.”
I think this depends on each individual couple and what is important to them. Overall, I would think this depends on how close or involved each of the spouses is with their own culture.
Our culture tends to be a bit insular in this regard and leans towards marrying within our own culture. However, people do marry outside of our culture, most often guys though, and people usually accept it. How accepting out not people are depends on what the culture/background of the other person is.
Out of curiosity, I asked my husband what his observation has been regarding the issue of interracial marriage in our culture and he mentioned that he's also observed the above for the most part but quite emphasised the part in bold.
In his observation, most parents prefer that their children marry within our culture, but eventually accept it if they marry into other cultures, assuming that they like the person. Apparently, he's observed that certain cultures are more frowned upon than others and I (loosely) quote "I think people eventually get over it and accept most ethnicities, with a few exceptions. Good luck to you if the person is something like Russian or Pakistani though."
I feel if the couple are living in a neutral country then it becomes easier for them to live a life devoid of either culture and expectations.
For example, Jemima and Imran Khan couldnt settle very well in Pakistan coz the cultural divide was too intense. similarly, my friend who is a pakistani, fell in love with an Indian guy, got married and after two years her husband lost his work visa and had to return to India. obviously she too had to accompany but went through hell with visa's and then later trying to manage the cultural issues that took a toll on her marriage, health and kids .
I feel if the couple are living in a neutral country then it becomes easier for them to live a life devoid of either culture and expectations.
For example, Jemima and Imran Khan couldnt settle very well in Pakistan coz the cultural divide was too intense. similarly, my friend who is a pakistani, fell in love with an Indian guy, got married and after two years her husband lost his work visa and had to return to India. obviously she too had to accompany but went through hell with visa's and then later trying to manage the cultural issues that took a toll on her marriage, health and kids .
Considering the deleterious policies vis-à-vis Afghanistan pursued by both Russia (during the Soviet era) and Pakistan (well into present), it’s quite understandable why Afghans would disapprove of and frown upon a family member marrying a Russian or a Pakistani.
Having said that, there i**s an instance of an AfPak interracial marriage albeit involving members of diaspora so both husband and wife are Americans of different ethnic/racial origin! Naheed Hasnat Senzai is an American writer of IndoPak heritage married to an Afghan-American. She has written two children’s books with Afghan theme/characters. (Her first book received some rave reviews and quite a few awards and nominations as well so it might be of some interest to you!)
