Hi
Assalamualikum..
i really like to know abt marriage system in pakistan.
If a foreign girl (not pakistani but muslim), she married to pakistan guy..
what must she consider b4 her marraige?and how to help her to adjust with
pakistan society n family system…how to build a good relation with pakistani families.
As i know..intermarraige between two culture need lot of understandings n cooperations..
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
Nur
U need to be more specific to get an answer.
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
Nur nothing is set really..just be open, talk to the guy and make sure you help each OTHER navigage family/cultural issues...if you both are working together...and don't assume the other will figure it out...it'll help.
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
cOme 2 mE ill shOw u what u really want to know :)
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
i am half german and half paki,, and my mom was 100 % accepted by my dads family.. i think the main word is RESPECT!!!!! and at least i think that both people should be muslim,because all the rest are just traditions.
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
ws
it varies from family to family really. bests.
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
Thanks All..
Adyan.. may be there some tips form ur mom how she build a good marraige ..there.. pls pls ask ur mom..
what abt poeple who stay at the villege? i dont hink they are very open n can accept now thing in thier family..right?
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
my mom was muslim already b4 she meets my dad..
and everytime we went to pakistan( nearly every year) she behaved like a typically pakistani woman,, my dad family live in a small village near pindi..
my mom learned urdu n panjabi and used to wear shalwar kameez there...
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
It can be very difficult, but depends completely on the family and personality of your husband to be. If the family is accepting of you and welcomes you up front, you've already won half the battle. If not, there will be issues.
By the way, is your husband's family aware of the major differences between Malay and Pakistani culture? It's quite likely that you would be expected to live with your in-laws.
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
true :k:
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
my sister-in-law is spanish, she converted about 10 years ago, and about 5 years ago met my brother and they got married. we all love her, and it all depends on how much the family and the couple are willing to accept. we masha allah had no problems, but thats partly cause my parents were totally cool with it. i think amana is right though there needs to be compromise, as with any marriage. good luck.
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
My oldest brother is married to an Italian woman(she hasnt converted but does her 'research' as she says!). Its been about 9 years now and they have 3 children. My sister in law even spent 4 years in our village and worked in refugee camps in Pakistan and said that she found the people very accomodating(moreso than she expected) and also she picked up on the local languages too (Panjabi and Pashto). I think there was a lot of respect, love and understanding (with a few touches of compromise here and there) which has made it turn out well. I mean my sis-in law is more Pakistani and fits in more than some Pakistani girls I know! So, dont worry, Pakistani society is very welcoming once u get passed the initial hurdles of marriage :)
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
I think you will be fine. Just remember that village people (depending if thats where you are heading for as I dont know) are very simple minded when it comes to foreigners. I am 100% Pakistani, but because I am from Uk I am always treated a foreigner there,lol. It's really great and they will see your ethnicity as 'exotic' trust me.
The fact that you are Muslim will be very appreciated by them.
Tips;
a) Try and take part in conversations with the girl groups but make sure you are very in with the elder ladies. Talking to them, listening to them will go a long way.
b) Smile at them alot! It always works and will show you have no ego issues with being amongst them. Remember, anger is usually a defensive move, if they feel insecure in anyway, try and placate it straight away with a kind smile.
c) Get in with the kids! You will learn a lot from them, plus they can be useful when you need anything.
d) If you pray/read salat in the families presence, it will do immense benefit in the respect that you will gain from them.
E) Most importantly, BE PREPARED. In case a certain relative goes ape, argues in the background (every family I now has a thunder stealer...) then try to have patience, avoid that person, and try and chill with the oldest lady in the house. She'll back you up hopefully.
I hope that helps Sis, goodluck and let us know if any of the tips helped! :)
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
Thanks alot janua raja.. ur tips is very good for me..now my family in discussion with his family..so i hope i better know more abt pakistan everything mostly abt family circle..so that everybody wil like me alot when i come to them soon..thanks ya
ur tips n sugeestion r very much welcome ya..
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
i believe many people from his relatives; if not immediate family; would try to make things hard for u and would not like u/outsider; even if they like u apparently!!
you should not expect anything from anyone apart from your husband; and you would have to win/earn his parents/siblings love!!
never trust anyone apart from ur husband; or inlaws at the most!
all the best
Re: intermarriage..married to pakistani guy..
The fact that you are Muslim will be very appreciated by them.
Tips;
a) Try and take part in conversations with the girl groups but make sure you are very in with the elder ladies. Talking to them, listening to them will go a long way.
b) Smile at them alot! It always works and will show you have no ego issues with being amongst them. Remember, anger is usually a defensive move, if they feel insecure in anyway, try and placate it straight away with a kind smile.
c) Get in with the kids! You will learn a lot from them, plus they can be useful when you need anything.
d) If you pray/read salat in the families presence, it will do immense benefit in the respect that you will gain from them.
E) Most importantly, BE PREPARED. In case a certain relative goes ape, argues in the background (every family I now has a thunder stealer...) then try to have patience, avoid that person, and try and chill with the oldest lady in the house. She'll back you up hopefully.
I hope that helps Sis, goodluck and let us know if any of the tips helped! :)
Add one more thing. If you are heading to a village location. Try not to talk to males that much. it is a very close society. Females usually don't mingle with males.