Re: International huq mehr
So I was with a friend a few days ago and we were talking about her marriage. She’s Iraqi so i was quite interested in knowing exactly what preparations they have for their weddings. The topic of Nikah came up and she very nonchalantly says to me, “oh yea, i asked for AED 10,000 in mehr plus a gold jewelery set”. The money alone was equivalent to $2800 plus the money he would spend on buying gold. And this isn’t some rich guy but your average Joe who has a regular job and a family to support.
Trying to not look too flabbergasted, i asked her if she thought she’d asked for too much. She scoffed at me and told me people ask for a lot more and she was being very kind buy only asking for this much. I then proceed to tell her how in Pakistani cultures some hardly even ask anything in mehr and some that do have a very reasonable amount. She scoffs at me again (i was very irritated by this point) and tells me here in UAE women ask for a lot more and she didnt know what world i live in. Apparently women go as high as AED 500,000 in money and the gifts are separate! She knows of a couple of friends who’d asked for such amounts.
I just shook my head at her and changed the topic, unable to grasp the information. I guess it might be an arab cultural thing because i checked in with other married arab friends (palestinians, jordanians, egyptians) and turns out asking for 10,000 in mehr is very normal. Albeit we pakistani’s spend a lot more money ON the wedding; 3 day event, hundreds of people, clothing etc, these guys spend on a one day function and keep the rest of the moolah for themselves. I’ve been to a few arab weddings too and i mean, it’s nothing special. Our weddings are way more extravagant. But again that’s their preference.
Lol, to the men out there i bet Pakistani women are looking great right now, aren’t they? lmao.
My question to the men is; if the woman was beyond gorgeous , everything from your dreams, personality and character wise etc but she asked for this kind of mehr.. would you opinions about her change? would you judge her for it/.
To the women; would you want such an amount for your mehr? What’s the thought process that you go into a marriage with? Does what he give you as mehr matter?
I want someone who will be honest, faithful, loyal and truthful - I’ll settle for a 7 or 8 out of 10 rather then go for a 10/10.
My sister got married last week - I’d rate her a 9/10 in a non incestous way: georgous, good height, 26 making over £150K a year (so highly educated), brings multi 7 figure dowry/inheritance, from family who won’t be interfering everyday, is all for equal rights WITH equal responsibilities, practicing, praised for her ikhlaaq etc. Guess what she got for her haq mehr? Saharai haq mehr on the insistence of my father.
Some girls and their families think that their daugthers have golden wotsits if you know what I mean.